Opiate Withdrawal (My Expierence)

[smithn6425]

Hello everyone Im new to the site so let me introduce myself and give you some background into my life... I am 20 years old, I have 2 children, and I am married as of 2 months ago... My name is Nick and this is my story of my first attempt to get off of opiate's. I started using this drug on a whim my neighbor asked me to move a box for him downstairs he is old and disabled so the nice guy I am I agreed of course not expecting anything in return. but when I came back up stairs to give him his locker key (we live in an apt) he said here you go and handed me around 6-8 10mg Oxycodone pills they said m325 if I do remember correctly. I have never been a big drug user but I have dabbled at parties back in high school even going as far as to snort a few lines of meth. So gladly I took the pills thinking great I can sell these to some buddies I know who will gladly pay ten bucks a piece... But instead I figured Ill just take them what could it hurt? and before you know it Im scrubbing this guys bathroom (not litterlaly but you get the point) hoping to get a few more. Turns out his disability checks got cut off out of the blue and he was in desperate need for cash and so my dealer was established I pay $3 a pop and I would take one pill a day just to help me out at work because my job is extremely boring I am a caregiver for special needs people but the people I watch are 110% capable they just need someone there in case the house catches on fire ect... So I sit there and watch tv all day or play video games while they go about there business. But before I new it that one pill a day turned into two pills a day one as soon as I woke up and one halfway threw the day ounce I felt it wearing off. after a month or so doing that it turned into two pills as soon as I woke up and two later on. Now the guy I was getting them from (My dealer lol) was selling me about 40-50 at a time so I was in no shortage... eventually it turned into 4 pills as soon as I woke up 4 more halfway threw the day and 4 at night (I stay up til 3am wake up at 2pm be at work by 3pm) now that I was taking so many not only was it breaking my wallet but the old man ran out! Now the whole time (about 4 months altogether) not ounce did I think I had a problem or was even close to being addicted mentally or physically I just thought my system was become more immune to the pills... But that first day I ran out all hell in my body broke lose I have never felt this way before in my life when I woke up It felt like I was hit by a bus of course not having any since the morning before... My nose was running my legs felt like they were twitching and I couldnt sit still. and then the diarrhea started its like I was urinating out of my anus and I mean that lightly! I hunched over in the floor crying like a baby after my ass hole was so raw I couldnt wipe anymore due to shitting non stop the past 3-4 hours. I kept thinking to myself how in the hell did I do this to myself? How could I be so stupid? but I made it through that first day now day two came around the corner and called into work told them a family members cousins uncles third neice died and I had to go to a funeral in Jamaica by boat just to by myself some time to get threw this I figured the longest it could last it 2 maybe 3 days... So I went to the drug store got some pepto and a two pack of generic nyquil and was on my way to recovery. The second night was the worst I drank an entire bottle of nyquil and it was almost as if my body was laughing at me haha you wish you could sleep you little bastard... Sorry for the language. But then not only did the RLS get worse but my arms started to twitch as well!!! So Im laying on the couch I couldnt bare sleeping next to my wife and having her watch me go threw this, Shaking my arms and kicking my legs like someone was holding me down. Now day three came around of laying on the couch and sitting on the toilet Now I get desperate I feel like im dying my vision is blurry I can barely walk im so dehydrated my kids are jumping on me I wait til my wife goes out with the kids just to lay in the living room floor and cry for an hour so no one see's me. Let me mention the only thing that helped the RLS was a long hot bath with the water constantly running I took 2-3 each day. now day 4 rolls around and I cant bare it I go back to the old man and ask for anything and come to find out he has 30mg morphine pills I buy 25 of them for 125 bucks I took 1 pill and within 30 minutes I was outside playing in the snow with my 2 year old daughter... I went threw all that just take another pil and feel instantly better! Now Im stuck between a rock and a hardplace I know what will happen If I stop taking these all those symtems come back WHAT DO I DO? If you read this entire post I think you for your time and any input would be appreciated! After my opiate dependacy is finished I will never touch another drug as long as I live! And I plan on helping others who are struggling.

 

[engineercchad]

If you're serious about not wanting to use..... Then stop taking them. Opiates won't kill you to go through WD. That's a clinical reality, as told to me by a doctor long ago. I know it seems simple-minded to say that, and yes you'll suffer and you'll get through it in about 5 to 7 days depending on your person and.......

