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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

octSOBER - let's do this!

^ keep it up dude, you'll have a small fortune before you know it :)

I went to a meeting out of town tonight, a member of my home group called me during work and invited me to tag along to his sponsor's 30 year anniversary :O I almost cried three times, sometimes people say things in meetings that my heart can't block out and that's when I know I'm doing the right thing.

I also talked to some women about sponsoring me, I'll be collecting my 6 month tag on the 22nd and at this point, I really do need one. Even if it's a short term thing, it'll be better than nothing, because at this point I'm pretty much where I left off when i relapsed.

Anyways, keep up the hard work guys, it's good to know that I'm not the only one fighting the good fight.

<3
 
Keep it up pastel. 6 months is blue tag. Blue like the basic text which you should be reading. Blue like the sky because in recovery the sky is the limit :)
 
If you lived closer to my area id buy you a half a cake for your 6 months as is tradition in my area
 
Oh, that's still kind of awesome, maybe I should eh, recommend it :) haha, I would buy you 3/4 quarters of a cake and a pregnancy test, they say something about being pregnant with recovery when they pass out 9 month tags..
 
I wish I was doing as great as you all!

It's truly inspiring. I keep failing, but looking at everyone being successful makes me motivated.
 
I had a little cave today, I ran out of weed and then found two strips of codeine and some valium, and I convinced myself that the universe obviously wanted me to get high :/ Sorry to let the side down, I'll be back on the horse tomorrow. hthr007, obviously the "all in it together" thing we have is great, but don't get hung up on what others are doing, you're in this for your own objectives, just try to reach those.
 
^happens to the best of us.

i've been really struggling with reducing my benzo use. At this point i am getting bad rebound anxiety when i stop, which is obviously a sign of trouble. My poppy seed tea intake is stable but i go into withdrawal each and every day for 2-3 hours when i wake up. To top it off i am also sick, luckily poppy tea covers most of it up but it's still there. I'm kind of at the point where i could end up with a benzo dependence again and i really don't want that but i can't just have a huge panic attack at work. I guess i will have to challenge myself to get used to going to my horrible job and dealing with the anxiety. Thankfully, it's just a short term job but i feel like i'm going to end up with a polydrug addiction by the end of it.
 
Well if i am pregnant you can come with me on oprahs show as i would be the first REAL pregnant man. :P
 
Fucked up and had some beers tonight. Still haven't smoked any weed and don't intend to. Back on that horse tomorrow.

Hope you all are doing well. <3
 
Serotonin101 said:
Well if i am pregnant you can come with me on oprahs show as i would be the first REAL pregnant man. :P
Click to expand...

Hey, serotonin, we could go on Oprah together because after the school took pictures of me for the yearbook everybody said I look pregnant. At 58, sans uterus, that would be quite the medical miracle!
NSFW:



And to everybody in this thread, remember: you are being successful because you are trying. Period.<3
 
Went to an AA meeting tonight with a friend of mine (she invited me). Was fine going in, came out wanting to get high so bad. There was this tension in the car as she drove me home in that all it would have taken would have been for one of us to say the word and it would haven be on. We both kept saying "this sucks" and "I want to get high so bad...but I can't." She dropped me off and left, so that's good. But now I'm home and the battle is really getting intense inside of my own head.
 
The wedding was a success. My friends got married and I didn't drink anything even though there were times other friends were drinking and I really wanted a beer or glass of red wine with our dinner.
 
^That's a huge accomplishment, Priest.:) One of the things that is nice in that kind of situation is that you realize that you can be celebratory and participate in things that typically include alcohol without having them be dependent on alcohol.

Did you cry? I'm not even a huge believer in marriage and I cry at everyone.:\
 
No I did not cry. :) I am happy for my friends they had been in a relationship for awhile, and are very compatible.

I didn't drink since one drink would have had me drink more, there was an open bar, and I had to drive.

I stopped drinking this year on my own, but I don't like hangovers or feeling buzzed or drunk anymore.

I had fun dancing and seeing friends who I hadn't seen in a very long time.
 
In two days I'll have 2 clean months under my belt again, but in the last days I feel the cravings slowly creeping back into my psyche. A few days ago I even dreamed about copping some Heroin again, something that I didn't experience since I went to rehab last summer. So I guess OctSober is my project, too. It's great to work on this aim with such honest and determined folks :) Hope you are doing well, I'll go to sleep now! <3
 
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