Optimal Interval Between Cumming

[assclass]

When I was a kid, it seemed like I could constantly masturbate and cum multiple times a day and everything was grand. Now I am barely bothered to cum every weekend.

Has science told us how frequently we should orgasm?

 

[atara]

The formula for the optimal number of hours between orgasms is (age * salary * (# of dependents) * ($ value of your car))/((# of full moons this year) * (5 if Mercury is in retrograde otherwise 3) * (# of hairs on your body) * (# of letters in your zodiac sign + 1 if it's a leap year) * (number of blankets in your house) * pi * (# of times you will inhale next month)) + (1 for every video game you've ever bought with your own money).