^ Good luck out there man.
I just came in to vent a little. I've been on suboxone for over 3 months now, and its been working like a charm. Everybody (friends/family) have told me how much of a pleasure I've been to be around lately, compared when when I was a grouchy, dick-headed junkie. Well 2 weeks ago I fucked myself up skating. I was on campus, Monday afternoon, on my way to take my first of 4 finals. Shit happened, and the next think I know my ankle is bending out at a 90 degree angle from my leg. And it hurt like a bitch. I was on suboxone, so I couldn't receive any pain meds




that was the worst part. So I was in a fuckload of pain (I'm not here to whine that much) and pissed to be in a hospital where the nurses barely understand English and had to be screamed at to give me my ativan. I've neved had benzo WDs and don't plan on it, especially when someone else is forcing me. Long story short, I broke my tibia and fibula (the 2 bones in the lower leg) and got a plate and 8 screws thrown in there. I was honest with the doc about my history, and luckily got a decent amount of pain meds to help me cope with the first week or two, mostly oxycodone. Last night I took my last bit of oxycodone (30mg percocet). While waiting until I could dose myself with suboxone, I practically lost my mind. Something just wasn't right. Suboxone does a lot to help keep me stable, and I hadn't had any for almost 2 weeks. Now I had been taking oxycodone, prescribed from a doc, so I wasn't getting sick, but I didn't feel right in the head that whole time. Not wanting to spend another minute in that manic state, I said fuck it and took a little suboxone, about 2mgs. I took it about 18-20 hours after my last oxy dose, and it wasn't long quite enough (I had a feeling it wasn't, as I didn't feel any WDs coming on). I don't remember the hour the followed, but was told that I was kicking and kicking and flailing around (which sucks because I'm in a cast I've already fallen once or twice and don't want to damage my shitty leg any more) for over an hour. When I awoke I was told of this. Apparently thats what precipitated withdrawal is. Its fucking hell. Thankfully it only lasted an hour, and when I came out of it, I felt like a million bucks. Bupe (suboxone) does quite a bit for my sanity, and I feel so good (normal) as I type this (I only took 2mg).
I really just had to get this off my chest. I'll be bedridden for a while, my doc says I'll be all casted and gimped up, unable to drive until around mid-late February. Shitty, but I'll find something to do. I mean, I still have 4 finals from the Fall quarter to take, I can study for those. I couldn't have before, but now, back on bupe, I can. Does this mean I'm dependent on bupe? Definitely. Physically to some extent, but mostly psychologically. Better than heroin though. Much better. Wow I can't even explain the relief I feel to be back on it. Another part I hated of not being on it, and being on oxycodone, is knowing that I could take other full agonists (heroin) and thats the last thing I wanted to do. I call bupe my insurance policy - no way I'm getting high off street opiates when I'm on that. I'll try to branch this out to others - anyone suffering with an addiction to opiates - especially those who don't even know why they do it, don't enjoy it anymore, just do it to avoid withdrawal or because they don't know what else to do - get on suboxone. You can search their website for doctors in your area. A lot of insurance plans will cover it, and if not, its still cheaper than heroin, oxycontin, or whatever your poison is. And it makes you feel positive about life again. Peace
FATMAN - I know we didn't really talk much, but good luck and be safe out there (it looks like you said you're about to go [back] to Iraq). Remember that we're all behind to you, even though I don't know you personally, I wish you the best. I've heard the hash out there was weird though. My buddy was out in Baghdad and he said he bought some hash and it had all kinds of "hadji hair" stuck to it. Gross. Forgot about getting high though, just get through it, and get high as hell once you get back. Like you seem to be doing now
