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Yo, what's with all the benzo hate. I have serious panic and anxiety issues that I am working through and I've had them for a decade for reasons that are no laughing matter. I am also being closely monitored on a klonopin (clonazepam) taper while getting therapy. Someone needs to chill? I'm not in a social for a lecture on benzo use on a drug forum.

I've had really negative experiences with long term weed use. Not to compare them, but I am going to stop posting here because I don't need random people giving me shit about having some amnesia which to be honest a lot of it comes from the pot.

And yeah, I'm addicted as fuck to weed psychologically. Really it isn't any better. At least I'm working with a doctor to quit that shit. I've been trying to quit smoking pot for 10 years and I can't. I can most def quit benzos so what's with all the hate here, I'm severely mentally ill and unlike most of you.

Why would you care anyway? About my memory, or anything about me? Seems like you just like to pick on people well let me tell you this has been warfare over here. Psychological fucking torture and constant scheming and serious discussions with several friends who are millionaires and who have been talking to me day and night through this... amnesia is the last thing on my mind and you know what causes it too? Lack of sleep. I didn't fucking sleep for 2 weeks I'm a skeleton.

You seem to have no compassion for others and for that I feel sorry for you. Honestly man if I am here respecting others I expect the same in return. Not an insult on my memory which has never been good as I am more into high tech and my brain doesn't remember shit it calculates shit.
 
thujone said:
Heyyyyy CD has new mods! Congrats y'all :)



I just got off a two week break and I felt even less motivated in that period, being deprived of my nightly unwind ritual. Maybe I'm an outlier but cannabis has only ever offered a helping hand and made my life easier. It has never been a negative unless I've been abusing it, but after the honeymoon period I just naturally trended towards only vaping a bit at night because being sober to make the optimal use of the rest of my time is just as important to me as having that ritual chill time.

I sincerely don't believe anyone can solve their problems by deciding to quit herb because those problems are likely still there regardless and more likely the drug abuse if a consequence of those problems rather than a cause of them.
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I both agree and disagree with you here. I agree in the sense that it's not weed's fault that I abused it and started developing symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia, but also that if weed wasn't in my life I wouldn't have had this shitty experience the past year or so. Also, there's something to be said about the fact that I can get high 2-3 times in a day and that leads me to severe depression and paranoia constantly even a day or two after I last got high, but some people can be high seemingly 24/7 and go through 20x as much weed as me and they're fine. THAT is absolutely not my fault. I believe there is a difference in brain structure on some level that makes weed just not work out for certain people in certain usage patterns.

You see a lot of people who say they tried weed just a few times and it made them feel like shit. The first few months I used weed it was absolutely amazing, the most euphoric thing, and even my weed "hangover" was pleasant, it was like I was calm for several hours to a day afterwards and didn't have any worries. Over time that turned into, I'm lucky if I have euphoria for 2 minutes and the rest of my waking life was generally spent moderately to severely depressed, nervous, and antisocial.

I'm pretty strong-willed, normally I can convince myself things like anxiety or depression are just a state of mind and calm myself down and wait until I feel better. That's not how weed was for me, it was impossible to overcome the shitty feelings when I was using it wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much.

I've made a commitment that if and when I go back to weed, I will not use it more than once a week. That will keep me from using it to escape shitty feelings, and hopefully help with the "not at all fun or euphoric" thing, if not I guess I'll just have to give it up pretty much for the rest of my life.

If it gives you an idea of how bad things were: I became so depressed due to overuse the past month, I went out of my house only for work and otherwise shook off every single commitment I had. The idea of going out and dealing with people was the most horrible thing I could have imagined. I quit now and on my 5th day in, I feel amazing. I've had more energy at work this week than any time in the past year, no drugs at all. I can actually function highly on 6 hours of sleep now, that was completely impossible before, even if I could manage to get 8 hours I still spent most of my day tired as fuck.
 
ShroomySatori said:
Yo, what's with all the benzo hate. I have serious panic and anxiety issues that I am working through and I've had them for a decade for reasons that are no laughing matter. I am also being closely monitored on a klonopin (clonazepam) taper while getting therapy. Someone needs to chill? I'm not in a social for a lecture on benzo use on a drug forum.

I've had really negative experiences with long term weed use. Not to compare them, but I am going to stop posting here because I don't need random people giving me shit about having some amnesia which to be honest a lot of it comes from the pot.

And yeah, I'm addicted as fuck to weed psychologically. Really it isn't any better. At least I'm working with a doctor to quit that shit. I've been trying to quit smoking pot for 10 years and I can't. I can most def quit benzos so what's with all the hate here, I'm severely mentally ill and unlike most of you.

Why would you care anyway? About my memory, or anything about me? Seems like you just like to pick on people well let me tell you this has been warfare over here. Psychological fucking torture and constant scheming and serious discussions with several friends who are millionaires and who have been talking to me day and night through this... amnesia is the last thing on my mind and you know what causes it too? Lack of sleep. I didn't fucking sleep for 2 weeks I'm a skeleton.

