• Welcome Guest

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
    Fun 💃 Threads Overdosed? Click
    D R U G   C U L T U R E

Opiate addiction: You don't need this insidious monster (my perspective)

Used to take oxy, got that down to tramadol which is really one of my favorite opies (yeye, semi-opioid) (Gets very close to oxy for me). Some people think it's very weak and doesn't get you high. Well for me it's one of the best. (only have oxy to compare to from the stronger opioids. Kicked that c/t which was a bitch.

Relapsed 1,5month later. (recently) I can still stop without too much discomfort, but as you said, it gets a grip on you like no other drug can. . If you haven't, don't. What the OP said is true, There are very few who are able to resist.
As soon as I first took codeine recreationally I wanted more, and started looking for other opiates. Oxy followed. Now it's tramadol. (it's wd's are horrific, snri wd + opioid w/d is a bitch.)

I'm still hoping to get off it. But that usually leads to me taking alot of other drugs which I don't want either. Stilll gonna try again, 1,5months was good for a first try. Hoping next time I succeed. I'm motivated but not ready tio go again yet.
 
Thank you for sharing. I needed to read something like that. maybe there is hope. I came on this site a while back and I have been reading for a good while and trying to understand addiction. I finally decided to join so I could talk to someone who might be able to give me some advice.

I'm in a relationship with a girl who has addiction problems. She tells me she's not an addict because she only uses the shit the docs give her. She is an addict. I don't know who she's trying to fool me or her. She's been on opiates for a few years now. Actually, she's been on all kinds of shit. It didn't start as anything bad. She was injured in an accident at work. Docs put her on pain meds. She needed them for pain. Then she needed more. always running out before she could get more. then she needed different shit. So she'd con her docs into giving her what she wanted. It has gotten worse ever since. At this point I don't know what she has stashed all over the house. I have to sneak around the house to try to find the shit.

If I had not been with her before the accident, I would never be with her now. I'm trying to decide if I will be able to live with all the lies and secrets. I love her, but I don't know if she will ever be clean. She tells me she's clean, but I find empty bottles hidden in the trash and shit like that. I have a decent job, but I have had to leave work to go home when she's so stoned that she can't take care of herself. I have to lie and make up excuses so my boss will let me leave and shit. I don't want to be drug down by her habit.

I don't have much hope by what I have been reading on this forum. Her family has cut ties with her because she started stealing from them. She lost jobs because of her addictions and blown money to the point that she can't pay her bills. She don't tell me what she's spending her money on but I can guess because even though she says she's not really addicted I've caught her doing shit like parachuting drugs and she'll try anything she can get her hands on. pukes all over the house.

I always have to fix her problems for her. I don't think I can live like this. I was going to ask her to marry me, but now I don't know who she is or if I want to. I know she has messed around on me and I forgave her for that but I don't think I can trust her out of my sight unless she gets clean. She's a beautiful girl until she has puke blowing out her nose. I am struggling with the decision right now if I can handle this any longer. She has no place to go. Her "friends" are all doing the same shit because she doesn't hang out with her old friends anymore. She sleeps all day. doesn't have a job. So, I know if I kick her out, she'll be on the streets. any hope? any advice would be appreciated. I love her. I just can't live like this.
 
Last edited:
^Aw man, that sounds like a really painful situation. When an addict won't admit he (or in this case she) is addicted, it's very hard to get her to stop. Are you getting mad about if when you find her meds?

Addicts who don't want to stop, will not stop. It's as simple as that. If she doesn't even admit her addiction, that's an even bigger problem. You must convince her that she can tell you about everything and anything without you getting mad or upset. Cannot stress this enough. You also shouldn't point out her failures (like losing jobs) too often. Sometimes ofcourse you should tell her what's important and what's at stake. But wrubbing her nose in it every day will cause her to seek out more drugs to dull her emotions.

