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Opiates Suck... This is Tough

TryingToGetBetter said:
Hey! Got through day 7 so my first week is down, thankfully. On day 8 today and let me tell you, it hasn't been easy. I have actual cravings at this point, but it's because I did some heavy lifting today at work and my back is all fucked. I'll get through it, but some days sure are different from others eh?

Still going strong man. I hope you are doing well on you day 5?
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How's day 9 bruh?! Day 6 for me. Seemed to have really rounded a corner, yesterday was hard but so far so good today. How's that back man?
 
Hey everyone. SSTP, sorry I dissapeared for a minute. My parents came in town so I was busy trying to entertain them. I'm on Day 10 and it's okay. My girlfriend has a fever of 103 right now so I'm trying to balance watching her, babysit her kids, clean the house, and resist urges all at once. Back feels better when I take my vitamins in the morning. The urges I can't say have been terrible per say; however, I'm dealing with that void we all have known to feel.

Depression and anxiety seem to be my darkest horses to overcome right now. Feeling strong though, I don't want to use so I know that's a big positive.
 
Hang in there buddy. You can pull through! Stay strong and find a new hobby to keep your mind constantly occupied.
 
That's my biggest problem balilewis, hobbies. It's difficult with having to watch her kids a lot, so hobbies are hard to come by I guess. I used to love playing video games... I still enjoy them, but I feel they are somewhat of a trigger for me because I never played without using. Not to mention, I'm not sure if staying here and fighting through this in a job I really don't like in an area I really don't like is the right or wrong decision.

I have a few options... stay here, or move to GA with my parents and start a new job I may prefer. I know that "leaving everything behind" isn't going to "fix" it, but at this point I don't feel like it could hurt. My mind's just fucked right now you know?
 
Your mind isn't "fucked up," your just in a very vulnerable state.

You can always try exploring new hobbies, keeps me occupied any way.

Exercising improves mood substantially. Jogging, weights, sports, cardastalicks(terrible spelling, basically like push-ups, sit-ups etc.) and even walking.

It also benefits your health and keeps you busy.

There are thousands of time consuming activities, just keep an open mind. :)
 
Cake eater :) hello my kind friend. Day 11, feeling really good today with regards to dealing with addiction. The issue I'm running into today is my mind feels clearer, and I feel and recognize that I don't know if my current situation is the most conducive to staying clean, and also achieving longterm happiness.

I'm cluster fucked... Am I really in love with this person? I'm 26 with no children... Is that a responsibility I can handle (3 of them)?

Am I missing something? Things felt different on pills. They are starting to feel different.. Not in a bad way for me, but could have pretty negative effects on those I've spent the past year with... Anyway... I dunno. Day 11 for me, keep pushing you beautiful souls.
 
I tried the running away thing three times over the past year. Temptation and stress is everywhere you look. Running away to try and solve your problems won't make them any better, trust me.
 
DaybyDay, Thank you. I've been told that in NA meetings as well. I guess addicts will find their fix when they want it, sometimes they'll find it regardless of the cost. I just want to find and keep my sobriety!

Thank you again for your response and input. It is so very appreciated by me.
 
Hey Buddy. You're doing great. Glad to see we're both still here!

My advice would be not to make any crazy life changes just yet....gotta let our senses get used to all the new stimuli first. Let's just get through today my friend, that's all we can do.
 
SSTP is right. I wouldn't make any rash/life changing decisions based on how you're feeling right now. Your brain is on a worldwind of emotions right now coming off the pills. I'm sure you love your girlfriend and her children very much. I wouldn't let that go just yet. Besides she's been there for you through all this right? How many people would do that, be there for you through this shit? That says alot about her. Hang in there man, you'll get through this. Just no rash decisions. I have no one by my side going through this.
 
Happy Holidays to all. SSTP thanks for dropping a line. I hope you have a great day today. This is the first Christmas in a long time I've had a sober Christmas. So far I've helped one of my girlfriend's son's build a lego set. She and I will be going to a move at 12:30, Desolation of Smaug woot woot, hopefully my back holds out for that 2 and a half hour long movie :).

I agree with you guys. I'm not trying to make any rash decisions. Each day is different from the previous, whether better or worse. I'm going to stay put and try to work through my issues. It says a tremendous amount about my girlfriend that she's helping me with this. She's an amazing woman and I do love her very much. You guys know how it is when you're getting clean... it's like you don't know what to do with yourself. Funny how my mind always goes straight to "run away" mode.

Thanks for the words of support. Today is day 13 of sobriety. Almost 2 weeks... huge accomplishment for me and I'm glad I've been able to resist my urges. Yesterday I had a lot of urges, not so much for opiates in particular, but for something that would be altering. Just ended up going home after work and sticking it out.