You seem to have no compassion for others and for that I feel sorry for you. Honestly man if I am here respecting others I expect the same in return. Not an insult on my memory which has never been good as I am more into high tech and my brain doesn't remember shit it calculates shit.
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I'm not judging you dude just reacting to you saying something ominous-sounding: "I take so many benzos one day I am going to disappear"??? I'm just pointing out what you already know, that benzos get into diminishing returns the longer you use them for. Doctors don't seem to give a shit that they're prescribing you something you become reliant on, maybe it helps with your anxiety but that doesn't mean the pharmaceutical companies aren't coldly profiteering from our problems. That's the reason for why I hate benzos, I question the therapeutic value of an addictive drug that is being prescribed in perpetuity as if though it's perfectly normal to be outsourcing healthcare to amoral corporations that have a profit incentive to keep patients in maintenance mode instead of helping towards a cure.

I know I can come across as aggressive in tone but it's not my intention, I mean no disrespect and don't want you to just "disappear". All the best dude, good luck with the tapering

The Network said:
If it gives you an idea of how bad things were: I became so depressed due to overuse the past month, I went out of my house only for work and otherwise shook off every single commitment I had. The idea of going out and dealing with people was the most horrible thing I could have imagined. I quit now and on my 5th day in, I feel amazing. I've had more energy at work this week than any time in the past year, no drugs at all. I can actually function highly on 6 hours of sleep now, that was completely impossible before, even if I could manage to get 8 hours I still spent most of my day tired as fuck.
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good points. maybe i was being a bit absolutist (because I'm such a pot zealot) but yeah it definitely is easy to slip into a vicious cycle where pot becomes an unhealthy coping mechanism. i don't get people who can be permastoned and toke large amounts either, i switched to mostly vaping about a decade ago and it has a strong effect but nothing compared to smoking. last time i smoked it felt like i was clubbed in the head with a 2x4 o_o even edibles feel less intense than smoking, oddly enough.

the thing about sleep is interesting because it's common to hear sleep problems in relation to cannabis, especially how it inhibits REM sleep. my theory is that it fucks with GABA and serotonin on some level, I noticed that the first night ending a break I sleep very well and dream vividly but then afterwards the effect disappears. It could be some sort of long-term downregulation effect caused by neurotransmitter depletion?
 
I'm absolutely sure THC screws up serotonin levels or receptors within the brain. Like I said what it does to you might highly depend on the person though. Who knows... the war on drugs set us back many, many decades in science related to drugs, and seems like it might continue to do so.
 
The Network said:
I'm absolutely sure THC screws up serotonin levels or receptors within the brain. Like I said what it does to you might highly depend on the person though. Who knows... the war on drugs set us back many, many decades in science related to drugs, and seems like it might continue to do so.
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I agree that it can, especially habitually or daily. Long ago when I used Mdma when I was younger and more foolish, there was a wise member here who always used to mention that a little weed increases serotonin levels, but a lot of weed depletes or decreases them.

This makes sense with my experience. It probably explains why I only really get burnt out when I smoke too much weed not just a little, and how the antidepressant effect is so much better when I smoke in moderation and with hits spread out over several hours. Weed has a completely different effect when it is overused like constantly, and it also loses its antidepressant and euphoric effect I find, in exchange for things like sleep and appetite gain which of course can be good as well.

Also, this man had been severely damaged by E use. Used to pull up so many studies, and emphasize that those who are most at risk for long term side effects related to Mdma abuse are directly correlated with people who smoke a lot of pot daily. Essentially if you smoke weed all day you are at a way increased risk of getting messed up long term from taking that shit.

I mean, it's an antidepressant to me. That is why I smoke, #1 reason other than anxiety but really what I need it for is depression. Clonazepam works fine for anxiety so long as I am not stupid with it and I am on a taper and professional help and all that now cause I got in over my head. It's always the fucking xanax.

I like to speculate on what's going on in my brain. Pretty much what I do when I'm stoned is think about random theories and stuff.
 
That's cool dude. Cause it is anecdotal, apart from the studies. I couldn't find them anymore, this was like 2011 and from someone who was basically dedicating their lives to researching neuroscience to try and get better after ruining his life from a single pill one night (I definitely think this is a rare side effect of pure Mdma, it doesn't have to be cut the pure can really fuck your head up too). I am one to pay attention to my body and I feel like I know my serotonin pretty well.

I get panic attacks taking 5-htp or L-tryptophan (I do pretty much every time). These boost serotonin levels, which would explain why if I smoke a really heavy hit of a hybrid after not smoking for like a day and get too much serontonin it can sometimes trigger a panic attack. And how this never ever happens if I'm smoking on a more habitual basis.

