^^actually many coming out of terrible addictions usually just swap their terrible/destructive addiction for healthier ones...example, robert downey jr and anthonky kiedis went from cocaine/heroin addiction to exercise addiction...they have basically admitted they have transferred their addiction to something more positive...i am definitely very dependant on exercise, probably addicted to it as well..
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Opiate PAWS symptoms?
- Thread starter Krowsnose
- Start date
jamesmartin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,800
OP - I get what your feeling all the time .
I think that's just your personality .
Heck , I get exactly what your feeling all the time , every single day !
And Im no addict and I don't do any hard drugs (MDMA once every few months ) like H. I just smoke weed and I get what your feeling
I think that's just your personality .
Heck , I get exactly what your feeling all the time , every single day !
And Im no addict and I don't do any hard drugs (MDMA once every few months ) like H. I just smoke weed and I get what your feeling
mdeezie1287
Bluelighter
Eff me n the aye
ok i need yalls help...im at the very dark n depressing part of getting clean....the transition from dope to suboxone....i just took my first sub dose but think i may be throwing myself into precipitated WDs because of how much dope i did the past few days (i waited about 18 hours or so tho i should be strait)....but since friday evening i shot almost 30 bags....that may not be alot to some ppl but thats an outrageous amount for me....i live 20 mins from DC n thats the capital of awesome scramble haha...its so fuckin bad my fam n friends and girlfriend think ive been clean for like 140 days but i keep fuckin up over n over....i feel horrible n if i keep up im either gunna get locked up or mudered out in the projects....i know i need to stop for good 100%.....but as soon as im on subs for a week or so my motivation is gone....my addiction has gotten significantly worse in the past couple years and i used to only snort PKs....and here i am slammin fuckin dope....please help...just tell me something....that im gunna get through all this...and i dont have to lie anymore and steal and waste my life chasing these bags....that mentally and physically i'll be okay soon enough....and i know this is the truth...ive been in this position SO MANY FUCKIN TIMES....get high...get dopesick...get high get dopesick...get subs....get clean...get high/relapse....then i cry like a bitch n get clean.....but soon enough i wont give a muthafuck n i'll go right back for that gold rush....im sorry to steal from the OPS lime light...and i understand all of us are hurting....i pray for all of you and love yall for all the support ive ever gotten on this website....i know someone like captain heroin or sixpartsevin is gunna say somethin bout this post lol but i guess i still love yall too....even tho u can be assholes sometimes haha jk jk...
good news tho....me writing this post made me feel better....and i think the sub is kickin in....wish me luck and i'll keep all of you in my mind....and to the OP....physicall WDs and PAWS can last anywhere from a week to 10 effin years....just like everyone said it depends on the person...the behavior...and so many other variables can change someones progress....i hope ALL of you take care of urself....stay up...peace
~MDZ
ok i need yalls help...im at the very dark n depressing part of getting clean....the transition from dope to suboxone....i just took my first sub dose but think i may be throwing myself into precipitated WDs because of how much dope i did the past few days (i waited about 18 hours or so tho i should be strait)....but since friday evening i shot almost 30 bags....that may not be alot to some ppl but thats an outrageous amount for me....i live 20 mins from DC n thats the capital of awesome scramble haha...its so fuckin bad my fam n friends and girlfriend think ive been clean for like 140 days but i keep fuckin up over n over....i feel horrible n if i keep up im either gunna get locked up or mudered out in the projects....i know i need to stop for good 100%.....but as soon as im on subs for a week or so my motivation is gone....my addiction has gotten significantly worse in the past couple years and i used to only snort PKs....and here i am slammin fuckin dope....please help...just tell me something....that im gunna get through all this...and i dont have to lie anymore and steal and waste my life chasing these bags....that mentally and physically i'll be okay soon enough....and i know this is the truth...ive been in this position SO MANY FUCKIN TIMES....get high...get dopesick...get high get dopesick...get subs....get clean...get high/relapse....then i cry like a bitch n get clean.....but soon enough i wont give a muthafuck n i'll go right back for that gold rush....im sorry to steal from the OPS lime light...and i understand all of us are hurting....i pray for all of you and love yall for all the support ive ever gotten on this website....i know someone like captain heroin or sixpartsevin is gunna say somethin bout this post lol but i guess i still love yall too....even tho u can be assholes sometimes haha jk jk...
