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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

(Opiates) - Retrospective - The long road of Addiction: 17 Y/O w/ many experiences

Waxitup said:
I have insurance And I am thinking about going to a clinic to start a methadone maintenance program to get off of H. If I seek help via methadone clinic will it permanently scar my medical history or forever label me as a drug abuser? I started my addiction to norco,oxy contin, and fentanyl patches after a Terrible car accident. I was cut off of my pain meds and resorted to using heroin. Will starting methadone put a bad mark on my medical history? Please help.


-wax
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Not really the place to answer that, you should start your own thread, maybe in Dark Side. I myself have been in a rehabilitation program in Germany and am now studying medicine at the very same clinic. A buddy studying with me was convicted for forging opioid prescriptions (!) and has been prescribed Bupe for 2 years. He's also becoming a doctor. lulz
That being said, I'd assume we'd both be fucked in case anyone stumbles across these bits of information...

I can't tell you anything about the laws and regulations in your country, but unless I'm applying for an insurance, medical records are kept pretty private over here, moreso than bank records.


@benzo_bars
I hope you manage to kick the opies altogether eventually. It can be a cold and lonely place out there for sure, but you know exactly opiates can't really change that. Not in the long run anyway. :/
 
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lazylazyjoe said:
@BBars. Been following you over at OD. Had no idea you been thru that much, that young. Quite an interesting story. Made me jealous I wasted my youth being good and productive.... I didn't even touch my first opiate until 24. Well, enjoy it while you're still young. Hope you work things out for yourself eventually.


The only fortunate thing for me waiting until after I had a career, house, wife, money, etc, to use, I got a feel for what it's like to function independently sober in the real world. If you're crazy and wreckless young, you really never get that experience. (Not that it's a good thing, mind you. Sober life in the real world is what drove me to use in the first place )
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The only fortunate thing for me waiting until after I had a career, house, wife, money, etc, to use, I got a feel for what it's like to function independently sober in the real world. If you're crazy and wreckless young, you really never get that experience. (Not that it's a good thing, mind you. Sober life in the real world is what drove me to use in the first place )[/QUOTE]
I've been through a lot and I really miss the first time I used marijuana. I used to get high and have fun with friends. That changed within the next year and I changed the way I looked at drugs...they weren't the fun experienced as much as a crutch for all my problems, an escape, a resort. I hope I can taper off Suboxone and maybe continue to smoke weed when my life starts to become independent and I become an adult.

@ Crook, Yeah I hope I can too but a part of me still lives to abuse opiates...
 
you gotta want it fella, hell im not gonan tell you what to do, i know its not the same but its like quitting cigs, why should i when i enjoy it, same with otehr drugs, i know it could be bad for me, but the good outwieghs the bad for now! only you can choose when teh bad is outweighing the good, i believe everyone has it in them to stop what theyre doing, they just have t owant it enough! you may never want it fella, but if you do, i have every safe feeling that you will suceed :) untill thhen, its just damage limitation as im sure you know! theres people you dont even know wishing you the best, there are always people that are willing to listen, to spend a little time trying to help :)
 
It's way too early to count yourself out here. You don't have a really big habit. You can quit and it won't be that bad, the main symptoms probably won't even last more than 3 or 4 days.

Don't fuck yourself by going on subs or methadone. You aren't shooting heroin, you aren't doing .5g/day oxycodone...there isn't a good reason to. Get dependent on subs or worse methadone and you'll be fucked, the withdrawal will last so much longer and make it way tougher to quit.

Ask yourself how you're going to continue taking opiates besides stealing them or the money to buy them...either way it's no way to live your life and will make you and everyone around you miserable. This whole post probably belongs in the darkside, check it out man, they'll be super supportive.

I just can't stress enough how small your habit is. This isn't dicksizing, I just think taking subs under your circumstances is insane. You sound like you can pretty much remember ever score. It sounds like you've done less than 2 or 3 grand worth of opiates in your lifetime. I know a ton of people here who would do anything to be in a position where they could still remember every score and hadn't wasted 100+ grand on opiates... I'm trying to help you avoid a brutal awakening when it's time to quite those subs you don't need.
 
kong said:
It's way too early to count yourself out here. You don't have a really big habit. You can quit and it won't be that bad, the main symptoms probably won't even last more than 3 or 4 days.