It's highly intuitive that THC interacts with serotonin, otherwise I don't think it would be such an excellent (potentially, depending) anti-depressant and mood stabilizer. I have BPD and will cut my wrists n shit if I don't have it so it is definitely stabilizing as I never ever do that stoned anymore.

Problem with me is I benefit most from a little weed, but have a propensity to smoke it all day every day. I'm struggling with this now at the moment in fact. I know I don't have enough money to smoke heavily through this q, and I really want a toke since I napped all afternoon and woke up a little bloated but I have to wait at least a bit longer. That way, the high is so much better anyway. Again, it's probably the serotonin man but I don't think it depletes it (I just mean not like rolls haha that shit is just fucked) since bouncing back from smoking all day to getting really good highs again does not take long whatsoever. Few days if that.
 
Wish I could do that man, can't while on a kpin taper I have been fiending the tokes. Good you are feeling well.

Should probably stop that it's too expensive. That ~1:1.5 THC:CBD toke was just zen a few minutes ago and well xanax withdrawal isn't fun. Mind is at ease after the CBD, smoke that tree, should be for free, throw pounds at me, can't quit the GSC, so I smoke that weed until my lungs can't breathe and then some til I can barely see anything but a sea of green that make peeps ain't so mean. Everyone keep high that's the dream, the journey to free.

You felt good again that quick though? Cause, I don't really want to be a major pothead right now dude. Every day it's the same I can't control it because of these other withdrawals mainly have fucked me up to the point I don't care about controlling weed anymore. But I can only afford so much and it stops working. I also don't want to withdraw from two things simultaneously when the weed helps. Congrats though, the detox can be significantly underestimated when massive amounts of pot for years are involved.
 
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When I go back to weed, I might have to pick up some GSC. That is, if I ever find weed fun again. If I don't get the euphoria anymore (which I hadn't really had for the past 2 or 3 or even more months) I'll probably just quit for a year or two instead of just 1-3 months. I actually never had GSC itself but I had several different strains that were phenos or direct offspring of GSC, they were always my favorite, at least back when weed was euphoric.

And yes, I legitimately felt MUCH better after 2 days. Now, you use a lot more than me so it might take a little while longer, but I'd be surprised if it took even the heaviest user more than 5 or 6 days to start feeling a lot better after weed. I recall reading that your cannabinoid receptors actually go back to normal within 2 days generally. Of course there's other systems that have to reset, but it should be pretty quick.
 
It would be pretty quick, but with mental illness and benzo withdrawal I think I should hold off for now despite the obvious benefit of smoking less pot.

I was already using way less before I got on this klonopin taper. Now it is a time of my life where I need to smoke a shit ton of pot despite being broke. It is necessary (finances are my main concern with it right now, I don't want to die if I had money I'd be dabbing all day every day relentlessly).

Hell on earth this shit. Been tortured since boxing day. Tortured. No sign of it even budging yet. Nearly had a seizure so many times. Really low blood sugar. About an hour of sleep a night. Finally cracked told my doctor everything and surprisingly got on a long term taper which I seriously can't fuck up popping xans and shit like I'm over that. I nearly died running low / out over the holidays and that's what it took.

Man I can't deal with this shit without the ganj I'd be kidding myself. After enduring this shit I shouldn't even notice quitting pot for a while. I'm not in it for the euphoria at the moment, I need to be able to eat something and well stay sane. Losing my mind is a real possibility and the dope keeps my head on my shoulders.
 
In the realm of addictions/dependencies I would much rather have weed than 99% of other things, even non-psychoactive substances. It is pretty physically harmless. I never wanted to drink when I was high, that was a positive thing. Although I never really drink heavily anyway.
 
Yeah, for sure. I don't think I'll ever quit. This benzo stuff is the last straw I officially throw in the towel. I've been going insane man. Hearing voices in my head constantly feel like I'm dying. Fuck this shit honestly why does it even exist. And then come the seizures. It took 15 years but I finally met my match. I just CT'd heroin it wasn't a big deal but this is very serious shit. It is an abomination and the fucking torture cannot be described. I never knew a form of torture that was so deceptive. This is literally slowly killing me and tearing my life apart piece by piece, week by week, until there is fucking nothing left. Get on a taper at the very last minute I'm lucky to be alive and fuck everything but weed I will never even touch a psychedelic again and definitely not a beer. I could have just taken CBD for fucks sake and been fine most likely with panic attacks what even is this shit it is such a monstrosity it transcends the concept of drugs.
 
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Sorry about that. It was unexpected downtime. TLB made a post about it.

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/861539-Site-downtime-v2018?p=14472592#post14472592

First, we apologize for the recent downtime. It was unplanned and unexpected. If we need someone to blame, point to TLB. However, we hope you all enjoyed a day in the real world :D As for the volunteer staff, standard policy is that you will not get paid for time off. Cheers.


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