benzo bars
Bluelighter
To start off, this isn't one experiences but more of a long experience of Opiate and drug usage. This is a long report explaining how I started and where I am present day. Enjoy 
I am a 17 almost 18 year old male with a few years of drug abuse history but more importantly, opiate abuse. This report is more than just one experience, it's what my life has been like for the past few months. I started smoking weed at the age of 15 when I was a freshman in high school. I also did a few pills that people would give me for free such as Xanax, Klonopins, Valium, Somas, and Ambien. I did them rarely but by the end of the year I was full blown stoner. With drugs comes trouble and that's what really caused my spiral down to where I am now.
Through my sophomore and junior year of highschool I was moved between Texas and Indiana to my moms and dads house. The second time I moved to Texas was when I really started using harder drugs, especially opiates. It was towards the end of summer before my Sophomore year and I had just moved to Texas for the second time around. I found some bottles of my step dads painkillers. I found 7.5/700mg Hydrocodone/Acetaminophen APAP. I remember the imprint on the pill to this day; “M360” He had 3 bottles of those and two bottles of 10/650mg Percocets.(I found out later that my step-dad didn't believe in taking pills which explains the 5 bottles of painkillers that he had acquired over time).
I had always wanted to try pain killers but just never got the chance. I was ecstatic. I replaced 15 of the hydrocdone with similar looking Tylenol and started out by snorting 3 being the drug abuser I am. My warm blood flowed through every part of my body. I melted back into my desk chair looking at the remaining layer of powder that was railed just 15 minutes ago. For the first time, I liked a drug more than weed. I was in love. I was itching my skin clean off and nodding off...all the normal side effects of opiate usage. I ended up getting two more prescriptions of Hydrocodone from the dentist towards the very end of summer. Little did I know that I was going down a path that would fuck up my Sophomore year of highschool.
By the time school started I was partying with all my friends I had made the previous year when I moved to Texas for the first time. I was rolling (Ecstasy) every weekend and abusing painkillers like no other. Since I lived by Dallas, drugs were easy to obtain and cheaper if you knew the right people. I started buying Promethazine/Codeine cough syrup. While at parties I would make sizzurp which is simply putting the syrup into a carbonated beverage (usually sprite) and adding jolly ranches. To make it official, some rappers like Lil Wayne and Boosie will put it in a Styrofoam cup. Google “sizzurp” for more info. I would usually be rolling while sipping on my sizzurp and I would also take the Percocets. It just so happened that I ran out of my Hydrocodones before I moved to the Percocets and I didn't know that Oxycodone was stronger so it was to my advantage being that I had gained a tolerance from abusing the Hydrocodones and syrup.
The second week of school I was sent to a discipline center for getting into a fight with a teacher. Of course I was on opiates when they piss tested me but the teacher laid his hands on me first, so assault charges were dropped. They didn't do shit about the drug test. I was sentenced 45 days at the alternative discipline school. I think those days were the most fun out of my time in Texas. I had just started taking the Oxys around the time I was sent there. The place was actually really fun. I knew a lot of people from my school there and the school days were fairly short (7am-1pm). I would stay up all night with friends while fucked up on Oxys just talking about anything while smoking weed. My friends and I would smoke before school and after. Every day at the school I would pop 1 or 2 in the morning and put 1 or 2 pills in a slit in my boxer because they searched our uniform and shoes/socks. At restroom break I would pop one although they would watch us piss but I would keep it in my mouth until I was able to ask them to get a drink. By lunch time I would be posted and content. I would do all my school work while answering questions if the class was on my criteria of work. After school I would just hang out with friends while smoking and taking more Oxys. I found a connect for Oxys within another few weeks because most people were at the discipline center for drugs. Weekends didn't change one bit. I would roll my nuts off and sip on sizzurp. My life only stays good for a few months at any given time before I usually get into trouble and its been a predictable trend my whole life.
