(opiates) Relapsed, Detoxing now; Was better at Life on Opiates

[chaying1313]

Hello Everyone,

THis is my first post, ill try to keep it quick. I was addicted to opiates for about a year and was clean for 5 months after (with the helps of subs for 3 of those). Eventually i relapsed and started taking them occasionally.. and you know how the story goes from there.

The difference here is the first time i was addicted to oxys I will admit i was fucking up, losing friends and family and just generally only caring about geting that next pill.

After this relapse I felt almost like i was improving my life on these pills by taking them. I got a great job while taking them, I was always excited to wake up and go to work, Id work diligently at work, Id workout, and of course I'd have a great time going out with friends.

I recently realized it was time to stop doing this again cause of my last expierence. However I can help but think that i was a much better/more productive/likeable person on opiates. Now that I have decided to quit (with help of subs) i hate wakig up, going to work, and interacting with people. Is it possible i could live a better life on opiates, cause thats how i feel right now and may relapse for a 3rd time, cause i honestly think im a better person on them.

Just looking for anyone that aggrees/disagrees with me on this

Thanks for reading

 

[Jabberwocky]

One word, denial. Not to be a dick, that's just what it sounds like you're doing. Sounds like you're rationalizing. It is, of course, possible. But highly, highly unlikely, from what I've seen, heard, read and experienced. Again, I don't want to keep being negative sounding, but, maybe this was just a small grammatical mistake, but I wouldn't say you WERE addicted. Sounds like you're an addict - were, are, and will be. Doesn't mean everything is hopeless, it's just the realistic thing to come to understand/accept (assuming it is in fact the case and you can't really put down opiates/use them like a normie).

 

[jake99]

ive thought this same thing many times , that opiates are the only way ill be happy , but in reality they are just slowly killing me (i think.............)

 

[8L4YN3]

Hello Everyone,

THis is my first post, ill try to keep it quick. I was addicted to opiates for about a year and was clean for 5 months after (with the helps of subs for 3 of those). Eventually i relapsed and started taking them occasionally.. and you know how the story goes from there.

The difference here is the first time i was addicted to oxys I will admit i was fucking up, losing friends and family and just generally only caring about geting that next pill.

After this relapse I felt almost like i was improving my life on these pills by taking them. I got a great job while taking them, I was always excited to wake up and go to work, Id work diligently at work, Id workout, and of course I'd have a great time going out with friends.

I recently realized it was time to stop doing this again cause of my last expierence. However I can help but think that i was a much better/more productive/likeable person on opiates. Now that I have decided to quit (with help of subs) i hate wakig up, going to work, and interacting with people. Is it possible i could live a better life on opiates, cause thats how i feel right now and may relapse for a 3rd time, cause i honestly think im a better person on them.

Just looking for anyone that aggrees/disagrees with me on this

Thanks for reading

Dude how can you even make these claims about thinking you may need opiates to live happily. You havn't ever let yourself (apart from like childhood) feel what it feels like to have a normal functioning brain, pumping the right amount of bodily hormones and shit. You know what i mean.

It's a blatent rationalisation of drug addiction man, you can't sit there and say when i was on oxy everything was perfect i had a job, i loved going to it, but now that your not GETTING HIGH daily and you're using bupe instead, you have no deluded yourself into believing like there's something wrong with your brain, and you need opiates to be normal and happy. Bullshit man.

I'd beleive you if say for example you had been 2 years clean, and after that decided well fuck life is way better on drugs. But dude you havn't even got to feel what you could be feeling like yet.

How do you know if you dont use opiates for 1 year, that you might even feel better than you do now, than you did when you were high. Yeah maybe you're not high, but earning your endorphins in life is alot more satisfying at the end of the day.

Dont mean to be an ass, but seriously, in my opinion you're just rationalising getting high.

 

[theseeker]

After some more time on the opiates- you'll go back to being a fuck-up again I'm quite sure. Whatever reasons you quit for in the first place- those same exact reasons to quit again will pop up. It's a hamster wheel we all get stuck in. I'm in the hamster wheel myself trying to get out. I know exactly how it is.