good news tho....me writing this post made me feel better....and i think the sub is kickin in....wish me luck and i'll keep all of you in my mind....and to the OP....physicall WDs and PAWS can last anywhere from a week to 10 effin years....just like everyone said it depends on the person...the behavior...and so many other variables can change someones progress....i hope ALL of you take care of urself....stay up...peace
~MDZ
Just about 2 weeks clean from opiates and about 4'ish weeks clean from bupe. I feel pretty good actually, this is something I have been wanting for years so now that I am finally where I want to be I think that is boosting me up, I think.
Have been exercising alot, school, meetings, but have also been taking small amounts of klonopin. I dont have the heart to get rid of them and I only have a few left so when I get rid of those I will probably feel even better [about myself].
Increased appetite, kinda lazy, smiling alot more, getting some sun [its rainy and miserable out today though], things are pretty good. Absolutely zero craving or thoughts. I have been on maintenance for so long that my lifestyle from when I used to shoot dope changed dramatically over the years. Also no old friends to tempt me HUGE plus. On the flipside my social life has slowed down which is just natural when you get older.
I do kinda feel like now what? I just have to remain positive as best I can. I couldn't even tell you the last time I have been clean for 2 weeks from opiates.
Peace
seedless
Have been exercising alot, school, meetings, but have also been taking small amounts of klonopin. I dont have the heart to get rid of them and I only have a few left so when I get rid of those I will probably feel even better [about myself].
Increased appetite, kinda lazy, smiling alot more, getting some sun [its rainy and miserable out today though], things are pretty good. Absolutely zero craving or thoughts. I have been on maintenance for so long that my lifestyle from when I used to shoot dope changed dramatically over the years. Also no old friends to tempt me HUGE plus. On the flipside my social life has slowed down which is just natural when you get older.
I do kinda feel like now what? I just have to remain positive as best I can. I couldn't even tell you the last time I have been clean for 2 weeks from opiates.
Peace
seedless
mdeezie1287
Bluelighter
OPiyum i FEEL YOU 100%...im battling the same shit man...this vicious circle is damn near impossible to escape....but we have to be the select few that get out alive....i've lossed so so many close friends to this horrible addiciton....in one way or another...over doses...suicides...a few of my friends even died in jail...this disgusting addiction will tear you apart in so many ways and it just robs you and strips you of everything from money to self respect/dignity....we all sit here n say the thousand things that are BAD about using...when theres only ONE "excuse" (and sorry ass excuse at that) to use....because it "feels good"....because it is the only releif to the horrible physical torture we feel when the drugs r gone...but then there we go....back to square one....TODAY ima be strong...i already took a sub...and its working...and i feel OKAY...i feel ALOT better than i did when i woke up thats fasho...but TODAY im gunna get through this shit....and i'll worry about tommorow...well, tommorow...but take it one second...one minute...one hour....one day at a time....and steer clear from anyone and anything that has to do with drugs....i feel a lot better right now....and i hope u dont use....and i hope i dont use either....unfortunately for me history usually repeats itself....and i end up back on the block....but i want to be done....i have a quote that always made me feel stronger....its from T.I (i know he's a commercialized fag) but it always gave me a lil motivation....