On a Sunday night around 4 weeks after I was first sent to the discipline center I was home alone and I found a bottle of 18 .5mg Klonopin (Clonazepam) in my moms room while looking in hope to find some of her painkillers. I eventually found a bottle of good Hydrocodone too. I say good because they are the ones with the lowest acetaminophen content and the highest Hydrocodone content; the 10/325 Hydrocodone/Acetaminophen APAP with the imprint 36 01 V made by Qualitest.
Anyway, that night I ended up taking 6 (3mg) of the Klonopin. I found out the hard way throughout my years that I CANNOT take benzos (Benzodiazepines). My mind became corrupt after the very first one entered my body. I ended up taking the other 12mg because my mom told me to do a chore and that apparently upset me (usually I am a good kid and do what is asked of me). I was completely blacked out and everything I tell you about this event was told to me later by my mother and step-dad. Later that night my parents got into a fight and I had to drive my mom to the hospital. I took 3 hydrocdone with me. Shit got bad. When my mom got prescribed to Hydrocodone for hurting her wrist while punching my step-dad, I flew into a rage and screamed to the doctors asking them why she gets Hydrocodone and they won't give me any. Keep in mind that I was on 9mg of Klonopin. They admitted me as they could tell I was barred out. I apparently even took the 3 Hydrocodone right in front of the doctors and nurses. I ended up running away from the hospital around 3am and walking home in bare feet and a gown. That was the first time that benzos took control of my life.
I woke up the following Tuesday and still had large amounts of the drug in my system. I still was convinced that I NEEDED painkillers in which I stole my mom's car and drove to the emergency room screaming that my nuts hurt (I read online that you can fake an infection in your scrotum and the doctors have no way to prove you have it but will prescribe painkillers). A cop came and talked to me both because he was called about me stealing the car and he was working at the hospital and remembered me from the previous incident two days earlier. I got into a lot of trouble but I was actually prescribed 30 5/500mg of Hydrocodone and still had many Oxys left. I kept getting lucky with the painkillers and I knew damn well that the moment I stopped taking them I would be thrown into withdrawals.
I felt better then ever. I continued to take my Hydrocodone prescription, my step-dads Oxy prescription, and my moms new and previous prescription that I found on Sunday night. I was getting posted every day for about a month and a half. I eventually even got my doctor to prescribe me Klonopin for my fake “panic attacks”.
About two weeks after I was prescribed the Klonopins, I was admitted to a mental ward for overdosing on Klonopin, again. I stayed in that place for 6 days but it was fun as fuck. Everyone there was like me, a crazy teenager that does drugs. We would receive our pills from the nurse and cheek them (putting them under our cheek so when the nurses check our mouth to see if we had taken them, we can hide them) and then go back to our rooms and snort them. A lot of us were prescribed to some heavy shit, including me. They weened me off Klonopin and by the 4th day at the hospital, I was completely off. That didn't change one bit when I got out of the ward, I still bought weed and benzos because I didn't have to spend money on opiates. But shit soon changed again.
By the time the first semester of my junior year ended, my dad wanted me back in Indiana because his girlfriend had just moved in and he believed that he could control me better with two “guardians”. This was the most devastating move out of the total of 4 times I moved. I loved my friends, family, school, and overall surrounding of Texas. I had just gotten used to the second change that my dad put me through. I don't ever remember being more upset at my dad in my life. The next 4 months of my life leads to present day where I am still heavily abusing painkillers.
The first night I moved back to Indiana, I found a prescription in my dad's work bag of 6 7.5/700mg Hydrocodone(The second time I found the same prescription for the first time in a house ha). I took 3 so I would have another 3 for the next day or so. He found out that I took them and was furious. He got a new prescription of 30 5/500mg Vicodin the next day. I took all of them. I took 10 the first night. The next day when he saw his empty bottle he took me to another inpatient mental ward and threatened to admit me. He didn't though.
