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Online Dating

Just having a quick gander, like you do after a 4 day bender... there seems to be something wrong with every person, every line starts with.. "well I love my kids"... this is the 18-21 bracket btw, or "light-none drinker, non drug taker".. it gets worse.

My first match came up with this gem

"About Celiaxoxo

xxx sweet talk me baby I love many things and i am open to all sorts of things ;) if you know what I meen. Im bisexual so I dont realy care whos interested I make a great sex partner x I may seem like a slut everyone calls me that and its upsetting. Its just because ive had a couple more boyfriends than them. I just want you to know im honestly anything but a slut x interested in many ages x

NSFW:
1222045.jpg


Only 19 and a secretary?

2 Miles away.. gotta be worth the trip right? Could walk there and back in time for tea, wont call her a slut obviously.

:sus:

Maybe im inputting the wrong information, gone with the nick DynoCock69, mugz inspiration
 
that's hilarious mattronik, I've not seen any profiles like that. You should do the meet me bit, it just flicks through lots of pictures and you have to click yes, no, or maybe as to whether or not you would like to meet them.
 
mattnotrik said:
My first match came up with this gem

"About Celiaxoxo

xxx sweet talk me baby I love many things and i am open to all sorts of things ;) if you know what I meen. Im bisexual so I dont realy care whos interested I make a great sex partner x I may seem like a slut everyone calls me that and its upsetting. Its just because ive had a couple more boyfriends than them. I just want you to know im honestly anything but a slut x interested in many ages x

NSFW:
1222045.jpg


Only 19 and a secretary?

2 Miles away.. gotta be worth the trip right? Could walk there and back in time for tea, wont call her a slut obviously.

:sus:

Maybe im inputting the wrong information, gone with the nick DynoCock69, mugz inspiration
Click to expand...
That's a pornbot/spammer/nigerian scammer...
 
Mugz said:
Just sent another 1st message to someone, no mention of scales but I did include my favourite joke 8) [spoil]Why did the cat sink?.................Because it couldn't swim[/spoil]
Click to expand...


shouldn't have told the punchline, she'd have had to reply if she wanted to know the punchline, which she obviously would have done.
 
@ knock ForestChump would be funny. (username that is)

What's a headline? Like a strapline?

ie: lost and lonely puppy seeks a frolicking kitty for playtime frolicks and interspecies mayhem?

[edit]
also

Mailmonkey said:
shouldn't have told the punchline, she'd have had to reply if she wanted to know the punchline, which she obviously would have done.
Click to expand...

^^ this. You've just basically told her a shit joke (which is fine) but also told her the lame not even remotely funny answer (not fine). She's got 2 reasons to not respond to you now, rather than just one, but the first on it's own was at least laced with enough suspense to generate some curiousity from her
 
Last edited:
knockando said:
"I'm looking for a filthy druggie commie girl who will adore me"?
Click to expand...
... must be tenacious as I'm not for the faint-hearted. In return, as my partner in crime you'll be heavily rewarded with loving attention and endless opportunities for frivolity and good times. And sex, lots and lots of sex.
 
Just like to add in a strange meeting my mate in London met up with a woman online who was looking for younger "men" hes only 20, anyway shes a part of the centipede in the film Human Centipede 2, shes got a thing for the young ones, made him turn up with his "all clear" tests from the clinic on the first date.


NSFW:
Maddi Black
 
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