No more stress--now i'm straight--now i get it, now i take--time to think before i make mistakes just for my family's sake--THAT PART OF ME LEFT YESTERDAY, THE HEART OF ME IS STRONG TODAY, NO REGRETS I'M BLESSED TO SAY THE OLD ME DEAD AND GONE AWAY
i fiend for the releif of the clean life....thats more permanent...as oposed to using over n over n over n over for temp relief....and watching my life fall down around me just so i can feel "normal" or what i think is normal....but please dont use...go for a run...go chain smoke some marlboro lights....go smoke a fat ass blunt and listen to KMK and get your nipples pierced...i dont give a hot fuck what you do but please dont use....may god be with us all in these horrible hard hard times....GOD SPEED SOLDIER....peace
~MDZ
No more stress--now i'm straight--now i get it, now i take--time to think before i make mistakes just for my family's sake--THAT PART OF ME LEFT YESTERDAY, THE HEART OF ME IS STRONG TODAY, NO REGRETS I'M BLESSED TO SAY THE OLD ME DEAD AND GONE AWAY
i fiend for the releif of the clean life....thats more permanent...as oposed to using over n over n over n over for temp relief....and watching my life fall down around me just so i can feel "normal" or what i think is normal....but please dont use...go for a run...go chain smoke some marlboro lights....go smoke a fat ass blunt and listen to KMK and get your nipples pierced...i dont give a hot fuck what you do but please dont use....may god be with us all in these horrible hard hard times....GOD SPEED SOLDIER....peace
~MDZ
Z Y G G Y
Bluelighter
^ wow mdeezie1287, those are some wise words, gave me a lot to think about
yeah dude, what you are experiencing is totally normal. It's what often gets recovering users. It fucking sucks monkey balls. Our brains are not producing the chemicals like they should be and we get depressed. And the worst part is knowing that there is something that will make us feel better. But choosing to use the thing that makes us feel better at the same time is robbing us of a normal, fulfilled life. Addiction sucks. Me and my family think of it as cancer or worse than that. I have all my closest family involved in mine and my husband's addiction. The more support you can have from the people around you the more chance you have at recovery.
Quitting is just part one of recovery. Some people recover faster and can just go back to living a normal life. Some people need to put effort into getting themselves on the right track again. Meaning that for a lot of us, it won't just automatically get better cuz we quit. For some PAWS can last a very long time. Just cuz you quit doesn't automatically mean that your life will become normal again. Quitting is the most important part, it obviously is necessary for any kind of recovery, but its not the whole answer to the problem. You need to fix the problems that made you use the in the first place. You need to learn better coping skills for life's problems. You need to change your life around. It will all take effeort. Nothing is automatic in recovery for most of us. You need to make a plan and force yourself to do things, regardless of how much you don't fuckin* wanna do them.
I know. I'm right there with you also. I think about using all the time, sometimes all freakn day long. Fake endorphins will instantly make me wanna do things and make me feel much more alive and excited but I know where that road ends. All I know is that using will overall make me life a lot worse, it might make me feel good for awhile but that's all. On the other hand being clean might feel shitty and be hard as hell but I know that overall I will live a much more fulfilled life and the people around me will not suffer. We gotta fight the urge for instant gratification.
yeah dude, what you are experiencing is totally normal. It's what often gets recovering users. It fucking sucks monkey balls. Our brains are not producing the chemicals like they should be and we get depressed. And the worst part is knowing that there is something that will make us feel better. But choosing to use the thing that makes us feel better at the same time is robbing us of a normal, fulfilled life. Addiction sucks. Me and my family think of it as cancer or worse than that. I have all my closest family involved in mine and my husband's addiction. The more support you can have from the people around you the more chance you have at recovery.
Quitting is just part one of recovery. Some people recover faster and can just go back to living a normal life. Some people need to put effort into getting themselves on the right track again. Meaning that for a lot of us, it won't just automatically get better cuz we quit. For some PAWS can last a very long time. Just cuz you quit doesn't automatically mean that your life will become normal again. Quitting is the most important part, it obviously is necessary for any kind of recovery, but its not the whole answer to the problem. You need to fix the problems that made you use the in the first place. You need to learn better coping skills for life's problems. You need to change your life around. It will all take effeort. Nothing is automatic in recovery for most of us. You need to make a plan and force yourself to do things, regardless of how much you don't fuckin* wanna do them.