That next week I started attending my old school. I was prescribed to 2mg of Xanax(Alprazolam) because my dad didn't know what it was and I told him it would help with my anxiety (which I really did have) from moving back. Also my doctor in Indiana knew me very well and we were close, so he was willing to help me in anyway possible.
That first week I found a kid with around 20 Hydrocodone (5/500mg) and around 7 Darvon (Propoxyphene/Acetaminophen). I don't recall the mg of the Darvon. I didn't have much money so I asked my friend to borrow a $20 real quick. The kid gave me all the pills while I had the money in my hand. I popped 10 Hydrocodone right at that instant and gave the $20 back to the kid I borrowed it from. I told the dealer that I'm jacking him because I knew he was a pussy. I told him if he boxed me and won then he could have them back. He begged but I didn't give them back. He was convinced that I was just fucking with him, but I wasn't. I became more of an asshole and I think I grew a pair while staying at Texas because I jacked a few more people here and there for money and pills.
I honestly didn't give a fuck and would do anything to control my addiction. They kept me good for another 5-6 days. The day before Christmas break I found a kid with a water bottle full of 200mg of liquid Hydrocodone that he had extracted using the cold water extraction (CWE) method. I quickly bought it and got COMPLETELY fucked for 2 days straight. During school days, I would save my Xanax until I had 3-4 and would pop them all together on one day. Needless to say, I barely remember much from the first few weeks of school.
Like always trouble came calling on Christmas eve when I had received 100 10mg Valium that I had ordered online. That same day, I found a prescription of my sisters 2mg Ativan (Lorazepam). I took all 6 and later that night I took 10 Valium because like always, my mind gets corrupt while I'm on benzos and I tend to just binge. That night I ended up beating the fuck out of my dad, but I was blacked out so bad that I don't recall getting arrested or getting admitted to a mental ward, again. I didn't even come to until the second day in the hospital. I was eventually released 6 days later and I vowed that I would either completely stop benzos or do them responsibly. I'm not the type of person that would hit my dad. I take his hits if he's mad at me, and I believe that's how it's supposed to be. That incident burned some bridges between my dad and I but we have made up since which I'll explain in a bit.
When I got out I went to my same habit as I was suffering from severe withdrawals. I found myself buying quantities of 30-50 Hydrocodone or Vicodin at any given time and taking more than 10 to even get high. A month passed and I ran out of the small time connects but had worked my way up and I quickly found people with Oxycodone. Around the same time I was legitimately prescribed Hydrocodone for 2 weeks with 3 separate prescriptions because I had received multiple root canals. Also around that time I was put on a drug waiver at school for getting high at school. The school was going to start testing me every few weeks. I was a dumbass. I figured I could get away with abusing drugs because of my prescription.
I started abusing Oxycodone daily up to 180mg a day. Around a month or so after I found a very reliable connect for 100mg morphines. I knew 3-4 people with Oxycodone....one always had it but they would BS a lot so when I bought I would try to buy as many as possible in case they would fall through the next time I needed. The problem was that I had to spent over $300 to be able to get a good bulk discount on Oxys.
I have never loved something more than morphine. I would melt day after day. I couldn't get enough of the12-24 hour lasting downer that put me in the most peaceful bliss. I live to eat, sleep, and breathe morphine. I loved Morhpine 5x better than any painkiller because it lasted so long although it wasn't as strong as the initial rush that Oxycodone provided. It has taken over my life. I sell my adderal and have stolen hundreds of dollars out of my dads wallet. He'll take out $400 at any given time and I can take up 60-90 a week without him noticing much. I took out a loan from the local loan shark at school, the kid is a fuck. I borrowed 600$ from him. That would prove to last me quite some time. At the time I found another very reliable connect for the new OP Oxycontin. If you know how they work, then you probably hate them like me(They are non-abusable and can't be injected or snorted like the original Oxycontin). The only good thing about the OPs was the fact that a 80mg OP would cost much less where as the original 80mg OCs would be double the price. The price was greatly reduced because of the OPs downside of being non-abusable. Luckily, my other connect with morphine new how to cook the OPs to get around the non-abuse mechanism in the pill to make them abusable.
