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  • Words Moderators: Shambles

opinions on my lyrics

downfallin

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 8, 2010
Messages
188
Location
Somewhere in California
I love you now.
Tomorrow I hate you.
One day I submit the next I dominate you.
I lose my self control every now and again.
Haha lets be honest, indulgence is my best friend.
you my biggest fear
and my biggest threat,
too bad I love you just, like that last cigarette.
The last one of my life that I swear ill ever have.
Its too damn bad that it makes feel so glad,
the moment I give In,
I know the meaning of this sin.
. So easy to compromise,
Im tricking myself with my own lies.
No more compromise
it seems that I am just the cabinet to myself
all I can do is analyze and advise until I realize.
I breathe and I deceive only so that I can grieve,
in this moment I will open up, so listen.
All these words that I am spitting,
ima make something happen.
ima take the drivers seat,
take the test and ima pass it.
What you need to learn is what you need to figure out,
taking action is the difference between a wildflower and a sprout.
It takes balls to play the game that is our life were all connected
in a way but still separated from the light.
. Separated like a stoner from his high who cant find his light.
Sparking herb lights a match to my very own perception,
I feel like it uncovers all of this deception.
Do you know whats right? Have you learned your lesson?
Don’t take this life for granted because you know that its a blessing.
 
I like the ending especially. Your pacing is a little bit off, and the wording is a bit bland, to be completely honest; but I do like the general idea and believe that it could make an awesome poem if shaped up a little bit. Just keep working at it man. Not bad at all.
 
you said they're lyrics right? just remember lyrics don't have to rhyme at all really, they just have to "fit" with the pace of the music. sometimes the word that rhymes is not always the right one to get the meaning across, unless it's a rap... i think rap is basically just like poetry put to music, whereas other alternative genres are more like stories put to music. you know what i mean?
 
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