On the verge of a mental breakdown

DarkU4EA

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 9, 2012
Messages
8
I realize there is a mega-thread regarding anxiety issues, but I couldn't find any discussions dealing with my current problem. So, I apologize if starting a new thread is against forum policies.

Anyway, I've been at my current job for 4 years, and few times a week I would use amphetamines(Vyvanse) to maintain my productivity and balance school work. I never had any problems at first. But I'm not gonna lie, I did overuse them and would run out before my next refill. The last time this happened, I browsed the RC market for a stimulant alternative. I chose Ethylphenidate because of my past experience with Ritalin. I would later realize that this was the worst mistake I could've possibly made. The effect was extremely powerful, even more than amphetamines IMO. I work at a call center, and the first 4-5 hours went very smoothly. During the end of my shift, the drug started to the wear off. My heartbeat and pulse skyrocketed, but the phone calls kept coming in. I started to get extremely nervous, which escalated into a panic attack. This all occurred while I was speaking to customers, so there was so way to calm down. I completely lost control of my verbal skills, words were slurring and my speech was extremely rapid. I haven't touched RC's for 4 months, and took a 2month break from Vyvanse. But now it's been getting extremely difficult to function at work, I keep getting flashbacks of that experience. I've completely lost my confidence and I feel like I'm the verge of having a panic attack on every phone call. How did I overcome this?
 
Putting aside psychological factors for a moment, it sounds like your life demands a lot of you. Going to school and working at the same time is a tough slog. I was a wreck when I used to do that. The student life is tough.

All those amphetamines you've done will do a number on your adrenals and nervous system. It's sort of like how some people drink coffee every day to get through work, but once they stop they find they no longer have the stamina to make it through the day.

If I were you the first thing I would look into is an adrenal formula, or even a single supplement. I currently take 350mg of rhodiola extract (it's an herb) once a day in the morning. Adrenal supplements will manage your cortisol levels while you are active and stressed, but will reduce cortisol levels in the blood when it's time for rest at night. Because of the lifestyle I lead, I can't live without them right now, but the plus side is that, unlike coffee, they have a repairing effect on the body.

Other adrenals: ashwaganda, holy basil (tulsi), licorice root, siberian ginseng, or any kind of mammalian cortex tissue. People who eat cooked animal kidneys (including the adrenal glands) get adrenal benefits. You can also buy porcine adrenal cortex tissue in pill form. I would just go to a natural health food store or supplement shop near you and get something that can help you with this. Just make sure it's not another stimulant.

Magnesium and vitamin B12 are not adrenal, but they have a relaxing effect on the body and nervous system which can also be of use.

I think once you feel more grounded again you'll be able to handle your on-the-job anxiety and break past associations with being on the phone.
 
call centre jobs are tough; i've had numerous ones. If you have anxiety it's even worse. Maybe find a different place to work where you aren't dealing with people so much, that is my plan.
 
call centre jobs are tough; i've had numerous ones. If you have anxiety it's even worse. Maybe find a different place to work where you aren't dealing with people so much, that is my plan.

He has a good point there.
Perhaps a change of jobs could be just what you need to escape this hell you are living in.
It's not a definite solution, however it is a pretty reasonable suggestion.
Some jobs can destroy us inside, especially after heavy run ins with drug use.
 
I've gone through some serious rough patches in my life....Some mental states I though would never end...I've been diagnosed bipolar, lost my shit from speed, RCs...etc. and you'll bounce back....It sounds almost like you can't mentally detach from the past....Zen meditiation can work wonders to stop the crazy thoughts swirling in your head...I know it sounds crazy if you haven't done it, but taking the time to just do deep breathing and clearing your mind works wonders for anxiety....

The problem with some of those RCs is the purity they may come in...I was using amounts of them like they were street drugsd, but they were much more concentrated....For me it was MDPV...I'm an experienced stimulant user, but that shit fucked my head up, big time!
 
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