In most cases getting mad or upset will cause her to close up, not talk about it and continue her self-destructive behaviour. Allowing her to be honest will include you having to tolerate her drug use for a while. If she knows you won't throw out her prescriptions and she can "safely" put them somewhere, you can get a more precise idea of what she's taking. You can confront her with that when you earned her trust. (about her drug-use) If she still refuses to admit it when the boxes of painmeds and whatnot are piled up in front of her, she's pretty stubborn. Even then don't throw any of it away as this will probably take you back to step one. Lying.

Eventhough people who aren't addicted can't really understand. I think it's great you're reading boards like this one to get a general idea of things.

I can't say much more than this.. Try to engage in conversation without losing your temper, while trying to understand where she's coming from. Maybe then she will finally admit she has a problem.

Ofcourse you may have already tried all sorts of stuff, I'm just talking about my own experience with addictions.
She's a lucky girl to have someone so caring. :)

Good luck!
 
Last edited:
Part of the difficulty of all drug discussions is that everyone reacts differently to a given drug due to individual pharmacogenetic factors. Some people get an enormous kick out of tramadol, for instance (myself included); others "barely feel it." (In that vein, I find discussions in which people say, in effect, "my drug is better than your drug" silly and pointless.) Similarly, some people are highly addictable to certain drugs and others aren't. Some fall in-between. Generalizations are really impossible---and so, therefore, are declarations and well-meaning moralizations about risks and addictive potential.

There is always risk, though, and it must be managed cautiously and intelligently, on an individual basis. Primarily by yourself. If you feel unequal to doing so you should probably not even take an aspirin.
 
pirates_ said:
I am with you 100 percent on this post OP, but i disagree with this one statement

While opiates are certainly imminently dangerous in that you can OD or endure a wide number of potentially serious side effects, in 90% (my guess) of instances, the real danger is what you're not thinking about the first few times you pop your Vicodin and nod off into oblivion; the addiction that you had no idea was coming.

You can die from too much of anything, you can die from taking too many xanax bars, or too many valiums, smoking to much crack or speed can cause an od..Also..opiates BY THEMSELVES have very little serious physical effects on the body compared to anything else. Its the fillers that mess you up. Every other substance out there that I can think of causes serious effects to the body. I cant think of any from opiates. Yes there are mental problems, and withdraws, but that is from long term abuse of the drug. Peep my simple list below

smoking ciggs=cancer, gum disease
doing uppers=heart problems, increased blood pressure
weed=bad for your mouth
otc pain relievers=endless list of dangers.

Not to take away from your post or nothing but, it just bothers me when people say that opies have serious effects on the bod. But threw amd threw..opiates are, in my opinion th worst of the worst..the high feels so light and natrual at first, therefore you feel like you are not doing anything bad. As you get deeper into it tho, u lose the fear to do more, and then you get your first good nod, and by the time you know it, your spending 50 to 100 dollars a day to support your habit.. it sucks man..it really sucks
Click to expand...

Agree with this 100% and this is what bugs me the most about my opiate addiction. There's a drug that makes me feel amazing, turns me into the productive, happy person, kills my back pain completely, and the only barrier to using it is a financial one, and it only exists because society says X drugs are ok and Y drugs are wrong. It just really gets to me because I feel like I'm being robbed of something I love, when you're forced to give something up instead of giving it up on your own terms, you'll always want it somewhere deep inside you. There's no risk/reward evaluation that will make me logically want to give up opiates, because I know the only barrier against my continued use is an artificially constructed one, and that just makes it so much harder to let them go.

I was able to give up most other drugs because eventually the price to my health or my lifestyle became too much, and so it was easy to come to grips with that decision and accept it internally. But with opiates, I know I could keep using every day for the rest of my life if only the prices weren't artificially inflated, and that's why it's so damned hard for me to let go of them. I went through 2 years of decreasingly casual use, another year of heavy use, now 6 months of suboxone when I couldn't afford to keep going, and yet I want opiates more than ever, and I get angry because I can't have em, then I want them more.

And yeah, just like everyone else, I 'knew' I had the self control to "just keep it occasional" when I started.
 
