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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

octSOBER - let's do this!

mmm i'm still salivating from a delicious meal;;; not prepared by yours truly obviously.... two glasses of wine;;; watched a good/crazy work of the 7th art, which led to beer and indulgence, oh well, still here to type,,,, still sober even though i had a few, cross tolerance n that,,,, 1 benzo left,,, what to do
 
One slip up by me, I actually put myself in a position that could have been much worse.

It was the GF and my 13 year anerversery, we were well drunk when we got together so for some stupid reason we celebrated with a beer. I'm proud of myself because I kept it to one, but disappointed because I just couldent say no.
It made the rest of the afternoon agony, should I have another one, or not??

Because I've been drinking a lot less than usual I feel slightly hungover today, slept like shit (it was a big beer, 7.5% pint).
Usually I'd smash another 6-8 and feel fine the next day.

Damn, makes me feel old. And I'm only in my late 20's.
 
once i get that compulsive thought of 'should i or shouldn't i?" there's no hope for me. I've been stable with my ativan dose lately which is good because i will run out early this month anyway. PST doses are about half of what's normal for me. I've been feeling a bit better this week so maybe my decrease in my regular drugs has helped. I will have to seriously be careful about not eating a ton of benzos for the weekend, especially with thanksgiving here in Canada.
 
I'm doing the exact same aswell. Having a month off stimulants (MDMA etc) and heavy boozing. I've still been having the odd beer after dinner but that's all. I probably will find it hard to avoid a couple of dissociative missions but that's about it, think I've pretty much conquered ever needing benzo's and I'm not too fussed for a regular smoke these days, although I will be investing in some over december.
 
Tonight makes a week since I took any K or MXE. I know that's not a long time, but these things are all relative!
 
^ Good job Vader. It may not be a long time, but for me anyway, initially stopping is one of the biggest hurdles so well done :)

Roger&Me said:
Wow, I have my normal appetite back and it feels great. For almost a decade I wouldn't get hungry at all unless I smoked some weed, and my stomach hurt if I tried to force down some food without it. Well I just pigged out on a huge chicken sammich, french fries, and and an iced tea and I feel great. :D

Its literally been about 8 years since I've gone this long without smoking. I'm pumped up to keep going.

And hai mel! :)
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Why hello there Roger my buddy ;)

It's amazing how quickly you've seen such improvements! Should definitely help motivate you to keep going, and you seem very positive about it all. Good work, I think you'll do very well.

I have gone without weed today, and I've started tapering off the diazepam. I'm trying to do it as quickly as possible, so we'll see how that goes. I will get off, I just hope it's not too long and drawn out. I hate the process of quitting. I hate tapering, I just want it done already. My doses aren't too high, and I haven't been messing with it for too long so I think I should be fine, but I've never had an issue with benzos before so I just don't know what to expect.
 
I think I will join, too. I successfully tapered off a sizable oxy/morphine dependency, but this week I have overdone it with tramadol, and I am paying for it. I will not get my small script for oxy (for true pain issues, but not enough to get me physically dependent again) until October 21 I think, but in the meantime I have had moments of desperately looking around to see if I can find anything that will alter my conciousness a little.

So, I commit to stopping that behavior and when I get my script filled in a few weeks I commit to taking it responsibly.
 
I'm gonna get in on this. I've been an everyday drinker for about a year and a half and lately it seems like I need a buzz to feel fulfilled at night. I've also started getting drunk during the day when I am off of work, which is kinda weird. I guess I'm still able to function (which is why I haven't yet made a serious attempt at quitting), but I don't like how dependent I am and I don't like how I can't engage in productive relaxation activities (reading, watching a movie that requires some effort on my part, etc.) once I drink at night. Also, I almost exclusively drink alone; it's not usually a social activity for me. Basically, I feel like alcohol is diminishing my potential and preventing me from really living.

Long story short, I've needed a structured way to take a break from alcohol for a while, so I'm looking forward to this.



Oh, I'd also like to quit sugar, because whenever I'm not taking some substance at night I replace it with like a pint of fucking ice cream.
 
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It's great to hear everyone on this thread so motivated. I'm not quite sure what to do. Well I haven't used oxy nor xanax in about 5 weeks and those were my two main problems so that's good - and I can't get them now that I've moved to England anyway. It's been about a week/ten days since I last used opiates (or anything at all other than alcohol or cigarettes) but I felt like I was using responsibly so I don't know whether or not to try and stay clean...I know there's no such thing as really responsible use but I guess I'm not ready to let go entirely - now that I think of it I'm mostly afraid to fail :(
Anyway, will keep you posted on my progress.
 
I'm an absolute late starter, but I am going to completely abstain from heroin use for the remainder of this month. I've been chipping over the last several weeks to deleterious results, so if Octsober will catalyze a lifetime free of opiates I will be pleased; if it means I will get another month away from the mother of all fuckers then that is well an fine too. I would like to extend this commitment to all opioids, and I'm going to try, but realistically I may relent to a few doses of morphine on occasion. I will also try to curb my alcohol intake. I wish I could smoke a little weed to balance the scales somewhat, but I need a job sorely.

