this is really one of my 2 'NA' diaries
NA helped me get clean that yr but once I learnt some shocking things going on behind the scenes at Aucklands NA community (bitchery, cliques, sponsors sharing sponsees trusted secrets wiv each utha....) then wen I was told I cudnt talk wen I returned, as 'methadones a psychoactive - u might as well b on heroin' and was treated like ppl wud catch my relapse - and MMT - off me, I left, realising one can get clean wivout NA...the support was nice but if it aint there...
I hav fond memories of NA tho
and they r captured in this diary and another one
17/2/08 - P Kills; Will It Kill Laura?
Laura's hit that point in her life where using is slowly killing her. She came up to Auckland for an operation on an ovarian cyst. That went well and the next day she went back to her mum's house to recover. Then she got sick. She was chucking up green bile, she had itchy skin and a fever. So she went back to the hospital and they did blood tests on her and found out she was in renal failure. She's on a drug for her polycystic ovaries that dehydrates you. As well as meth.
Apparently the doctor noticed the sores on her skin and asked if she was using meth.
She admitted to it and he said mixing the drugs could eventually kill her.
It took a week in the ICU to stabilise her kidneys, and she went through P withdrawal for the first time, so not only was she sick she was mildly psychotic.
Yet when she came by on her way back to Masterton, she was back on the pipe, skiting on about all the morphine and Valium she'd been given. She smoked P periodically throughout the day - she looked so pale and sick with dark circles under her eyes; I was so worried. Is that what I looked like?
It sounds like her mum's catching on though - she told Laura she wasn't allowed to visit May, which she'd planned on doing, since 'poor May' can't find any meth on the island.
Apparently she gave her daughter a talk about the dangers of methamphetamine and reminded her how close to death I came and how fucked up May's become.
Ultimately we had a good time though, if I could just ignore the tantalising pipe.
We went to the movies and talked all night.
Today I met my puppy. Ozzy is actually eight weeks old and ready to come home with me next Saturday. It was an easy choice - he's the quietest male of the litter, and the cuddliest.
His nature is much like Lola's - I'm sure Lola will enjoy his company.
At the meeting tonight, Lucy brought her Papillon, Bruiser. Oneday I'll bring Ozzy!
NB - Firstly, some of these names cud b aliases
- Laura is my, now clean, oldest friend
- Auckland is the city I live in and hate dearly
- Masterton is a small town down near the botton of the North Island, a 7hr drive from Auckland, where Laura used to live; she was the physiotherapist at the hospital there
- May is Laura's cousin, my mate, a chronic addict and attention-seeker, destined, sadly, for the cells
- 'the island' is Waiheke Island, an island thats part of Auckland but semi-rural/hippie; May's mum lives there so she used to stay there sumtimes before she became too addicted to part with the gang supplying her for a day...
- 'my puppy' was a treat I got for going 9mnths clean; mum and dad had a rottie called Zeus wen I was a baby and he guarded me all day as a baby cos I had severe asthma and we lived in the wops...Zeus knew long before I'd hav an attack and run to my olds barking...and of course I always wanted another rottweiler after him!
- Ozzy was the name I chose for my pup before I even met him (I luv Ozzy Osbourne) and he lived up to the name! sadly he lived a short life due to a hereditary condition...RIP OZZY
- Lola's Mum's old pitbull; she has a bit of lab and bulldog in her too but 7/8 pittie basically...she luvs evryone, even Ozzy who jumped all over her arthritic hips
- Lucy was my sponsor; we seemed to hav evrything in common...she had a horse and was a vet nurse, but she had the 'holier than thou' Auckland NA attitude I loathe too...I knew wen I told her I was back but on MMT I'd never hear from her again or go riding wiv her again and I was right
NA helped me get clean that yr but once I learnt some shocking things going on behind the scenes at Aucklands NA community (bitchery, cliques, sponsors sharing sponsees trusted secrets wiv each utha....) then wen I was told I cudnt talk wen I returned, as 'methadones a psychoactive - u might as well b on heroin' and was treated like ppl wud catch my relapse - and MMT - off me, I left, realising one can get clean wivout NA...the support was nice but if it aint there...
I hav fond memories of NA tho
and they r captured in this diary and another one
17/2/08 - P Kills; Will It Kill Laura?
Laura's hit that point in her life where using is slowly killing her. She came up to Auckland for an operation on an ovarian cyst. That went well and the next day she went back to her mum's house to recover. Then she got sick. She was chucking up green bile, she had itchy skin and a fever. So she went back to the hospital and they did blood tests on her and found out she was in renal failure. She's on a drug for her polycystic ovaries that dehydrates you. As well as meth.
Apparently the doctor noticed the sores on her skin and asked if she was using meth.
She admitted to it and he said mixing the drugs could eventually kill her.
It took a week in the ICU to stabilise her kidneys, and she went through P withdrawal for the first time, so not only was she sick she was mildly psychotic.
Yet when she came by on her way back to Masterton, she was back on the pipe, skiting on about all the morphine and Valium she'd been given. She smoked P periodically throughout the day - she looked so pale and sick with dark circles under her eyes; I was so worried. Is that what I looked like?
It sounds like her mum's catching on though - she told Laura she wasn't allowed to visit May, which she'd planned on doing, since 'poor May' can't find any meth on the island.
Apparently she gave her daughter a talk about the dangers of methamphetamine and reminded her how close to death I came and how fucked up May's become.
Ultimately we had a good time though, if I could just ignore the tantalising pipe.
We went to the movies and talked all night.
Today I met my puppy. Ozzy is actually eight weeks old and ready to come home with me next Saturday. It was an easy choice - he's the quietest male of the litter, and the cuddliest.
His nature is much like Lola's - I'm sure Lola will enjoy his company.
At the meeting tonight, Lucy brought her Papillon, Bruiser. Oneday I'll bring Ozzy!
NB - Firstly, some of these names cud b aliases
- Laura is my, now clean, oldest friend
- Auckland is the city I live in and hate dearly
- Masterton is a small town down near the botton of the North Island, a 7hr drive from Auckland, where Laura used to live; she was the physiotherapist at the hospital there
- May is Laura's cousin, my mate, a chronic addict and attention-seeker, destined, sadly, for the cells
- 'the island' is Waiheke Island, an island thats part of Auckland but semi-rural/hippie; May's mum lives there so she used to stay there sumtimes before she became too addicted to part with the gang supplying her for a day...
- 'my puppy' was a treat I got for going 9mnths clean; mum and dad had a rottie called Zeus wen I was a baby and he guarded me all day as a baby cos I had severe asthma and we lived in the wops...Zeus knew long before I'd hav an attack and run to my olds barking...and of course I always wanted another rottweiler after him!
- Ozzy was the name I chose for my pup before I even met him (I luv Ozzy Osbourne) and he lived up to the name! sadly he lived a short life due to a hereditary condition...RIP OZZY
- Lola's Mum's old pitbull; she has a bit of lab and bulldog in her too but 7/8 pittie basically...she luvs evryone, even Ozzy who jumped all over her arthritic hips
- Lucy was my sponsor; we seemed to hav evrything in common...she had a horse and was a vet nurse, but she had the 'holier than thou' Auckland NA attitude I loathe too...I knew wen I told her I was back but on MMT I'd never hear from her again or go riding wiv her again and I was right