I had bought around 70 60mg OPs and my connect traded me for 50 100mg morphine which is a good deal. I would be set for another month and a half I thought to myself. That day was one of the happiest days of my life. That following weekend, me and and my friend cooked up the Morphine and IV'd it. We shared a needle and tried to use bleach and rubbing alcohol to disinfect it. My addiction allowed me to give two shits less about whether I would obtain STD's or any blood disease. Regardless, I IV'd second so I still could of gotten anything. Another problem was the size of the needle as it was way to big. I was a bit sketched at first about overdosing because I was already on 180mg of the OP that my friend had cooked for me and 100mg of Morphine that I had taken a few hours earlier. That didn't stop me. I didn't need a tourniquet as I have very good veins. I took the liquid from the cotton ball and into my rig, flicked it a couple times, and released the air. I hit my vein but the vein rolled. I pulled out and tried a second time. I hit it again the second time, drew the blood, and slowly let the liquid flow through my veins. I can't explain any opiate experience more pure than this. The “pins and needles” rush was unbelievable. I felt like I was having a woman’s orgasm (I heard somewhere that female orgasm's are 10x better than male orgasms). I also felt like the world was a perfect place to be living in. All my anxiety, depression, and nostalgia from Texas was gone. The nostalgia was rarely cured by any painkillers and when I realized how much fun I was having here, I didn't care about Texas. My body felt emerged in what people commonly explain as a warm fuzzy blanket. I couldn't explain it better myself. I only was able to stay up for around 2-3 hours of the most amazing time of my life.
That was about a month ago. Since then I have only IV'd one other time with the same friend and the experience was just as blissful. Around that same time I was drug tested at my school. During the drop, I was on 300mg of morphine. About a week later the results came back and although I still had the prescription from a month and half ago, I came up for 16000ug of Morphine where as the cutoff limit for coming up positive is 1000ug. There's no way that hydrocdone or even Oxycodone will come up with that high of content in my urine. My school dean explained that I had a level 8 or 9 testing limit for opiates which apparently meant that I was clearly abusing morphine. My dad was actually very chill about it but we all knew I was going to get expelled. Two days later, I was called down and I was expelled.
I have continued to abuse the Morphine that I still have but I have never felt so upset with myself. I was actually set to graduate this year, a year earlier then my classmates. I fucked it up though. I've been binging on 300-400mg of Morphine along with Oxycodone daily and nightly. Recently I have been running out of money. During school I could buy a large quantity of pain killers, sell a few here and there and make some money to buy more. I would sell some adderal, and obtain $5 cash for lunch money each day. It may not sound like much, but when I used it right I was able to keep my addiction fed and withdrawals under control. Plus without a license, it was easier to deal at school. I started pawning almost anything worth value to be able to support my habit. It helped me for a while but I quickly ran out of things to pawn.
I was recently taken to a drug psychologist because I admitted my addiction to painkillers to my dad and told him I could no longer get the money unless I kept stealing. I can't stand the guilty feeling of stealing from family members. I missed school so much and I couldn't believe how much I took advantage of what I had. I missed my old friendships that I had that didn't rely on hard drugs. I miss my normal life. My reality while being high on opiates has become normal and while sober becomes abnormal. My psychologist recommended Suboxone. It is an opiate dependance medication similar to Methadone but with an antagonist binded with it to prevent abuse of the pill itself and the abuse of other opiate painkillers.
I have tried to obtain heroin but it is just so damn expensive around here. Maybe that's a good thing.
All I can say is that I LOVE opiates but have no regret about starting to use and abuse them. I really have no problem with using them the rest of my life but I don't think I could live a healthy, normal lifestyle. I will update this in a few days when I am prescribed to Suboxone. Until then, I am enjoying my 120mg of plugged OP, my plugged tripple stack X, and 50mg of IV'd morphine.
