My first big crush was on Paige. It went on from the time I saw her, around age 5, at my aunt and uncle's wedding when danced with her, as the adults put us together, and she ran away, saying she would be back, and she never came back... Until probably middle school. Maybe. Scott- my uncle who my dad's half-sister Jill married, I remember he asked me if I like top hats. That "Paige likes top hats".
I continued to look for her. She said she'd be back.
Then I looked for her at home, around town, at basketball and football games, occasionally spotting her sitting with her family, and looking on from afar. Little cute blond.
Her family owned a dance studio in town. Drum and dance lessons. Her grandpa was sort of big, I guess. Or he was, but his wife- her grandmother, was bigger, performing in New York back when, where the grandfather met her, and brought her home with him.
I forget what grade it was in... Maybe fifth- but my class, and some others from other schools went on a field trip to see the Harlem Boy's Choir, in Indianapolis. That was the next time I was near Paige, that close. I saw her on the bus. My friend Mike and I were sitting next to one another, just a seat or so up from her in the left row, and she on the right. I wanted her attention, so I started slapping myself, like the guy in Innerspace- The movie, did. Mike followed me, doing the same thing. Then I started to slam my head into the window, saying "brain dammmagee" over, and over again. Mike again did the same thing.
This did get her attention. I caught her smiling at me.
When we got to the place where the concert was, our group was placed up in the balcony seating. Mike and I sat next to each other. He sat first, and then after me, there was one seat left, and Paige sat there, placed there by a teacher.
I'm not sure if I said anything to her. I may have smiled. Said hi. Might have relaxed a little, in my tension, to be around her. During intermission, we talked. Mike her and myself. I went to the bathroom, then after I did, she did, and Mike and I both talked about her, probably red in the face, excited to be sharing time with this girl. I threw her on him. "Go for it dude". And he put her back to me, saying that she liked me more. That, I think, she asked about me when I was away. And she paid more attention to me, when I was around, which was surprising to me, as I considered Michael to be more attractive.
We were young, and went to different schools. She was a grade ahead. I continued to look for her, after this, but by the time I would be under my own power, anyways, she had moved away. Though she did date a friend of mine for a second, as they were associated, though his sister, and her sister.
Now I am friends with her cousin, Melissa. We began to be friends back in High School, over 12 years ago, or so, in Speech class. Years later, when I became intimately involved with her after she was having trouble with her future husband (and ex husband now), I had started to see the number, 23, with more frequency, in my life, around the time that I knew her then, I think. Though, it came before. Her, and Alisha (A=1, L=12, 1+2=3, L=3, I=9, S=19, 1+9=10, 1+0=1, S=1, H=8, A=1-- A+L+I+S+H+A=23... Though I didn't know it back then). I gave Melissa a book that had stuff about it (23) in it, right before I broke down- right before I went into a period of chronic pain in my life that has been somewhat relentless, though with periods of relief I guess, since. Pain, and discomfort that has been localized to my mouth/jaw, and face, that began at Alisha's house, from what I remember. I was with Alisha in heart, still, and still talking to her, when I was also involved with Melissa. Melissa's future husband/future ex-husband then threatened to write my mother a letter about the nasty things I did to Melissa in her- my mother's bedroom, and give her this letter, in church. At this point, there was so much drama around it, with him threatening me constantly, and my heart wasn't really in it for more than sexual pleasures, anyways... So I backed off, not wanting or needing any more drama. But that's when I went to hell. Not that I didn't get a taste prior. Alisha had my mother's maiden name, Finch, and her future husband reinforced "23", giving her a last name with this sum, Darr (D+A+R+R as D=4, A=5, R=18, 1+8=9, R=9).
I continued to look for her. She said she'd be back.
Then I looked for her at home, around town, at basketball and football games, occasionally spotting her sitting with her family, and looking on from afar. Little cute blond.
Her family owned a dance studio in town. Drum and dance lessons. Her grandpa was sort of big, I guess. Or he was, but his wife- her grandmother, was bigger, performing in New York back when, where the grandfather met her, and brought her home with him.
I forget what grade it was in... Maybe fifth- but my class, and some others from other schools went on a field trip to see the Harlem Boy's Choir, in Indianapolis. That was the next time I was near Paige, that close. I saw her on the bus. My friend Mike and I were sitting next to one another, just a seat or so up from her in the left row, and she on the right. I wanted her attention, so I started slapping myself, like the guy in Innerspace- The movie, did. Mike followed me, doing the same thing. Then I started to slam my head into the window, saying "brain dammmagee" over, and over again. Mike again did the same thing.
This did get her attention. I caught her smiling at me.
When we got to the place where the concert was, our group was placed up in the balcony seating. Mike and I sat next to each other. He sat first, and then after me, there was one seat left, and Paige sat there, placed there by a teacher.
I'm not sure if I said anything to her. I may have smiled. Said hi. Might have relaxed a little, in my tension, to be around her. During intermission, we talked. Mike her and myself. I went to the bathroom, then after I did, she did, and Mike and I both talked about her, probably red in the face, excited to be sharing time with this girl. I threw her on him. "Go for it dude". And he put her back to me, saying that she liked me more. That, I think, she asked about me when I was away. And she paid more attention to me, when I was around, which was surprising to me, as I considered Michael to be more attractive.
We were young, and went to different schools. She was a grade ahead. I continued to look for her, after this, but by the time I would be under my own power, anyways, she had moved away. Though she did date a friend of mine for a second, as they were associated, though his sister, and her sister.
Now I am friends with her cousin, Melissa. We began to be friends back in High School, over 12 years ago, or so, in Speech class. Years later, when I became intimately involved with her after she was having trouble with her future husband (and ex husband now), I had started to see the number, 23, with more frequency, in my life, around the time that I knew her then, I think. Though, it came before. Her, and Alisha (A=1, L=12, 1+2=3, L=3, I=9, S=19, 1+9=10, 1+0=1, S=1, H=8, A=1-- A+L+I+S+H+A=23... Though I didn't know it back then). I gave Melissa a book that had stuff about it (23) in it, right before I broke down- right before I went into a period of chronic pain in my life that has been somewhat relentless, though with periods of relief I guess, since. Pain, and discomfort that has been localized to my mouth/jaw, and face, that began at Alisha's house, from what I remember. I was with Alisha in heart, still, and still talking to her, when I was also involved with Melissa. Melissa's future husband/future ex-husband then threatened to write my mother a letter about the nasty things I did to Melissa in her- my mother's bedroom, and give her this letter, in church. At this point, there was so much drama around it, with him threatening me constantly, and my heart wasn't really in it for more than sexual pleasures, anyways... So I backed off, not wanting or needing any more drama. But that's when I went to hell. Not that I didn't get a taste prior. Alisha had my mother's maiden name, Finch, and her future husband reinforced "23", giving her a last name with this sum, Darr (D+A+R+R as D=4, A=5, R=18, 1+8=9, R=9).