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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Octsober!!

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It's been a few days since I've checked in...I'm not going to go into detail right now but...

My SO and I got into it...I guess this is part of whole process...we aren't communicating well. I can't really verbalize what I'm thinking/feeling to him. He thinks the way I'm feeling is his fault or he doesn't undersatnd why I feel the way i do and why I haven't told him.

Good news...still 3 days without booze, I did 2 on Fri night, quite a few on Sat...but Sun Mon Tues sober. Totally killing my original Octsober goals.

Prodigy...sorry dude...keep up the sobreity in the face of hard time!

Belarki and RL...everyday is a day closer to our goals...you just need to make it happen. You help so many people here I hope you can help yourselves!

Mariposa...quick thought...have you done any reasearch on the new driod? It's the iphone competitor.
 
I've been sober for all of today! I have $0 lol, so sucks because I could go for a fucking cigarette right about now.

cool^3 days no booze.
 
thanks n3o, shit sucks. I went n saw my doctor today to get all kinds of testing done. I got a std test just to be safe. I coulda really used a drink right about then. but I got no $ lol, so no drinky for me!
I got a script of trazadone, shit might make me sleep.
 
turned down a bunch of perc30s and a couple 80s tonight,,, haven't touched bags in a few,,, I know that I'm not going cold turkey - but compared to where I was at,,, this is significantly better!! I have a lot more control now, and I certainly feel like when I do use it's more of that original bliss, not the "shit i need my fix" - hopefully the days go farther apart. I'm sorry I'm not really doing terrific on this but this is where I am, best of luck to all of you with all your goals!!
 
I think that unfortunately I'm going to lift my ban on kratom. Since I've stopped, my symptoms (general lethargy, body pains) have really come back in full force. And I know that withdrawls can cause those symptoms, but really I think they're part of whatever is wrong with me in the first place, and I've been using the kratom to self-medicate.

Also influencing my decision is the fact that I've had alcohol 4 out of the last 5 nights. The fact that I'm replacing my use with a more destructive substance has really made me re-evaluate this, and I decided to go back to kratom.

I want to say that above all I want to get better. I've lived with whatever is wrong with me for so long and I'm ready to get rid of it. I'll give the Pristiq another week or so, but I can already tell that it isn't working as well. Then I'll try another medicine, and keep looking for one that will help. But in the meantime I have to be able to keep up with school and life, and so I will continue my use.

Sorry for the downer. Good luck to everyone else!
 
RedLeader said:
belarki, me too. Largely, so as much. The past week has been hard, and the only blame can be placed on myself. I guess, well if not this month, we can always do it again in 2 weeks. We *can* do it again in 2 weeks.

Don't stop keep lookin' around for a better day
Won't stop until I find that better day

I don't think those lyrics were intended for anything like this, but it does fit the profile. Let's stay strong :)
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Me three. Really gone off the rails a bit this month. It's nothing I can't get back on track, but I was really aiming for better. I guess there's always next month. I think I'm going to need some recovery time, anyway...:\
 
61 days without anything thus far. Now I'm wondering if I truly had a problem if I have lasted this long drug and alcohol free
 
To merge into the conversation in this thread -- Do the people who have thus far participated in Octsober (either for better or for worse) think it would be a good idea to do again next month/future months? And any suggestions/feedback is welcomed as well, including what could be done differently in a second round of the thread and such.
 
Still going good, work is terrible. Really tempted to allow myself to have a few on Friday.

Really getting in alot of good workouts, but its usually because I need a release after work.
 
I'd like to participate in the future with stronger boundaries for myself - I feel like most of you guys have managed much better !! Which is awesome! I just think I was a little unprepared to drop so quickly. With one month of this completed - I think that I'd def be able to do better in the future!! I say keep it going, the regularity etc.. I can't comment on - but it's certainly been good for me just to cut my use down by say half, so those of you staying on that wagon all the way, blessing !!!
 
Pharcyde said:
I have utterly failed at Ocsober....

well yeah I hada few days but yeah utter failure
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i've struggled also friend, if TDS continues to do this though I really would like to prepare myself mentally for it and go harder... head up bro, it's a brutal world and we have to deal with the demons all the time :\ . Best of luck :)
 
theartofwar said:
i've struggled also friend, if TDS continues to do this though I really would like to prepare myself mentally for it and go harder... head up bro, it's a brutal world and we have to deal with the demons all the time :\ . Best of luck :)
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I agree with you that it's a fantastic support group we've got going in here. But realistically, we don't need to do an official "sober month" for us to all try and stay sober. We can do it anytime, and involve anyone, or just do it ourselves. Perhaps one of the purposes of this exercise is to show ourselves that we CAN do it, to whatever degree we feel is appropriate for us, for however long we can/want to, to give us the confidence in ourselves that we CAN in fact be sober! <3
 
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