Stay posted my friends
I am a 17 almost 18 year old male with a few years of drug abuse history but more importantly, opiate abuse. This report is more than just one experience, it's what my life has been like for the past few months. I started smoking weed at the age of 15 when I was a freshman in high school. I also did a few pills that people would give me for free such as Xanax, Klonopins, Valium, Somas, and Ambien. I did them rarely but by the end of the year I was full blown stoner. With drugs comes trouble and that's what really caused my spiral down to where I am now.
Through my sophomore and junior year of highschool I was moved between Texas and Indiana to my moms and dads house. The second time I moved to Texas was when I really started using harder drugs, especially opiates. It was towards the end of summer before my Sophomore year and I had just moved to Texas for the second time around. I found some bottles of my step dads painkillers. I found 7.5/700mg Hydrocodone/Acetaminophen APAP. I remember the imprint on the pill to this day; “M360” He had 3 bottles of those and two bottles of 10/650mg Percocets.(I found out later that my step-dad didn't believe in taking pills which explains the 5 bottles of painkillers that he had acquired over time).
I had always wanted to try pain killers but just never got the chance. I was ecstatic. I replaced 15 of the hydrocdone with similar looking Tylenol and started out by snorting 3 being the drug abuser I am. My warm blood flowed through every part of my body. I melted back into my desk chair looking at the remaining layer of powder that was railed just 15 minutes ago. For the first time, I liked a drug more than weed. I was in love. I was itching my skin clean off and nodding off...all the normal side effects of opiate usage. I ended up getting two more prescriptions of Hydrocodone from the dentist towards the very end of summer. Little did I know that I was going down a path that would fuck up my Sophomore year of highschool.
By the time school started I was partying with all my friends I had made the previous year when I moved to Texas for the first time. I was rolling (Ecstasy) every weekend and abusing painkillers like no other. Since I lived by Dallas, drugs were easy to obtain and cheaper if you knew the right people. I started buying Promethazine/Codeine cough syrup. While at parties I would make sizzurp which is simply putting the syrup into a carbonated beverage (usually sprite) and adding jolly ranches. To make it official, some rappers like Lil Wayne and Boosie will put it in a Styrofoam cup. Google “sizzurp” for more info. I would usually be rolling while sipping on my sizzurp and I would also take the Percocets. It just so happened that I ran out of my Hydrocodones before I moved to the Percocets and I didn't know that Oxycodone was stronger so it was to my advantage being that I had gained a tolerance from abusing the Hydrocodones and syrup.
The second week of school I was sent to a discipline center for getting into a fight with a teacher. Of course I was on opiates when they piss tested me but the teacher laid his hands on me first, so assault charges were dropped. They didn't do shit about the drug test. I was sentenced 45 days at the alternative discipline school. I think those days were the most fun out of my time in Texas. I had just started taking the Oxys around the time I was sent there. The place was actually really fun. I knew a lot of people from my school there and the school days were fairly short (7am-1pm). I would stay up all night with friends while fucked up on Oxys just talking about anything while smoking weed. My friends and I would smoke before school and after. Every day at the school I would pop 1 or 2 in the morning and put 1 or 2 pills in a slit in my boxer because they searched our uniform and shoes/socks. At restroom break I would pop one although they would watch us piss but I would keep it in my mouth until I was able to ask them to get a drink. By lunch time I would be posted and content. I would do all my school work while answering questions if the class was on my criteria of work. After school I would just hang out with friends while smoking and taking more Oxys. I found a connect for Oxys within another few weeks because most people were at the discipline center for drugs. Weekends didn't change one bit. I would roll my nuts off and sip on sizzurp. My life only stays good for a few months at any given time before I usually get into trouble and its been a predictable trend my whole life.
On a Sunday night around 4 weeks after I was first sent to the discipline center I was home alone and I found a bottle of 18 .5mg Klonopin (Clonazepam) in my moms room while looking in hope to find some of her painkillers. I eventually found a bottle of good Hydrocodone too. I say good because they are the ones with the lowest acetaminophen content and the highest Hydrocodone content; the 10/325 Hydrocodone/Acetaminophen APAP with the imprint 36 01 V made by Qualitest.