I know. I'm right there with you also. I think about using all the time, sometimes all freakn day long. Fake endorphins will instantly make me wanna do things and make me feel much more alive and excited but I know where that road ends. All I know is that using will overall make me life a lot worse, it might make me feel good for awhile but that's all. On the other hand being clean might feel shitty and be hard as hell but I know that overall I will live a much more fulfilled life and the people around me will not suffer. We gotta fight the urge for instant gratification.
mdeezie1287
Bluelighter
thanks ZYGGY....im glad to see my words may help someone else.....just a quick update....i was havin horrible cravings last night n only took a half a sub in the morning....so by 10:00pm i was fuckin HURTIN for some releif....mostly mentally....but i was gunna hit the city n cop...i had my boy ready to go....he was gunna loan me a lil bit of money for some bags....i had a fresh rig....an empty can...some q-tips....a lighter.....lets just say everything was a GO lol....but i knew deep down it was gunna set me back HARD (not to mention i would probly barely feel it cause ive been on subs for 4 or 5 days) but thats not what kept me from using....i knew that i would come down on myself too had....i know those projects are too dangerous at dark....especially on FRI night....looks like a fuckin lil wayne video....i just knew all together that it was a BAD MOVE....so i didnt go...i didnt use....i threw my lil kit away n said fuck it....i went over to my girls house....had some wonderful sex lol and then fell asleep.....this AM when i woke up i was hurtin....but the first thing i did was take a SUB....so i guess in the words of ice cube....TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY haha...and no matter how much i WANT to use....even right now....im not goin to....zyggy...bagochina....and everybody else i hope yall r duin okay and i hope yalls days r goin good....hit me up if u ever need me...peace & keep smilin....
~MDZ
~MDZ
batmanplaybaseball
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2009
- Messages
- 1,306
I have been addicted to opiates twice in my life. Once was in high school with a standard high school whatever-pain-pill-i-can-get addiction. The next time was several years later with a much longer heroin-methadone-suboxone addiction. Both experiences were very similar to me, with the second being just like the first only exaggerated in every way.
WSB15 made a good list of points. I will try to line out my own things that helped me each time.
1. Be healthy. Exercise and eat well, stay outside for ridiculous amounts of time, sunshine.
2. Be social. Both times i quit i basically retired into myself afterward. This is incredibly counterproductive when you are trying to get your soul back. If you don't feel like you can be social you should do it anyway. It's like exercise, work but rewarding.
3. Be patient. Maybe the most important. If you don't feel yourself after a few weeks or months it is fine. You need to keep at it. If your interests are gone you need to keep trying. If you get a spark of interest or your old self, hold on to it. Know that recovery comes slowly and often in the night, meaning that you won't feel a switch coming on usually. It will be a gradual process that you might not notice at all. The thing is that you will eventually find yourself in a place where you can say, i am not back to where i was before my addiction, i am better than that and i am rewarded for it.
4. Be nzos. I would not exactly recommend these to anyone, but they have certainly helped me each time. Benzos help me with the lethargy and depression that lingers long after opiate addiction. I find they are most useful several months after quitting opiates on your own. I also find benzos very easy to quit, which is exactly the opposite of most people, so tread very carefully.
5. Be the future of yourself. There is no going back to who you were before, it is ridiculous to want that. You need to be happy with all of your life's decisions. You must understand you are only going to be the future and never the past, and the future will be better. I believe that relapsing is just an attempt to get yourself back into the past. Instead you must believe only in the future of you.
6. Be busy. Keep yourself interested in your life by finding something, anything that interests you and build up a hobby or project around it. Keep a small garden or some windowsill plants. Get some easy music production software and mess around with it. Buy some art supplies. Keep your production focused on the light inside of you, i find that trying to articulate my depression in any way just makes me more dark and depressed. Stay away from that trap. Work and work and you will be proud of yourself. It is that pride which becomes your new self, your new better self. Soon you will find that you have really lost nothing at all.
WSB15 made a good list of points. I will try to line out my own things that helped me each time.
1. Be healthy. Exercise and eat well, stay outside for ridiculous amounts of time, sunshine.
2. Be social. Both times i quit i basically retired into myself afterward. This is incredibly counterproductive when you are trying to get your soul back. If you don't feel like you can be social you should do it anyway. It's like exercise, work but rewarding.
3. Be patient. Maybe the most important. If you don't feel yourself after a few weeks or months it is fine. You need to keep at it. If your interests are gone you need to keep trying. If you get a spark of interest or your old self, hold on to it. Know that recovery comes slowly and often in the night, meaning that you won't feel a switch coming on usually. It will be a gradual process that you might not notice at all. The thing is that you will eventually find yourself in a place where you can say, i am not back to where i was before my addiction, i am better than that and i am rewarded for it.
