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OctSOBER - Getting/Staying Clean Thread

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stardust.hero said:
Sometimes that's what you have to do. Especially since you just spent so much time working up getting clean moe.



You really need to reconsider seeing that person. Atleast for the first week until you get some of your footing back. You're really vulnerable and having zero days under your belt will just help you convince yourself to start tomorrow instead of today, and the pattern will continue. Commit to one day of sobriety and distance yourself until you have a few days of progress. That will hopefully set you up for success. <3 You have us all behind you on this.

Day 59 for me
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After the orgiastic behavior was over, I forced her to understand we would under no uncertain terms be seeing each other again until we both had 1 year clean from opiates. I have a feeling she will not respect this and contact me anyway, probably under the guise of getting drugs as well, since that's how she gets me to spend time w/ her. She knows it's worked in the past, and she either has a crush or possibly deeper feelings for me, even though I've made it markedly clear I've never wanted a relationship, she uses the drugs as a way to get alone time w/ me. She wants to get high too, I'm sure. So, yet another instance of changing my phone number may be in my future. I know it is so significant in the here and now I get this 24 hours behind me so I can begin suffering. My friend suggested I turn off my phone for 24 hours, and I think it may be a good idea.

Stardust, I can't tell you how happy I was to find out you've been clean since the last time I was on BL. Very proud of you, and relieved as well.
 
stardust.hero said:
Thanks Pagey love, Day 60!!!! =D.

So happy to hear you are in such a positive place with your cravings Pagey, 34 days is serious, I can see the reasoning behind why you are starting to feel better though ;).
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Wooh 60 days is so fantastic =D <3

And thanks! To be honest came very close to an opiate relapse last night, even went so far as having the drugs right in front of me but I didn't and I'm definitely not regretting that today. So day 35 :)

Have a good day everyone <3
 
caseface99 said:
I am familiar with proper sleep hygiene, but I suppose I could try harder to implement it.

As for melatonin, it didn't work in the past but then I suppose when I tried it last was within weeks of getting clean, maybe it was too soon for anything to help. Worth trying again definitely.
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Try microgram doses of melatonin. The amount typically sold in stores is extreme overkill. A friend of mine just started taking lower doses of melatonin, and he was surprised to find that it actually worked for him, when it didn't before on higher doses.
 
motherofearth said:
After the orgiastic behavior was over, I forced her to understand we would under no uncertain terms be seeing each other again until we both had 1 year clean from opiates. I have a feeling she will not respect this and contact me anyway, probably under the guise of getting drugs as well, since that's how she gets me to spend time w/ her. She knows it's worked in the past, and she either has a crush or possibly deeper feelings for me, even though I've made it markedly clear I've never wanted a relationship, she uses the drugs as a way to get alone time w/ me. She wants to get high too, I'm sure. So, yet another instance of changing my phone number may be in my future. I know it is so significant in the here and now I get this 24 hours behind me so I can begin suffering. My friend suggested I turn off my phone for 24 hours, and I think it may be a good idea.

Stardust, I can't tell you how happy I was to find out you've been clean since the last time I was on BL. Very proud of you, and relieved as well.
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ios7 have the option to block certain numbers without changing yours right from the setting menu, you have an iphone right? You should try that if you don't want to change your phone number or you need to have your phone on.

Also, dude use lope for the first 3 days if you're going to get sick. It'll work similar to suboxone, you can count your lope days. It's progress not perfection.

:) And thanks about my days. <3 I am relieved as well. I've missed you while you were gone <3. Glad you're back. Don't go getting yourself all messed up again so you have to leave again!!

And Day 61 for me.
 
^^ That's AWESOME Wrangler! Keep it up!


Day 160 for me. Keep it up everybody!

Time for me to figure out something to do today.. Not sure..
 
stardust.hero said:
ios7 have the option to block certain numbers without changing yours right from the setting menu, you have an iphone right? You should try that if you don't want to change your phone number or you need to have your phone on.

Also, dude use lope for the first 3 days if you're going to get sick. It'll work similar to suboxone, you can count your lope days. It's progress not perfection.