Anyway, that night I ended up taking 6 (3mg) of the Klonopin. I found out the hard way throughout my years that I CANNOT take benzos (Benzodiazepines). My mind became corrupt after the very first one entered my body. I ended up taking the other 12mg because my mom told me to do a chore and that apparently upset me (usually I am a good kid and do what is asked of me). I was completely blacked out and everything I tell you about this event was told to me later by my mother and step-dad. Later that night my parents got into a fight and I had to drive my mom to the hospital. I took 3 hydrocdone with me. Shit got bad. When my mom got prescribed to Hydrocodone for hurting her wrist while punching my step-dad, I flew into a rage and screamed to the doctors asking them why she gets Hydrocodone and they won't give me any. Keep in mind that I was on 9mg of Klonopin. They admitted me as they could tell I was barred out. I apparently even took the 3 Hydrocodone right in front of the doctors and nurses. I ended up running away from the hospital around 3am and walking home in bare feet and a gown. That was the first time that benzos took control of my life.
I woke up the following Tuesday and still had large amounts of the drug in my system. I still was convinced that I NEEDED painkillers in which I stole my mom's car and drove to the emergency room screaming that my nuts hurt (I read online that you can fake an infection in your scrotum and the doctors have no way to prove you have it but will prescribe painkillers). A cop came and talked to me both because he was called about me stealing the car and he was working at the hospital and remembered me from the previous incident two days earlier. I got into a lot of trouble but I was actually prescribed 30 5/500mg of Hydrocodone and still had many Oxys left. I kept getting lucky with the painkillers and I knew damn well that the moment I stopped taking them I would be thrown into withdrawals.
I felt better then ever. I continued to take my Hydrocodone prescription, my step-dads Oxy prescription, and my moms new and previous prescription that I found on Sunday night. I was getting posted every day for about a month and a half. I eventually even got my doctor to prescribe me Klonopin for my fake “panic attacks”.
About two weeks after I was prescribed the Klonopins, I was admitted to a mental ward for overdosing on Klonopin, again. I stayed in that place for 6 days but it was fun as fuck. Everyone there was like me, a crazy teenager that does drugs. We would receive our pills from the nurse and cheek them (putting them under our cheek so when the nurses check our mouth to see if we had taken them, we can hide them) and then go back to our rooms and snort them. A lot of us were prescribed to some heavy shit, including me. They weened me off Klonopin and by the 4th day at the hospital, I was completely off. That didn't change one bit when I got out of the ward, I still bought weed and benzos because I didn't have to spend money on opiates. But shit soon changed again.
By the time the first semester of my junior year ended, my dad wanted me back in Indiana because his girlfriend had just moved in and he believed that he could control me better with two “guardians”. This was the most devastating move out of the total of 4 times I moved. I loved my friends, family, school, and overall surrounding of Texas. I had just gotten used to the second change that my dad put me through. I don't ever remember being more upset at my dad in my life. The next 4 months of my life leads to present day where I am still heavily abusing painkillers.
The first night I moved back to Indiana, I found a prescription in my dad's work bag of 6 7.5/700mg Hydrocodone(The second time I found the same prescription for the first time in a house ha). I took 3 so I would have another 3 for the next day or so. He found out that I took them and was furious. He got a new prescription of 30 5/500mg Vicodin the next day. I took all of them. I took 10 the first night. The next day when he saw his empty bottle he took me to another inpatient mental ward and threatened to admit me. He didn't though.
That next week I started attending my old school. I was prescribed to 2mg of Xanax(Alprazolam) because my dad didn't know what it was and I told him it would help with my anxiety (which I really did have) from moving back. Also my doctor in Indiana knew me very well and we were close, so he was willing to help me in anyway possible.
