lordofpie69
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2022
- Messages
- 8
So long story short I was on heroin on the streets for about 6 years. Not doing too much, just smoking like at most a half gram a day. Finally I got on suboxone and got clean and then kicked suboxone on a taper a year later. I was clean for nearly 4 years then I got in a motorcycle accident. The doctor told me I was whining and stigmatized me a drug addict. I went back to hospital 3 times, and he took Xrays and said I just had broken collarbone and was fine. Well 2 months later I go to seattle and my arm was dislocated the entire time, healed my collarbone all fucked up and now have chronic pain. Should have sued the guy but waited to long and probably missed statue of limitation.
Anyway been a little over 3 years now and living with chronic pain and losing my work as fitness trainer and coach I become quickly dependant on painkillers. Once again moved quickly to heroin. This time IV and got up to almost 2 grams a day. Then went on the blue fent pills did about 20 a day. Now I'm smoking fentanyl powder. I want to get clean but it's hard to find a rehab that doesn't give me the hard sell. I know staying clean is the hard part for most people, but I have a little more emotional intelligence and self understanding at this age and the hardest part for me was the kick anyway. Needless to say with my massive tolerance I'm terrified of how bad the detox is going to be.
I would just go send it and do it but I'm worried about how I will get passed insomnia. When I was clean for all that time I barely slept more than 2 or 3 hours a night. The first 6 months I would go 4 or 5 days without sleep and then crash over and over again. Lately on my attempts to kick the insomnia was worse I only made it like 2 or 3 weeks and literally would not sleep at all in that time. But that was like a year ago and my tolerance is like ten times that now so I feel like it will be worse. I'm thinking of going to a psychiatrist and see if they can work with my insomnia and in the meantime plan to go to a detox. I can't afford a full rehab. Anyway wondering if anyone can help me with these issues and give some advice anything is appreciated, thank you!
Anyway been a little over 3 years now and living with chronic pain and losing my work as fitness trainer and coach I become quickly dependant on painkillers. Once again moved quickly to heroin. This time IV and got up to almost 2 grams a day. Then went on the blue fent pills did about 20 a day. Now I'm smoking fentanyl powder. I want to get clean but it's hard to find a rehab that doesn't give me the hard sell. I know staying clean is the hard part for most people, but I have a little more emotional intelligence and self understanding at this age and the hardest part for me was the kick anyway. Needless to say with my massive tolerance I'm terrified of how bad the detox is going to be.
I would just go send it and do it but I'm worried about how I will get passed insomnia. When I was clean for all that time I barely slept more than 2 or 3 hours a night. The first 6 months I would go 4 or 5 days without sleep and then crash over and over again. Lately on my attempts to kick the insomnia was worse I only made it like 2 or 3 weeks and literally would not sleep at all in that time. But that was like a year ago and my tolerance is like ten times that now so I feel like it will be worse. I'm thinking of going to a psychiatrist and see if they can work with my insomnia and in the meantime plan to go to a detox. I can't afford a full rehab. Anyway wondering if anyone can help me with these issues and give some advice anything is appreciated, thank you!