4. Be nzos. I would not exactly recommend these to anyone, but they have certainly helped me each time. Benzos help me with the lethargy and depression that lingers long after opiate addiction. I find they are most useful several months after quitting opiates on your own. I also find benzos very easy to quit, which is exactly the opposite of most people, so tread very carefully.
5. Be the future of yourself. There is no going back to who you were before, it is ridiculous to want that. You need to be happy with all of your life's decisions. You must understand you are only going to be the future and never the past, and the future will be better. I believe that relapsing is just an attempt to get yourself back into the past. Instead you must believe only in the future of you.
6. Be busy. Keep yourself interested in your life by finding something, anything that interests you and build up a hobby or project around it. Keep a small garden or some windowsill plants. Get some easy music production software and mess around with it. Buy some art supplies. Keep your production focused on the light inside of you, i find that trying to articulate my depression in any way just makes me more dark and depressed. Stay away from that trap. Work and work and you will be proud of yourself. It is that pride which becomes your new self, your new better self. Soon you will find that you have really lost nothing at all.
mdeezie1287
Bluelighter
ok...do i have a story for you...i fucked up...the day before yesterday i went out to the city to cop.....i got to the block walked in n saw some youngbucks servin....copped my shit...n rolled out...well as soon as i walk out of the hood the muthafuckin police pull up...now initially he only harassed me from his car...i said i was just "strolling" and for the police officer to have a nice day.....i walked away....got to my car....put my shit in my STASH SPOT (thank god) and as soon as i pulled out to go back home that same MOFO got behind me n pulled me over(i saw it cummin anyway)....they told me n my homie to get out the car n they searched us both...they found nothing.....they searched my entire car....found nothing....then they called for a K-9...i thought FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK....if they get a K9 here im FUCKED....then im goin to JAIL in DC with 2,500 black dudes FUCK THAT...i started talkin w the cop....i finally said look man....i went up in there to cop and they wouldnt serve me.....i only got $5 n they thought i was the police....they told me to get the fuck outta there....so i did....i told him i dont wunna get in trouble for loitering or solicitation for sale of narcs or whatev cuz officer today im 120 days clean....i almost fucked up....but i didnt....just let me skate on this....and he said "Okay, i wont fuck with yall anymore, call off the dog sarge". All 4 of the cops left n let us go....OMG WHAT A FUCKIN RELIEF....keep in mind i had 6 bags of dope....a rig....6 beers on my breath...and 2 concealed weapons....so WHY THE FUCK did i get so lucky....it was an act of god....something occured to where the police officers senses were impaired or SOMETHING....or maybe i'm just DAMN good....but whatever the fuck happened...im lucky as shit foreal....this shit opened my eyes!! i dont need something HORRIBLE/LIFE CHANGING to happen to make me change for the better....i need to change for my well-being and under my own terms....the craziest thing about all this.....the dope i got was called "Last Chance"....WTF?!?!? LAST CHANCE?!?!?! OMG fuckin CRAZY....this was my last chance...PERIOD...i'm done...for good, for ever and 100% DONE.....wish me luck on my journey to sobriety....i wish yall the best of luck too....PS....my arms are healing up nicely ....i'll check in with yall every now n then....peace!!
~MDZ
....i'll check in with yall every now n then....peace!!~MDZ
damn im getting clean after dope and subs for a whole year about ...........it hurts......day 3 off dope and on subs , then gonna wean off the subs..................
it took me more bad shit to happen to wake up again ............crashed my car nodding off and now worried that is gonna catch up to me............stressing me out bad..............
it took me more bad shit to happen to wake up again ............crashed my car nodding off and now worried that is gonna catch up to me............stressing me out bad..............