^Interesting point of view. I feel pretty much the same way. (I have a scolliosis (sp?) of the spine resulting in lower back pain.)
Also feel like that about my benzos. If I have anxieties and phobias.. Who can tell me it's not real? I know it's all psychological (duh), but it feels just as real to me. I don't care about taking a stupid pill if it makes my pain and anxieties go away.

Ofcourse alot of legitimate users become abusers and keep using pain issues as an excuse while they're actually not in pain anymore. I know a few who get their prescriptions that way. I don't judge any drug user though because afterall, I'm a druggie too. =D And eventhough they're for my pain & anxiety. I enjoy my benzos & opioids.
 
PillToChill said:
^Aw man, that sounds like a really painful situation. When an addict won't admit he (or in this case she) is addicted, it's very hard to get her to stop. Are you getting mad about if when you find her meds?

Addicts who don't want to stop, will not stop. It's as simple as that. If she doesn't even admit her addiction, that's an even bigger problem. You must convince her that she can tell you about everything and anything without you getting mad or upset. Cannot stress this enough. You also shouldn't point out her failures (like losing jobs) too often. Sometimes ofcourse you should tell her what's important and what's at stake. But wrubbing her nose in it every day will cause her to seek out more drugs to dull her emotions.

In most cases getting mad or upset will cause her to close up, not talk about it and continue her self-destructive behaviour. Allowing her to be honest will include you having to tolerate her drug use for a while. If she knows you won't throw out her prescriptions and she can "safely" put them somewhere, you can get a more precise idea of what she's taking. You can confront her with that when you earned her trust. (about her drug-use) If she still refuses to admit it when the boxes of painmeds and whatnot are piled up in front of her, she's pretty stubborn. Even then don't throw any of it away as this will probably take you back to step one. Lying.

Eventhough people who aren't addicted can't really understand. I think it's great you're reading boards like this one to get a general idea of things.

I can't say much more than this.. Try to engage in conversation without losing your temper, while trying to understand where she's coming from. Maybe then she will finally admit she has a problem.

Ofcourse you may have already tried all sorts of stuff, I'm just talking about my own experience with addictions.
She's a lucky girl to have someone so caring. :)

Good luck!
Click to expand...

I've tried that. I've tried to be supportive and understanding. When everyone else was turning their backs on her i stuck with her. After I read your post, I took your advice. I sat down with her and told her we needed to talk because if we are going to make it, we need to move forward with complete honesty. I stayed calm, and I asked her about things that i know for fact. I gave her the chance to just be honest with me. She lied about a number of things. she told very convincing lies. I didn't tell her that I already have the proof of the things I was asking. I wanted her to just be straight with me and she wasn't. Now, I'm faced with two choices. keep my knowledge to myself and try to support her to get help without confrontation. or tell her I know and end the relationship. I know that addiction means denial to self and others, lies and cover-up. I know that's part of the illness and I don't know where to turn now. I have 100% proof she was lying. Do I tell her and end it?
 
I would've confronted her after giving her the chance to be honest. Without getting angry. But even then I think she still wouldn't tell you everything from the looks of it.
It's simple .. She doesn't want to admit it because she's afraid you'll force her to stop, while not wanting to herself.

I really can't decide for you whether or not she is worth it. Dishonesty can seriously wreck relationships.. But it seems to me like she's lying to herself aswell.

I would confront her with what you know.. Regardless of your decision. There's no point in keeping quiet about that imo.
 
I'm sure I should do the confrontation thing. I think the reason I am still hesitant to do it is because I lost a friend to suicide a few years ago. He was an alcoholic and I offered to go to rehab with him and sit through it with him. In the end, he just offed himself anyway. addiction is a horrible thing. It destroys the lives of those involved and it devastates the people who love them. Thing is I'm not even angry right now. I'm more upset than angry. And I'm sick to my stomach. Thanks for your input. Not sure how things are going to go from here. But I appreciate your time.
 
i wish i was addicted to Oxycodone instead of DiaMorphine, but hey at least you didn't introduce a needle and IV the shit :)

I'm 45 days clean and they gave me a shot of 20MG METHADONE IM

is OP still using or not ?
 