Good luck. 5 to 7 days is not bad in comparison to..... <-- just my own personal experience in my go round with opiates, which seems about equally as mild, tbh. At least in comparison to what some deal with.

 

[BlueSaffron]

TAPER. Taper, taper, taper. If you normally take 8 pills a day, start taking 7.. or even 7 1/2. After a few days cut it by another half a pill, then another, then another, til you get down to just one half a pill a day. Then you can jump, and the WDs should be pretty mild.

engineercchad is right, WD (most likely) won't kill you... but I've been through it and I know it's absolutely excruciating and it's very hard to hang on when you know relief is a phone call away. I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on tv, but in your situation my advice to you is taper. Do it now though. I know it felt great when the morphine kicked in and you felt human again, but the longer you go down this path the harder it will be to change and get clean. The whole thing just becomes normal... when in reality we should be like "god, what is wrong with me, I feel like I'm dying if I dont take this drug? I need to FIX this." The longer you get used to the whole being a junkie thing, the harder it is to pull yourself out. Oh, and if you thought hydro WD was bad, have fun with morphine WD My point being - don't even go there. Just taper down slowly - you dont have to rush it as long as you're making progress. You could take 3 mos if you wanted. But tapering is much, much easier than CT.

 

[smithn6425]

TAPER. Taper, taper, taper. If you normally take 8 pills a day, start taking 7.. or even 7 1/2. After a few days cut it by another half a pill, then another, then another, til you get down to just one half a pill a day. Then you can jump, and the WDs should be pretty mild.

engineercchad is right, WD (most likely) won't kill you... but I've been through it and I know it's absolutely excruciating and it's very hard to hang on when you know relief is a phone call away. I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on tv, but in your situation my advice to you is taper. Do it now though. I know it felt great when the morphine kicked in and you felt human again, but the longer you go down this path the harder it will be to change and get clean. The whole thing just becomes normal... when in reality we should be like "god, what is wrong with me, I feel like I'm dying if I dont take this drug? I need to FIX this." The longer you get used to the whole being a junkie thing, the harder it is to pull yourself out. Oh, and if you thought hydro WD was bad, have fun with morphine WD My point being - don't even go there. Just taper down slowly - you dont have to rush it as long as you're making progress. You could take 3 mos if you wanted. But tapering is much, much easier than CT.

Thats my plan as of right now, Ive been taking 2 morphine 30's a day just to stay out of withdrawals not even getting a light head buzz or anything tomorrow Im going to drop down to 1 then hald of one and so on. Thanks for the replies!

 

[Lovecraft]

Man you were almost done. That three day mark is usually the worst of it then it plateaus until it starts subsiding. Just get er done. It's your first opiate withdrawal and you've only been on them for a short time. My first one was a walk in the park compared to how difficult they get each time around. Also, you're young. The older you get the harder it gets to kick a habit as well.

Seriously, I think you should either taper quickly or just get it over with. These things have a way of tricking you into being on them longer than you planned, all the while thinking you're actually in the process of getting off of em.

 

[smithn6425]

Man you were almost done. That three day mark is usually the worst of it then it plateaus until it starts subsiding. Just get er done. It's your first opiate withdrawal and you've only been on them for a short time. My first one was a walk in the park compared to how difficult they get each time around. Also, you're young. The older you get the harder it gets to kick a habit as well.

Seriously, I think you should either taper quickly or just get it over with. These things have a way of tricking you into being on them longer than you planned, all the while thinking you're actually in the process of getting off of em.

Ive noticed that Im starting to say oh just a few more or ill stop tomorrow so I get your point. Im down to one morphine 30 a day im going to half tomorrow!

 

[Smoky]

Thanks so much for taking the time to write… Smithn. It seems like you are really struggling. I'm so sorry to hear this. I was just there 3 months ago.

Opiate withdrawal won't kill you unless you have heart conditions or other serious medical problems. But, Tapering is the way to go, and worth it… ime 'and' studies show people who taper have a better chance of staying off their DOC. I will always suggest it unless one goes into a medical detox. If I didn't taper I would have lost my job and all my clients I have now as I wouldn't have been able to show up for a week. Cos I tapered I continued to work, although very difficult… and having withdrawals while I was at it, It was doable and worth it… and less painful after my last dose.

It is a gift we have indeed to help others going through it…

 

[Erikmen]

Very wise decision to continue with your work. We need to keep busy so it gets easier each time.

 

[Lovecraft]

Good luck, you can do it if you really want to.