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Octsober, The october 14 gettn and stayn sober thread

Erikmen said:
As I said before, will say it again: Keep it up!
I can see, from your conclusions, that you are doing well, elaborating your thoughts and comments quite smoothly.
The path you have to go through could be insanely long, however, you are not under a table list. Just keep in mind that you have a life time to achieve your goals.
So keep on doing it, little by little, baby steps.
As long as your moving forward, even if you feel the opposite, you already know what works for you.
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I appreciate your kind words erikmen. I still don't feel like I express myself thru written words as well I would like, but I can tell that it is getting better - I am regaining my mental faculties.

Baby steps are still steps in the right direction and I'm happy with that.
 
That´s perfect! I´m glad I could help. You can always send me a PM if you want.
 
yep.. 24 more down all good people<3

goodnight.gif
 
Great job everyone, Azure Cloud... wow! I have seen some tremendous growth over the past few months.

Me? Well for the past two days I have had a bad case of the "mores" and the "its not coming fast enough"...

I want more of this and that, more attention, more money, more clothes, more more more

My gains are not coming fast enough, growth in relationships not coming fast enough, progress not coming fast enough...

Obviously, this takes me out of living for today/living in the moment. The great part is that I actually recognize this nowadays, often in the moment. When that happens I try to just "turn it over", acknowledge that I am indeed not the center of the universe and that I am not in control of the world. I never did stuff like this before, and for me its very very liberating.
 
10 weeks for me today! My energy is stabilizing, and I'm starting to feel optimistic again. Walked my dog a mile this morning, and made plans to see a friend tomorrow. It feels like I'm coming out of a long hibernation. Thanks for all the help!
 
Still doing good, constantly wanting to work out and am really starting to try to make myself the center of attention. Its a novel thing for me (well I haven't been this way for a long long time) but I have to be careful with it.

Like all things, its best in moderation.

Managing behaviors and defects is much harder then just stopping the use of drugs.
 
Oh yeah... no nicotine in 5 days.... yeah boyyyyy

sorry, I am in a great fucking mood today. Its so good to be clean!
 
Day 22 off of heroin for me and honestly my whole life has turned around. In the past two weeks I've got full marks in the classes I was flunking (if I wasn't too sick to attend I was nodding out in the corner), I've got a job, I'm eating healthy and exercising, and I just feel so much fucking better! Now I just have to kick the cigs and the coffee, theres the next challenge.

We're all gonna make it <3
 
njirem said:
dont overdo it, sigs and cofee can wait :)
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My thoughts exactly. I'm having far too much fun smoking and drinking coffee to quit anytime soon - other than that sobriety just feels SO fucking good, I don't want to jeopardise it by doing anything wrong. Any tips from anyone who has been sober longer than me on staying sober? I feel like I'm floating on the oft-claimed "pink cloud", and I'm a little concerned about having to come back to reality.
 
I've been clean for 75 days. I'm feeling so much better, but I really wish I had the pink cloud every once in awhile. I feel like I white-knuckled through the first 6 weeks, and since then I've been just trying to rebuild my health and stamina. I'm a little better every day, but I would LOVE a day when I felt on top of the world. As for staying sober, my greatest motivators are 1) I want to be healthy; 2) I don't EVER want to have to go through withdrawals again. Every time is worse than the last. This time was the first time I made it past 5 days. I lost the entire month of August to withdrawal symptoms. I can't do that again. I know that deep in my soul, and it keeps all thoughts of drug-seeking out of my head.

Enjoy the pink cloud while it lasts, Rio!
 
Still chipping away at the diazepam habit, down to 10mg now.

Used codeine on a couple of days last week because I kept dislocating my shoulder, bit disappointed in myself though because I could have sucked it up and managed without. On the other hand maybe it was a reminder I needed because it only took a few days of using for pain reasons (well, that's what I was telling myself) before I was waking up with getting opiates being the first thing on my mind.

Wish I could just quit the benzos and be done with it but I wouldn't be able to attend uni and do my work.
 
wanting said:
I've been clean for 75 days. I'm feeling so much better, but I really wish I had the pink cloud every once in awhile. I feel like I white-knuckled through the first 6 weeks, and since then I've been just trying to rebuild my health and stamina. I'm a little better every day, but I would LOVE a day when I felt on top of the world. As for staying sober, my greatest motivators are 1) I want to be healthy; 2) I don't EVER want to have to go through withdrawals again. Every time is worse than the last. This time was the first time I made it past 5 days. I lost the entire month of August to withdrawal symptoms. I can't do that again. I know that deep in my soul, and it keeps all thoughts of drug-seeking out of my head.

Enjoy the pink cloud while it lasts, Rio!
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Just wait until you get around 6 months to a year, world of difference. Hitting 90 is pretty good too. But I actually only now at 5 1/2 months clean really feel like my neurochemistry is coming back together. I get naturally happy again, sometimes for no reason. Its really nice. Its really cool to feel warm and good when you see people you know and enjoy talking to them. Seeing loved ones is some other level stuff. I honestly forgot what it felt like to love. I cared deeply, but I didn't really love per say.
 
I once heard the pink cloud is part of the dopamine flood that happens. I've also heard it's denial. Who knows and who cares, but it's very cool we get to experience it.
Mine is evaporating also, but I can paint it every day! :)
 
Smoky said:
I once heard the pink cloud is part of the dopamine flood that happens. I've also heard it's denial. Who knows and who cares, but it's very cool we get to experience it.
Mine is evaporating also, but I can paint it every day! :)
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How long did it take you to "come down" so to speak? And i'm not sure if what I'm feeling is just my normal return to sobriety (I haven't gone this long without drugs for at least three years), my bipolar messing my mind up (I've gone from suicidal to euphoric and back multiple times in a day, although it seems to be evening out at just pretty happy most of the time) or this "pink cloud" effect. Either way I fucking love life again and I'm very happy about thatl
 
Yeah, me too on drugs … almost 3 years. This time.
I only have 2 months (in 2 days) clean now. I was on a brain high feeling very hyper for about a month even though my body was dragging, my brain was racing… was feeling pretty good. Now, I'm just feeling kinda flat. No ups, nor big down (except when my pain kicks in, have spinal problems). So I am really pushing myself to do things and stay active. Painting that pink cloud - so to speak. I think the roller coaster ride of addiction exhausted my system SO MUCH, that feeling normal seems very foreign to me.

I was contemplating suicide for a while also, but this is passing.

I am very grateful to not have to use to live my life. Things seem so easy to do, it's almost scary.. Just kinda floating along, working… sleeping, recovery. Not much stress.
 
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