That first week I found a kid with around 20 Hydrocodone (5/500mg) and around 7 Darvon (Propoxyphene/Acetaminophen). I don't recall the mg of the Darvon. I didn't have much money so I asked my friend to borrow a $20 real quick. The kid gave me all the pills while I had the money in my hand. I popped 10 Hydrocodone right at that instant and gave the $20 back to the kid I borrowed it from. I told the dealer that I'm jacking him because I knew he was a pussy. I told him if he boxed me and won then he could have them back. He begged but I didn't give them back. He was convinced that I was just fucking with him, but I wasn't. I became more of an asshole and I think I grew a pair while staying at Texas because I jacked a few more people here and there for money and pills.
I honestly didn't give a fuck and would do anything to control my addiction. They kept me good for another 5-6 days. The day before Christmas break I found a kid with a water bottle full of 200mg of liquid Hydrocodone that he had extracted using the cold water extraction (CWE) method. I quickly bought it and got COMPLETELY fucked for 2 days straight. During school days, I would save my Xanax until I had 3-4 and would pop them all together on one day. Needless to say, I barely remember much from the first few weeks of school.
Like always trouble came calling on Christmas eve when I had received 100 10mg Valium that I had ordered online. That same day, I found a prescription of my sisters 2mg Ativan (Lorazepam). I took all 6 and later that night I took 10 Valium because like always, my mind gets corrupt while I'm on benzos and I tend to just binge. That night I ended up beating the fuck out of my dad, but I was blacked out so bad that I don't recall getting arrested or getting admitted to a mental ward, again. I didn't even come to until the second day in the hospital. I was eventually released 6 days later and I vowed that I would either completely stop benzos or do them responsibly. I'm not the type of person that would hit my dad. I take his hits if he's mad at me, and I believe that's how it's supposed to be. That incident burned some bridges between my dad and I but we have made up since which I'll explain in a bit.
When I got out I went to my same habit as I was suffering from severe withdrawals. I found myself buying quantities of 30-50 Hydrocodone or Vicodin at any given time and taking more than 10 to even get high. A month passed and I ran out of the small time connects but had worked my way up and I quickly found people with Oxycodone. Around the same time I was legitimately prescribed Hydrocodone for 2 weeks with 3 separate prescriptions because I had received multiple root canals. Also around that time I was put on a drug waiver at school for getting high at school. The school was going to start testing me every few weeks. I was a dumbass. I figured I could get away with abusing drugs because of my prescription.
I started abusing Oxycodone daily up to 180mg a day. Around a month or so after I found a very reliable connect for 100mg morphines. I knew 3-4 people with Oxycodone....one always had it but they would BS a lot so when I bought I would try to buy as many as possible in case they would fall through the next time I needed. The problem was that I had to spent over $300 to be able to get a good bulk discount on Oxys.
I have never loved something more than morphine. I would melt day after day. I couldn't get enough of the12-24 hour lasting downer that put me in the most peaceful bliss. I live to eat, sleep, and breathe morphine. I loved Morhpine 5x better than any painkiller because it lasted so long although it wasn't as strong as the initial rush that Oxycodone provided. It has taken over my life. I sell my adderal and have stolen hundreds of dollars out of my dads wallet. He'll take out $400 at any given time and I can take up 60-90 a week without him noticing much. I took out a loan from the local loan shark at school, the kid is a fuck. I borrowed 600$ from him. That would prove to last me quite some time. At the time I found another very reliable connect for the new OP Oxycontin. If you know how they work, then you probably hate them like me(They are non-abusable and can't be injected or snorted like the original Oxycontin). The only good thing about the OPs was the fact that a 80mg OP would cost much less where as the original 80mg OCs would be double the price. The price was greatly reduced because of the OPs downside of being non-abusable. Luckily, my other connect with morphine new how to cook the OPs to get around the non-abuse mechanism in the pill to make them abusable.
