nothing

So I guess what we do, what we feel, what we write and experience really means nothing.

I guess its just for us as individuals. Whatever impact, for good or bad, on others doesn't mean a thing.

So life never happened? Its real to me and it has to be for something.

When I die, yeah, I would like to be remembered, preferably in a positive manner.

Its not gonna happen.

My experiences, feelings and actions apparently aren't to be shared.

So its true? I never agreed with the statement 'we live alone' but I guess it is true that we do in fact die alone.

Fuck that! My life MEANS SOMETHING, mother fuckers... we ALL have value... all of this isn't for nothing.

We live, we learn, we die. Hopefully we help others somewhere in that process

 

We make the meaning in our lives; they have no meaning in and of themselves. By our contact with others, we ensure that we will be remembered.

Peace to you.

 

Thanks, Dave. I was in a confused and angry state when I typed that. I have some perspective now.

Here's the deal... as you know, my brother was recently found dead in his trailer. My parents and other brother drove to TN from PA to 'get things in order'. Well, what they did was simply scatter his remains behind the trailer and bring a couple of his personal belongings home.

Basically, from what I know, they left his life back in that trailer.

They don't want a memorial service or funeral.

I have a problem with all of this on many levels but, I can't do anything about other people's actions. I can only do me.

Part of my issue is self-centered. What happens if I die before my parents? Will this also be kept hush-hush? Will anyone have the opportunity to remember my good and bad? I realize after just simplifying it all that it really doesn't matter. All I can do is the next right thing and, when I die, I die. None of that will really matter. I've done some awful things and I've done some good things. I don't need to concern myself on how other's respond to my death if I focus on doing the right things for the right reason.

Ego fucked with me. The reality is, I'm doing okay for myself RIGHT NOW. I'm doing VERY okay for myself. Inner peace feels better than any of the feelings I've felt before.

Yeah, it hurts and is confusing that my parents acted in that manner but, they are grieving and I don't know what's going through their minds or hearts. They refused to let me go with them to help so its all really out of my hands.

I WILL be setting up a get together at the bar Rick, myself and all the old crew used to hang at to just reconnect and shoot the shit with everyone. It has to be done and I certainly won't be drinking!

You are right... I truly think I will be remembered by some folks when I go. I still suspect that I won't be leaving this life for quite sometime and I am actually okay with that.

What a change!

You're good people, man and I'm glad to have 'met' you.

 

I agree that it's a bit sketchy what they did, but I think that you have the right attitude. They did what they needed to do, and you're going to do what you need to do.

Oh, and likewise I hope that you'll be able to get what you need from the memorial/reunion; I think that you will.