Anyways, again, Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays. Please take care. With love and support... TTGB.
 
Turning in for the night. Just wanted to re-iterate that I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays as much as possible. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, I love you all and I wish you the very best.

Day 13 done. There were ups, there were downs, I built an entire lego set with my girlfriend's son which took hours. I went and saw The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, and I highly recommend it if you can sit through a 2h 40m movie. Me personally? I needed a clonidine and 1mg xanax to for anxiety and some shakes here and there. Day 13 and I'm not perfect. I know Day 60 I won't be either, but hey, I can't wait to say I've made it officially 2 weeks.

Goodnight. With love and support, TTGB. Love you all so much and thank you for your continued support.
 
neversickanymore said:
Nice.. im going to see that movie in the next couple of days. Give any thought to working some aerobic exercise into that recovery?
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It's awesome man, you'll enjoy it. I have given thought to it, just difficult with having to pick up my girlfriend's kids some days (today for example, and tomorrow) after I get off at 5. I know I can go out during the night time, but haven't made it yet :/.

Day 14 today. Officially 2 weeks when I go to sleep. I didn't have opiate urges today, yet at least. My body has shivers still, so I guess it's PAWS at this point or maybe the end of the Acute WDs. NSA, I've had urges to use uppers man. I guess it's the lack of energy. I know it will get better as time goes on, and I know this is a verrrry long recovery.

Question for you: Is PAWS 2 years for everyone?

With support and love, TTGB.
 
Checking in. Today is 21 days in without using any opiates. Feeling better overall, and have gotten decent sleep. Urges aren't really there. I don't have any want to use, period.

I'm definitely not 100% there and know it will take a lot of time before I get there, if ever I feel back to normal completely. I've spent less time on the computer, hence the decrease in my posting.

I'm thankful for everyone who has helped me in person and here. I just wish I could start using the bathroom normally again :/, gah, 3 weeks you'd expect bowels to be back to normal...

Going to the mountains this weekend with my girlfriend and her kids. That's another topic for another day. TTGB
 
Day 25. Loving this sobriety. I had an extremely, exTREMELY stressful weekend in Gatlinburg, TN with my girlfriend's kids. They were horrible. Good news? I never got the urge to take pills. I'm back home and it's the furthest thing from my mind :D.

5 more days and I have a month! So happy and thankful. Love you all. TTGB.
 
Hey man, registered just to say that I really respect your ability to do this. 25 days is fucking amazing, considering that I can't even go a week without some sort of mind altering drug in my system. Had to ditch weed for career purposes, but now I find that all I do is try to replace it with something else.

Just took the last 2 percocet's I had prescribed for my broken rib, and I'm really hoping that I can make that the last of my recreational drug use for at least another few months...

Thankfully I'm not addicted to any one substance, but more just the mentality that those substances are able to create. That feeling of not being bored or worried or having to think about what to do with my time. But it's still infinitely better than having a physical addiction to any one drug. I'm already at a stage where I find less enjoyment in the little things without a little bit of drug assistance, and I'm honestly scared that I won't be able to go back to what it was like before I discovered mind altering substances.

Keep up the good work man.
 
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The feelings you felt before using are coming back because you never dealt with them, and unfortunately they won't go away until you deal with them, sober.

You will need a serious plan of action to follow if you want to stay sober. If you didn't like NA, try AA - I did mostly just drugs but I have been sober working AA for almost 8 months. (after 5 ish years of heroin/opiates)

If you don't like AA either, try smart recovery or LifeRing meetings. They are non-12 step support groups that offer a great alternative to many people in recovery. You gotta do something though, because getting clean is the easy part. Staying clean, is a whole different monster.

Best of luck, Stay strong and positive. :)
 
Kazegami said:
Hey man, registered just to say that I really respect your ability to do this. 25 days is fucking amazing, considering that I can't even go a week without some sort of mind altering drug in my system. Had to ditch weed for career purposes, but now I find that all I do is try to replace it with something else.

Just took the last 2 percocet's I had prescribed for my broken rib, and I'm really hoping that I can make that the last of my recreational drug use for at least another few months...

Thankfully I'm not addicted to any one substance, but more just the mentality that those substances are able to create. That feeling of not being bored or worried or having to think about what to do with my time. But it's still infinitely better than having a physical addiction to any one drug. I'm already at a stage where I find less enjoyment in the little things without a little bit of drug assistance, and I'm honestly scared that I won't be able to go back to what it was like before I discovered mind altering substances.

Keep up the good work man.
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Wow that means a lot man. I know how you feel. I always felt like I needed something. My advice is to keep it easy on pain killers. They will ruin you lol. I appreciate your kind words and yours as well caseface. I'm planning on doing something along those lines.
 
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