Good luck everyone. Every day is a success unto itself.
 
Okay, I kinda suck.

I've smoked weed the last two nights which I'm not happy with, but I have been going really well with the benzos - tapering, and looking forward to being off this shit.

mrflowers00 - that sucks man, but shit happens. Pick yourself up and try again with us, it's still the start of the month :)
 
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I'm down!

I've been clean for all of October so far and then some

Good luck, guys!

:)
 
Okay, I kinda suck.
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No, you're fine, you made a little mistake, you get back on that horse. Same to you flowers, it must be hard but it can be done, don't get into splitting, it's not the end of the world, it's a little bump in the road.

o hai jj
 
I am on board for this.....today is ONE YEAR CLEAN for me....Don't let a mistake be THE END. You get your ass back up and do it again. We always say in my home group DID IT ONCE, DO IT TWICE. You fall down, you get back up. I was just saying on another post that these drugs are KILLING us. If someone was standing in front of you with a knife, wanting to kill you, you wouldn't just stand there. You would FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE!! I refuse to give my life to these nasty drugs.....they almost got me once. Never a second. Congrats to all who have clean time under their belt.....even if it's just the first hour...YOU CAN DO THIS SHIT!!! GO!!!!
 
Quit smoking cigarettes about a month ago.

Quit doing every drug besides marijuana back in Feb. Have only used my suboxone and MJ since then, and am weaning off suboxone (currently at 2m). Hope to be off the suboxone by december (1 year).

I am also currently trying to quit smoking weed in its entirety. And its hard as fuck for me. I no longer smoke every day and when I do, its not insane amounts. A DIME (0.5g) can last me 4 days. And my life has drastically improved in the past year, so I'm not going to go crazy about it. Baby steps.

But god would I like to be totally sober, my brain operating at full speed and capacity ALL the time. I'll take what I can though: so thankful I can smoke 0.1G of bud for a day, and no longer expending all of my time/energy on getting fucked up.

The fact that I'll be able to buy my sister a birthday gift for her birthday on the 18th is so astounding to me that its like.....

I'm so thankful. Would I like to be 100% sober? Yes absolutely. But as they say "one thing at a time". I can deal with a tiny bit of pot now, and I'd rather have to deal with that then totally go off my chain. Or deal with that than go through my suboxone weaning a bit miserable. I don't spend all of my time/money on marijuana. My normal day does not revolve solely around smoking pot, although I do have my off days, which is the main reason I would like to quit. To maintain moderation over something as seemingly benign as marijuana is a great effort on my part, and that energy COULD be better expended. To be honest, I"m happier I quit smoking cigarettes than the marijuana. Cigarettes were slowly killing me. Are all of these things justifications? Perhaps, but progress IS progress I suppose, so no real complaints!

To everyone else trying to stay sober this month (or at the very least, their definition of "clean"), keep it up! Hopefully I will have quit smoking marijuana by the end of october to boot, but oh well. Beggars cant be choosers I guess, although I can keep putting in the work!

I'm happy with myself and my life, but I am also happy to continue to improve both.

If you can say that, regardless of all else, your OctSober is going very well.
 
Been feeling kind of crabby today, just annoyed by mundane stuff... although I guess that's just life. people are supposed to have good days and bad days, and being totally sober has taught me how artificial it is to be constantly medicating every little bad mood away. sometimes you just have to keep going and actually put an effort into brightening your own mood. kinda sad that such a basic life skill is such an alien notion to me.

but my overall attitude is still one of optimism, and i'm very thankful to have these 6 sober days under my belt. feels good to be sober, even when my mood isn't acutely jubilant.

again, good luck to everyone :)
 
I love what you said. Everything is so true! I have one year clean today, we talked earlier about it, and it is amazing to have my brain going "full speed" but it can also be a scary thing to experience after being high for a long time. Don't let it scare you....when it hit me like a shit ton of bricks, and my head cleared up I wasn't sure how to handle it. It almost scared me back into relapse. I don't even know how to explain it. It was a great feeling to have a clear head, but it also scared me. I wasn't sure what to do with it at first. Just me mindful of that. Good luck to you man <3
 
I celebrated 9 months clean on the 5th from all drugs. It can be done. Need to make a "no shave november" thread so us guys can post progress pics of our beards through the month XD maybe spice it up by dying your beard different colors :D
 
Hope everyone is still doing well and staying positive. :) <3

I never realized just how much freaking money I've been spending on pot, beer, random other drugs from time to time, etc (good pot is actually an extremely expensive product). Its only been a week and I literally feel rich, I'm actually starting a small savings for the first time in my life. This whole process has been so positive for me, I wish I had done it a long time ago (but that's just life, I guess).

Again, good luck to all you guys!
 
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