Don't fuck yourself by going on subs or methadone. You aren't shooting heroin, you aren't doing .5g/day oxycodone...there isn't a good reason to. Get dependent on subs or worse methadone and you'll be fucked, the withdrawal will last so much longer and make it way tougher to quit.

Ask yourself how you're going to continue taking opiates besides stealing them or the money to buy them...either way it's no way to live your life and will make you and everyone around you miserable. This whole post probably belongs in the darkside, check it out man, they'll be super supportive.

I just can't stress enough how small your habit is. This isn't dicksizing, I just think taking subs under your circumstances is insane. You sound like you can pretty much remember ever score. It sounds like you've done less than 2 or 3 grand worth of opiates in your lifetime. I know a ton of people here who would do anything to be in a position where they could still remember every score and hadn't wasted 100+ grand on opiates... I'm trying to help you avoid a brutal awakening when it's time to quite those subs you don't need.
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I was afraid to say anything like that because A I didn't wanna seem like I'm playing down or ridiculing what already seems like a bigger problem to you than you could've ever imagined and B I haven't been that far into opiate addiction myself, but kong has a valid point there. I second his recommendation of checking out the dark side forums, no other place on the net offers support like that. :)
A major opiate habit lies between 1000 and 4000 usd per month here in Hamburg if you rely on street sources btw...
 
kong said:
It's way too early to count yourself out here. You don't have a really big habit. You can quit and it won't be that bad, the main symptoms probably won't even last more than 3 or 4 days.

Don't fuck yourself by going on subs or methadone. You aren't shooting heroin, you aren't doing .5g/day oxycodone...there isn't a good reason to. Get dependent on subs or worse methadone and you'll be fucked, the withdrawal will last so much longer and make it way tougher to quit.

Ask yourself how you're going to continue taking opiates besides stealing them or the money to buy them...either way it's no way to live your life and will make you and everyone around you miserable. This whole post probably belongs in the darkside, check it out man, they'll be super supportive.

I just can't stress enough how small your habit is. This isn't dicksizing, I just think taking subs under your circumstances is insane. You sound like you can pretty much remember ever score. It sounds like you've done less than 2 or 3 grand worth of opiates in your lifetime. I know a ton of people here who would do anything to be in a position where they could still remember every score and hadn't wasted 100+ grand on opiates... I'm trying to help you avoid a brutal awakening when it's time to quite those subs you don't need.
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I got the point where I was shooting morphine almost every day, and just taking opiates in general for every day. It's been like that for about 2 years. If you think you know my withdrawals, that's great. They don't last 3-4 days. I can't even withstand a day...throwing up, sweating, shaking, hot and cold chills. I've definitely spend over 2 grand lmfao. One morphine pill cost $20, and 3 (which how many I was doing every day for about 5 months) cost $60. My 5 month habit alone cost over $9000, no 2-3 thousand. Maybe I didn't include enough in my report, but that's just the 5 months of morphine. The other 6 months was probably less but I don't need to go into how much I stole, robbed, jacked, and sold... and how much that was worth. I wouldn't go on Suboxone if I didn't believe I needed it. But you don't know me or my life besides a brief report.
 
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Double post sorry.
@ cr00k, I don't care about criticism but I think I should of been more honest in my report...like I said, I tried to convince myself that I wasn't a junky but just an addict. I guess now that I feel better about myself, Ill admit what a junky I was...
 
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benzo bars said:
Double post sorry.
@ cr00k, I don't care about criticism but I think I should of been more honest in my report...like I said, I tried to convince myself that I wasn't a junky but just an addict. I guess now that I feel better about myself, Ill admit what a junky I was...
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Noone is trying to criticize you man, he was just trying to tell you that there is a way out for you still.
 
benzo bars said:
I got the point where I was shooting morphine almost every day, and just taking opiates in general for every day. It's been like that for about 2 years. If you think you know my withdrawals, that's great. They don't last 3-4 days. I can't even withstand a day...throwing up, sweating, shaking, hot and cold chills. I've definitely spend over 2 grand lmfao. One morphine pill cost $20, and 3 (which how many I was doing every day for about 5 months) cost $60. My 5 month habit alone cost over $9000, no 2-3 thousand. Maybe I didn't include enough in my report, but that's just the 5 months of morphine. The other 6 months was probably less but I don't need to go into how much I stole, robbed, jacked, and sold... and how much that was worth. I wouldn't go on Suboxone if I didn't believe I needed it. But you don't know me or my life besides a brief report.
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That clears things up, suboxone is appropriate. Just going off your opening post it didn't seem like you'd been at it very long.
 
kong said:
That clears things up, suboxone is appropriate. Just going off your opening post it didn't seem like you'd been at it very long.
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Well hopefully I can taper off in the near future. Also this report was written a few months ago where as my habit was bad, but not as extreme as the last 2 months in which my dad noticed and scheduled me an appointment for a drug psychologist who then recommended Suboxone when he saw all my tracts.

