Really nice to read.
I'm at beginning now, more specifically at the edge ... I feel that I'll not hold the balance for long time to stay there .... at one side is bottomless abyss where my life is "all right, socialized, easy to communicate, enjoyable and etc..." at second is my "normal depressive chewed daily life routine"

.... with my girlfriend, well-paid work, happy family life and lot of ambitions....when I first time heard about opiates and the addiction to them (deeply), it was at high school .... I was laughing when I read/heard about people who shoot H first time IV and "get addicted" instantly .... it seem so impossible for me, nothing can't be that bad to hook u first time so badly..... later I'd realized that how much I was wrong and naive ....
No one who never tried opiates, cannot feel that "feeling" from doing them, I said "feeling" cause I don't wanna describe general euphoria and the sweet well-being on them, for me it's just that good feeling like for everyone else who tried them .... we all got our personal feelings
I first tried 5/325 Norco for my toothache (I was very long time panicly afraid of dentist so when I realised that I need to go to dentist in my life, it was too late for conventional teeth warfare, lot of teeth must go out and I developed chronic pain....I lived for next 7 years with holding that pain with combination of NSAID, APAP and other conventional painkiller warfare and with my will of course, I never speak about it with my doc cause I was just afraid), got it from friend who had it for backpain...I don't feel any high at the first time after pop, I was just without pain, after 7 years, it was seem impossible, I didn't wanna to belive it...at this stage I wasn't aware about opiates like a medication ... I knew opiates as a final step in drug abuse and self-destroing habitation with IV ROA as was doing disgusting "junkies" at railway station .... I NEVER can imagine doing something like this in my whole life, it's disgusting for me and I have panic fear of needles..(for now) ..... during last 2 weeks I was imagined me in that situation X times, even worse as I slowly reading all experiences/withdrawals at forums....it's realy fast and I really don't wanna speak about rationalizations :'( that's something what realy crawls me and tearing my brain and soul to pieces .... sadly, really
So when the pain comes back after 8-10 hours and painless night with the best sleep ever... u all must know, the pain was worse, I was like: why I have to live with pain if I can get those pills? About 1 hour after waking up, phone rings and it was my pill friend, he asked about pain, if it was helpfull and if I want some more just for sure to have, he was aware of my toothache and lack of medication....so we had a coffee, some cigs at dogwalk and I was at route to home with 10 5/325 Norcos and 3 5/xxx Percos....It was calmy Friday evening and I was full of sights of painless weekend, chill out with beloved gf and new life ..... what a trap
So....I pop one Norco and again enjoying the painless times, still fully "unaware" of true side and pottency of opioids, it holds until Sunday morning and I didn't pop another cause NSAIDs,APAP and OTC stuff was working perfectly now after that weekend, I saw it like another stronger painkiller which I using occasionaly for breakthrough pain....during week I did not think about them, I was thinking about painless life and realised that I can go to doc to ask about it, I can go to dentist to ask about it... at the Friday evening next weekend I pop another Norco and preparing myself for another chill out .... after about 90 minutes nothing happened and I started to feel afraid that it will not work cause that I don't have much OTC stuff that day and I pop it after dinner, not on empty stomach....and THERE is it my friends, THERE it comes, I popped 2 more Norcos bout 1h40m after first, and always better be sure... so after next 20 mins (pain and inner crawling for my Friday evening reward after hard week in work was graduating) I popped next one... so it was 5 mg + 15mg that evening......after approx 3 hours after first candy I felt in love, I just found the opioid high at his fully scale how's it suppose be .... after 2 hours I take 1 more, after next 2 hours I take one more ..... Sunday morning I was out of Norcos, just Percos left, they still in drawer, safely now but I know they waiting patiently for the right time.
I don't wanna throw them away for now....I can't, maybe one day I'll need them (sounds kinda familiar to lot of you isn't?)
So now as been told at beginning, I'm on the edge, I don't have any more of them (except that hidden sneaky Percos), but I can easily get them.....and I still remember how it's be without pain and now I got burned this down deep in my brain and body, that sensual euphoric uplifting opiate high what I felt that evening and next day....I'm not naive drug user who just shooting everything what I obtain, again just for now I'm very sophisticated person, I doing lot of deep thinking and logic questions of my life, lot of understanding about the world and of all beings around ... I did some drugs recreationaly past time (stims,pot,LSD,MDMA,shrooms,salvia,benzos and DXM) but nothing of that is like pharms for me, it's totally different world what I found

(again sadly)
I don't drink alco, 100%, never, even beer....doing pot now for few years almost everyday.....but now, now I'm really afraid of shores where I slowly starting to settle up.
After I readed that thread, I was in so hard need write down this sentences, like I felt now it's time to write them, a lot of weight of frustration, thinking, inner itching and guilty feels fell down from my head and shoulders guys. If this thread is closed or my post belongs to somewhere else, u all got my apologizes.
All take care plz and stay away of Opiates, cause if u once open the Pandoras box, u will never want anything else than keep opening all the other small boxes which are in each one single box....
#differentlookattheworld