mdeezie1287
Bluelighter
Jake...i feel u brother...luckily like i said in my other post...i skated on those charges but ive watched my world crash down around me cause of drugs...and ive seen a lot of my friends get locked up/die from this addiciton....we're the lucky ones...and CONGRATS on bein clean...i saw you in another post about this being ur third day on subs...keep it goin man and i would recomend stayin on the subs for even LONGER.....within reason ofcourse...the reason id recomend that is because u need more than 30 days to build that "regular" life style again...its better to take them for 6 months to a year...but regardless what you do GOOD EFFIN JOB stayin clean and keep that shit up...cause we all know what will happen to us sooner or later if we keep living in this disgusting lifestyle...hit me up if you EVER need ANYTHING...we're all in the same place...or have been thru the same stuff a thousand times over....thanks for ur post man and try to keep ur head up...peace
~MDZ
~MDZ
Miss Hollywood
Bluelighter
I have been trying to quit heroin now for almost 2 years.
Was on suboxone for a year and had a few relapses while in the program. My 3rd relapse cost me...i was thrown out of my sub program. I've been off subs now for about 4 months and I have done a bit of chipping since then but haven't gone into using again all the time. I'm not sure if it's because I dont have the means to support a daily habit or just because I'm a bit more in control if it now, but I still use on occasions. Most people can't do this though....they are either on the wagon or off.
The PAWS is what gets me. I gave up a lot of friends when I quit using, so I'm a bit lonley and isolated...so I turn to dope when these things hit me hard. I get real apathetic, irritable, and frustrated...all thanks to PAWS.
I do excerise occasionally but I haven't been able to trade the drug addiction for an exericse addiction. I've always been a bit of a lazy person...and for some reason opiates gave me more motivation. But without them, my laziness has gotten worse. I know I need to get up off my ass and exercise. But ugh....lol
Good luck to those of you trying to kick!
Was on suboxone for a year and had a few relapses while in the program. My 3rd relapse cost me...i was thrown out of my sub program. I've been off subs now for about 4 months and I have done a bit of chipping since then but haven't gone into using again all the time. I'm not sure if it's because I dont have the means to support a daily habit or just because I'm a bit more in control if it now, but I still use on occasions. Most people can't do this though....they are either on the wagon or off.
The PAWS is what gets me. I gave up a lot of friends when I quit using, so I'm a bit lonley and isolated...so I turn to dope when these things hit me hard. I get real apathetic, irritable, and frustrated...all thanks to PAWS.
I do excerise occasionally but I haven't been able to trade the drug addiction for an exericse addiction. I've always been a bit of a lazy person...and for some reason opiates gave me more motivation. But without them, my laziness has gotten worse. I know I need to get up off my ass and exercise. But ugh....lol
Good luck to those of you trying to kick!
thanks for support MC Deezie .................day 3 has been really hard...........the depression is the worst part , even with the sub. and thinking about consequences catching up to me but not knowing what to do about it , and the guilt that i put myself in this kinda of situation again after been through jail and everything for long time............i thought i had the dope under control but what a lie that was
mdeezie1287
Bluelighter
i know man i feel you...im on day two of subs AGAIN...i had a pretty bad relapse the other weekend...then ANOTHER relapse this past weekend....so todays day TWO (again)....its rough man but the subs will be alot more effective after you've detoxed completely...just keep it up man and EVERYDAY as SOON as you wake up...TAKE A SUB!!! that way u cant fuck up n use...and if u do fuck up n use...u wont even feel it!! haha....but stay optimistic and just ALWAYS remember...there will be brighter days...just get through the first week and things will SLOWLY get better....keep it up homie n STAY CLEAN!!! im never ever ever ever gunna use again...and after what happened this past weekend i know that it was my LAST CHANCE....just keep ur head up bud....peace
~MDZ
~MDZ
mdeezie1287
Bluelighter
dude dont be scared to take a whole 8 or a half....i think thats whats makin u hurt still....take another half n i GUARANTEE u'll get a very warm almost euphoric relief.....trust me....u'll feel like a million bucks...the trick is to keep the sub under your tongue as LONG as u can to get as much of the meds as possible...i usually keep a half under my tongue for an hour....but take atleast another piece n ull feel better...u dont have to worry about gettin hooked on susb cause theyr a THOUSAND times easier to get off than dope...thats fasho....but u'll feel better i promise....let me kno how it goes....peace
~MDZ
~MDZ