Even now, I still wonder if I should be on it but I think it's appropriate. I do realize there are people much worse off then me and I think I'm fortunate where as I haven't done serious permanent damage, hopefully.

@ cr00k, I meant constructive criticism when you made point A, not in a negative way :P
 
KingoDJ said:
you gotta want it fella, hell im not gonan tell you what to do, i know its not the same but its like quitting cigs, why should i when i enjoy it, same with otehr drugs, i know it could be bad for me, but the good outwieghs the bad for now! only you can choose when teh bad is outweighing the good, i believe everyone has it in them to stop what theyre doing, they just have t owant it enough! you may never want it fella, but if you do, i have every safe feeling that you will suceed :) untill thhen, its just damage limitation as im sure you know! theres people you dont even know wishing you the best, there are always people that are willing to listen, to spend a little time trying to help :)
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Bad is definitely outweighing the good.
 
lazylazyjoe said:
The problem comes with a federal law called HIPAA. It determines who has access to your medical records and who doesn't. Here are the list of people who are allowed complete access to your medical history from your doctor.
  • life insurers,
  • employers,
  • workers compensation carriers,
  • many schools and school districts,
  • many state agencies like child protective service agencies,
  • many law enforcement agencies,
  • many municipal offices.
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Wtf when was that passed??
 
Dude I agree with Kong. "The Long Road of Opiate Addiction" is a bit of a stretch to title this write-up. 2 years isn't a long time in the scheme of things. Being able to steal from your own parents doesn't make you hardcore. And "jacking" some 16 year old for $20 dollars worth of hyrdocodon doesn't make you tough, it makes you a dick. I'm not trying to be negative towards you, I just feel like you were writing this in a style that glamorizes your past. This was written in a way that made it seem more like you were writing to impress than to inform.

If you spend some more time on the board you'll see stories that are a little more shocking. Try to get help now so you don't find out how bad it can actually get.
 
It had to be said eventually. Not sure if you'll reach him with those words though. I know how I used to glamorize my vast drug experience, especially during my first years of therapy. It was only through time that the inner conflict grew bigger and bigger, the glamour slowly fading and the self hatred and desperation slowly growing. To me it still seems like a cry for help, but pity will not be gained like that when you are simultaneously saying that you have to keep using. At some point the discomfort, the strain on your health, the costs on a social level etc. will grow large enough for you to honestly try to quit. Before that has happened, the benefit of a H habit clearly outweigh the costs, even if you are denying that. People choose survival strategies that have worked in the past and you might not have fully realized that what you are doing simply isn't working. I can only agree to checking out the dark side forums for actual support. If you really wanna quit though, you should not plan to go on substitution/maintenance imho. Albert Einstein once said that a problem cannot be solved on the same level it was created on. Substances won't cure you from substance dependence.
 
@@lazyjoe HIPPA laws do not grant employers access to medical records.

It is also against the law for employers to hire/fire based on medical examinations / genetic testing.

Employers usually obtain medical information about their employees by asking employees to authorize disclosure of medical records.
 
ChronicHD said:
Dude I agree with Kong. "The Long Road of Opiate Addiction" is a bit of a stretch to title this write-up. 2 years isn't a long time in the scheme of things. Being able to steal from your own parents doesn't make you hardcore. And "jacking" some 16 year old for $20 dollars worth of hyrdocodon doesn't make you tough, it makes you a dick. I'm not trying to be negative towards you, I just feel like you were writing this in a style that glamorizes your past. This was written in a way that made it seem more like you were writing to impress than to inform.

If you spend some more time on the board you'll see stories that are a little more shocking. Try to get help now so you don't find out how bad it can actually get.
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I was writing in the way that I thought at the time.
 
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