I know this is an old thread, but I had to join this group just so I could speak my mind. Everyone says that tolerance is the beginning of the end for "addicts", well I disagree. I have been using my nostrils for over 10 years now. First 80s, 30s, percs, anything that can give me "that feeling". Some weeks, in college, I'd do up to 200mg of oc a day, then go two weeks not doing anything. Other weeks, I do 3 30s a day, sometimes I do a 30 a day for a month at a time. It's been going on like this for 10 years. The longest I've gone without doing anything is 2 weeks. I am not addicted, nor do I feel the need to do one to "feel normal". It's a state of mind, keep yourself busy and you it keeps your mind off of it. I could stop for a year tomorrow, but I don't want to, it's like having a beer after work, I just like it. I don't understand where you all are coming from. And, if you say that the only reason I have been able to sustain my "functioning addiction" is because I don't have the means to get wicked high everyday, I disagree. Money has never been the problem nor access. I just shut it off when I want to. Does anyone out there share this feeling???

Thank you and good luck with your problems, being on the "edge" of addiction for over a decade, I can appreciate where you all are coming from.
 
This post makes me depressed and anxious because I am myself opiate dependent and know all to well this long hard road u speak of. U are 100% correct when u state that it is uncontrollable once u start and possibly even before u start and know what ones getting themself in to. Long lonely life or possibly short if the shit gets the better of u... sigh
 
I've been thinking about refilling my 7.5/500 hydrocodone script for a while before I no longer can...reading this discouraged me but I still really want to do it. I've only taken 10 of my last 20 prescribed (my parents refused to give them to me after a wisdom teeth surgery, they're in my name, I'm an adult...it's their house and I'm living free of charge and my step brother has been sent to rehab for H twice, so I understand where they're coming from and all...) but I really want to 'dabble..'

Would it be oh so terrible to do so?
 
Its always been interesting to compare kratom addiction to real opioid addiction. On one hand, kratom has none of the legal risks that many opioids do. Kratom's ROA is essentially harmless. You can't overdose on kratom. Kratom is much cheaper to maintain as an addiction compared to most opioids. And finally, the withdrawal from kratom is not as severe as opioid withdrawal is in general. Yet, there are many similarities. The first time I did kratom I was in a completely blissed-out, not-a-care-in-the-world state. I was experiencing more or less the same insidious feeling that leads to addiction of any kind of opioid or pseudo-opioid. And now I take kratom every day and have been addicted on and off for a year and half. Again, it hasn't really affected my life in any obviously negative ways. I am doing well at school and am making friends. I am friendly, outgoing and supportive of others. I get along with my parents and am saving up the vast majority of money I make working. But I woke up this morning with a runny nose and a distinct uneasy feeling in my legs. I had to get my dose. So despite the vast difference in the affects of opioid vs. kratom addiction on one's life, I still am incapable of living life without this drug. And I see no signs of quitting anytime. Maybe it will just be my buprenorphine or methadone.
 
sl1p609 said:
i wish i was addicted to Oxycodone instead of DiaMorphine, but hey at least you didn't introduce a needle and IV the shit :)

I'm 45 days clean and they gave me a shot of 20MG METHADONE IM

is OP still using or not ?
Click to expand...

Yes, yes I am. :p

I've stockpiled Suboxone and Kratom in the meantime. Both substances should be considered mandatory for any long term addict. Accrue as much Suboxone over time as you can, and pick up a couple pounds of some good Bali Kratom.

I had some procedures that considerably helped my physical injuries, and I've put myself into a focused planning state to get off the shit for a while. I'm not going to stress myself to high hell and promise my mind I'm quitting for good, rather I intend to take it a day at a time.

While I peaked around 350mg/day, I'm now maintaining around 150mg daily. So going through the WD process at this point won't be anywhere near as difficult. I'm going to blast it out on Subs for four/five days, then switch to Kratom.

The only, and truly the million dollar question is, well, when?

:p

Fuck you, opiates,

With love(and much sarcasm),
SaosinEngaged
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top