:) And thanks about my days. <3 I am relieved as well. I've missed you while you were gone <3. Glad you're back. Don't go getting yourself all messed up again so you have to leave again!!

And Day 61 for me.
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Well I missed you too dustyhead. Thanks for the revelation about blocking numbers; I'll be looking into that soon, as I have an iPhone 4. I only recently learned how to use it like an iPod and that's been a big improvement in my life.

As far as the lope goes, I've experienced very nominal relief, but the last time I took it I started w/ 20 mgs and just got a stomach ache and no help. I think I remember you saying it is good to start there and then every 4 hours take 10 mgs as needed. Is that a dosage you'd recommend? I mean, I'm by no means expecting a golden goose, but some recognizable respite from the torment would be oh so fine.
 
Lustmord said:
16! My sobriety just got its driver's license. :)
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Nice :) those two numbers go together hehe <3 It's a sign! Awesome work!

ad lib said:
I'm doing okay - I didn't start the Xanax taper with clonazepam yet because of that incident - so, hopefully next month I'll be able to.

It just feels like I'm stuck in a nightmare.
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Ugh, I know exactly what nightmare you speak of. My boyfriend is in the exact same one as you, and he's basically run out (with 1-5 days of possibly having to go without--he's going to have to do something about it very soon). You'll be in a good place soon, you have it all setup, it's just a waiting game now...but atleast it's not uncertainly holding you back. You know what you need to do to work towards getting better and you have that plan in place. Keep your head up love <3.

smokemctoke420 said:
Well I fucked up and ended up drinking last night. I feel like a big ball of shit, not to mention that still being depressed if not more depressed then I already was Friday and Saturday. The last place I wanna be is work right now.
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spork said:
^Go easy on yourself, relapse happens to most of us. Today is a new day and you can allow yourself the fresh start that you deserve.

Things will even out for you soon, I know they will. <3
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They will even out 420, it was a minor slip-up and you'll have to pay (you are at the moment) a price but it's a lesson learned and hopefully it'll be the last time you have to learn that lesson. <3 Always keep trying because one day your trying will stick and you won't have to try anymore, you'll just have to do. (corny but true). So don't be hard on yourself.


smokemctoke420 said:
Yeah I know. I shouldn't have given in but I couldn't get it out of my head all weekend.

Still haven't done opiates since the 7th of October so I guess its 13 days or something like that.
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And yes, you still have a lot to celebrate for. 13 days is phenomenal <3.


And since pictures are fun, I thought this one was appropriate. One day we will be free, of even the thought.

615865faddc59fee.jpg
 
@ Spork- Indeed it is. Thanks you <3

@ Pagey- That's how i relapsed at day 6. got free oxy. now i don't middle man for a quick buck lol. good job and keep it going. <3

@ Stardust.hero- In response to the iphone thing. Yeah, you can block numbers but you have to wanna not call them as well cuz they are stored in your settings. i even got a new i phone cuz i broke my old one in a fit of rage due to having only a few days clean and being very frustrated, anyways, i got a neweone and changed my number and all the blocked numbers were still there. so i guess you should just change your number and unblock those numbers and delete so you dont have to see them. i just did that right now.

Thank you so much for the reply about my slip up. that really IS what i needed to hear, just some reassurance that the world is not over. <3

i feel damn good today. its going on day 3 of no alcohol, tommorrow is day 1 of no weed but it should have been today. found a little nug in a cig pack and smoked a rip and got a rip for before bed but thats a big decline from my usual sessions so tommorrow is day 1. and the icing on the cake.. today is day 15 no opiates
i got a piss test friday for the sub program and then i should be ready to submit my paper worl and get on the 3 week, possibly more or less long waiting list. but i got 24 8mgs for right now and can get more from my sister whenever, i just gotta make a 3 hour trip to baltimore.

anyways, good job everyone! keep up the good work!
 
I told my girlfriend about my relapse (stole adderall from her friend at a party). She was hurt, especially because I hid it from her for three weeks. She started going to al-anon meetings, which is rad. She's a keeper.
 
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