I had bought around 70 60mg OPs and my connect traded me for 50 100mg morphine which is a good deal. I would be set for another month and a half I thought to myself. That day was one of the happiest days of my life. That following weekend, me and and my friend cooked up the Morphine and IV'd it. We shared a needle and tried to use bleach and rubbing alcohol to disinfect it. My addiction allowed me to give two shits less about whether I would obtain STD's or any blood disease. Regardless, I IV'd second so I still could of gotten anything. Another problem was the size of the needle as it was way to big. I was a bit sketched at first about overdosing because I was already on 180mg of the OP that my friend had cooked for me and 100mg of Morphine that I had taken a few hours earlier. That didn't stop me. I didn't need a tourniquet as I have very good veins. I took the liquid from the cotton ball and into my rig, flicked it a couple times, and released the air. I hit my vein but the vein rolled. I pulled out and tried a second time. I hit it again the second time, drew the blood, and slowly let the liquid flow through my veins. I can't explain any opiate experience more pure than this. The “pins and needles” rush was unbelievable. I felt like I was having a woman’s orgasm (I heard somewhere that female orgasm's are 10x better than male orgasms). I also felt like the world was a perfect place to be living in. All my anxiety, depression, and nostalgia from Texas was gone. The nostalgia was rarely cured by any painkillers and when I realized how much fun I was having here, I didn't care about Texas. My body felt emerged in what people commonly explain as a warm fuzzy blanket. I couldn't explain it better myself. I only was able to stay up for around 2-3 hours of the most amazing time of my life.
That was about a month ago. Since then I have only IV'd one other time with the same friend and the experience was just as blissful. Around that same time I was drug tested at my school. During the drop, I was on 300mg of morphine. About a week later the results came back and although I still had the prescription from a month and half ago, I came up for 16000ug of Morphine where as the cutoff limit for coming up positive is 1000ug. There's no way that hydrocdone or even Oxycodone will come up with that high of content in my urine. My school dean explained that I had a level 8 or 9 testing limit for opiates which apparently meant that I was clearly abusing morphine. My dad was actually very chill about it but we all knew I was going to get expelled. Two days later, I was called down and I was expelled.
I have continued to abuse the Morphine that I still have but I have never felt so upset with myself. I was actually set to graduate this year, a year earlier then my classmates. I fucked it up though. I've been binging on 300-400mg of Morphine along with Oxycodone daily and nightly. Recently I have been running out of money. During school I could buy a large quantity of pain killers, sell a few here and there and make some money to buy more. I would sell some adderal, and obtain $5 cash for lunch money each day. It may not sound like much, but when I used it right I was able to keep my addiction fed and withdrawals under control. Plus without a license, it was easier to deal at school. I started pawning almost anything worth value to be able to support my habit. It helped me for a while but I quickly ran out of things to pawn.
I was recently taken to a drug psychologist because I admitted my addiction to painkillers to my dad and told him I could no longer get the money unless I kept stealing. I can't stand the guilty feeling of stealing from family members. I missed school so much and I couldn't believe how much I took advantage of what I had. I missed my old friendships that I had that didn't rely on hard drugs. I miss my normal life. My reality while being high on opiates has become normal and while sober becomes abnormal. My psychologist recommended Suboxone. It is an opiate dependance medication similar to Methadone but with an antagonist binded with it to prevent abuse of the pill itself and the abuse of other opiate painkillers.
I have tried to obtain heroin but it is just so damn expensive around here. Maybe that's a good thing.
All I can say is that I LOVE opiates but have no regret about starting to use and abuse them. I really have no problem with using them the rest of my life but I don't think I could live a healthy, normal lifestyle. I will update this in a few days when I am prescribed to Suboxone. Until then, I am enjoying my 120mg of plugged OP, my plugged tripple stack X, and 50mg of IV'd morphine.
Stay posted my friends
Last edited by a moderator:
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
hope you don't start with heroin though... Us young kids need to learn how to slow down sometimes I think. Things can get fucked quick but yeah good read.