 

[jake99]

I know how he feels, that even if opiates f up your life , you feel like at least you have some times where you feel at peace when you have them , but i guess they arent worth the times when you are sick , because not many ppl can stay high all the time.................even if you did , you would have to be constantly doing more and more and over years end up with an insane tolerance..............
and unless its legal , eventually you probably will get in trouble.............i say legalize them but aint gonna happen In the good old USA

 

[psychohedonist]

I think there's often a honeymoon period during an opiate relapse, when you think, you know what, this ain't so bad - this stuff is life-enhancing!

And there is a perhaps longer period after quitting where the addict part of your mind tries to convince you that, hang on, life is WAY better on the drug than feeling like this, what the hell you putting yourself through this for when life is just so perfect on the drug? What you forget straight away when you quit is the constant anxiety about getting your next dose. What happens to that swell, likeable hard worker if his connect goes out of town for 3 days? What happens if you want to travel and can't take the drug with you? What happens if you run short and you can't afford to be sick? What happens to your money when your tolerance is way up and you need more and more just to function?

So it's not really better. It might seem that way, but as has been said, it's like being stuck in a hamster wheel. And as has also been said, you can be a dandy hamster in a shiny new hamster wheel for a while, but sooner or later you will end up being a fuck up again.

 

[ados]

I think there's often a honeymoon period during an opiate relapse, when you think, you know what, this ain't so bad - this stuff is life-enhancing!

That is what I was going to say. Most opiate users would tell you that they worked better early in their usage, but your habit will most likely catch up to you.

 

[Neeoon23]

I feel the same way, I've only been clean for 5 days though so I know it's too early for me to not think like that. I was clean for a year before and I was happy. My addiction has progressed so much since then.. (went from snorting to shooting dope). I never realized how much harder it would be to get through the psychological aspect of addiction once I started shooting. I also LOVED going to work when I was high and now that I'm clean (and jobless) I just think it's gonna be so hard to get up and go to work when I'm not high. I think you just have to get some clean time and find things that you like to do.

 

[jake99]

i think when you have no job or school using becomes almost a replacement for that. and we get hooked on the lifestyle of gettin money , coppin , all that. it takes up time , and almost becomes a game of can i get away with it .....for me at least

 

[shahab6]

same here when I was on OXY I was so much more productive and social and happy. Now that Im on Sub, its like everything is a drag, I hate working, and talking to people, I don't even like getting up the morning, the only reason I get of bad is because I have to. And my social life is dead.
Problem is I can't go back to oxy, my tolerance was so high 100mg, I can't afford it. If I had free access I would go back.


BTW how many MG of Sub are you taking right now? I'v notice the last 3 weeks that I cut my Sub to 4mg, Im kinda more Social and becoming more productive.
Cut down your dosage and see if you feel better.
What am doing is 2mg in the afternoon and the other 2mg at 5-6pm.

 

[Neeoon23]

I try to take 16mg a day, but lately I haven't had the money to buy two strips everyday, so I've been taking about 8mg (sometimes more sometimes less) a day. Honestly for me the only thing that helps me to be productive is heroin and other opiates. Most people nod on dope, not me.. I get up and do the dishes and clean the house, and I have absolutely no problem doing it. When I don't have any opiates all I do is sit on the couch n watch TV.. I have to literally force myself to get up n do something.

I found that only taking 4mgs of suboxone isn't enough to help with cravings.. What do you think??

Oh and I definitely feel ya on the money situation.. I've been completely broke so I'm worried about pay day on Wednesday cause that's a huge trigger for me.

 

[shahab6]

are u taking the 4mg at once? When I split it half(2mg at 11-12am,the other half at 5-6pm) I don't get any craving. Plus less side effect than taking 8mg. I have more energy, more productive, and less tired than taking 8mg.

 

[b4rd]

Just remember there is an equal and opposite low for every high.

 

[b4rd]

i think when you have no job or school using becomes almost a replacement for that. and we get hooked on the lifestyle of gettin money , coppin , all that. it takes up time , and almost becomes a game of can i get away with it .....for me at least

couldnt /agree more . Its a lifestyle addiction!

 

[happydaze21]

Yes for the first few years everything is much more fun high on your DOC and at that point its almost impossible to quit for any length of time. However as time goes on you get lower highs and lower lows and hopefully that's the point where you throw in the towel because all you remember is the pain the pleasure was faded from your memory. Even though some continue the pain.