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not coming during intercourse... does this happen to you men?

I rarely cum during sex. 1 out of 10 times or less.

Some of the best sex of my life has been without ejaculation.

I think some girls have felt uncomfortable about it despite my affirmations that "its not them, its just how I operate" and oftentimes it prevents the awkward finish before she gets off.

I'm not on any drugs, thats just how it is, I think its some strange mental blocks that I still haven't been able to directly comprehend or name.
 
It's bothering me SO FUCKING MUCH THAT THERE'S A TYPO IN THE TITLE.

But... we had sex today, the first time since the last time, and he did come and it was awesome sex. :D
 
I'm extremely happy to hear about your most recent encounter.

Because I have just read through this entire thread for the first time, and I was ABOUT to post:

"Don't even THINK about it if it's only happened once - any thinking about it that you do, in my opinion, would be counter-productive."

As has been mentioned earlier, some guys don't cum from intercourse 100% of the time (I would bet that MOST cum less than 80% of the time, ESPECIALLY with a relatively-new partner, if you factor in condoms, alcohol and other chemicals, tiredness, nervousness, stress in overall life, a bazillion things I'm forgetting).

And EVEN IF, hypothetically, it became it long-term problem, don't EVER blame yourself.

If you're in any doubt, communicate.

And only date people who you trust will communicate with you, when communication is necessary.

Happy for you. :)
 
out of the last 100+ times i have had sex i have probably cum a total of 5 times....THANKS HEROIN/DILAUDID!
 
as a guy, i'd always prefer she come and i didn't than vice versa. so at a certain point, most guys have had to train themselves to avoid coming during intercourse . . i can see that being a big part of this as well.

if i can get it up, i can come the first time. but i often go straight into round two, and then i can go for hours without getting anywhere close.
 
During sex I can come pretty much whenever I want unless the girl is too wet and loose after having sex for over an hour that I can't even feel anything anymore. Alot has to do with your head. If you can clear your mind and not worry about coming, and thrust as hard and as fast as you can for a minute in the most stimulating position for you (doggy style for me), you should be able to come no problem.

My bigger problem is its very very hard for me to come from a blowjob. They just don't feel that great to me for some reason. Maybe the girls I've been with just aren't that great but they say they've never had a problem with it before (luckily none have had self esteem issues and don't take it to heart). It still sucks though because during sex, lasting a long time can be a bonus but when you're getting head you want to come after a few minutes or you might make the girl feel inadequate.

Edit: If your girl can talk "dirty" to you during, that helps me personally. Even when she screams that she's gonna have a huge orgasm soon and you're so good, that usually gets me really hot. It might create more pressure for you though, so think it through and if you decide it might help, start talking to her during first so she gets the hint.
 
Yeah we haven't had any problems since that one incident. He usually can't come the second time we have sex, but he does the first time. He told me that he usually tries to hold out on a long time to make it better for me.

I was able to talk to him about it, which was weird, but in a good way, so I'm not worried about it anymore. :)
 
I very rarely cum. I have to pump like 1000mph and have to tense every muscle in my body. I fake it most of the time and jerk off when she leaves. For some reason though oriental girls are like super tight and I bust almost instantly. It's weird. They must have very tiny vaginas or something. I am slightly above regular size (about 7 1/2" long) and width I would say so its not that I'm small and regular girls aren;t tight enough, but it just takes forever for some reason. Don't take it personal. Some guys like me take forever.


The good news for the girls is usually my super fast hard pumping gets them off. Once they cum I pretend I did and they get all gittty we came together.
 
Yeah, its happened to me a few times. It sucks because i try to tell my girlfriend that it has nothing to do with her(which it really doesn't), but she takes it personally.
 
Sometimes I blow my load in less than a minute. Sometimes I don't blow it at all. I wish my penis was more consistent. I used to pretty much be able to cum whenever I wanted. Recently I've been going too quick. This could be due to the fact I haven't been steady with someone for a while. It feels most likely like a mental problem that I can't really find the solution to. Maybe certain drug use has altered my ability to perform while sober.:p
 
Depends on the position really. It's happened before. It'd be happy to go a 2nd round but having only been with one women who was never really up for it the chance hasn't occurred more then once or twice.

Hell some times I'd rather go a position that'll get her off but not me and then explore those multiple orgasms :P I need a SO with a good libido.
 
ZeroFries said:
During sex I can come pretty much whenever I want unless the girl is too wet and loose after having sex for over an hour that I can't even feel anything anymore. Alot has to do with your head. If you can clear your mind and not worry about coming, and thrust as hard and as fast as you can for a minute in the most stimulating position for you (doggy style for me), you should be able to come no problem.

My bigger problem is its very very hard for me to come from a blowjob. They just don't feel that great to me for some reason. Maybe the girls I've been with just aren't that great but they say they've never had a problem with it before (luckily none have had self esteem issues and don't take it to heart). It still sucks though because during sex, lasting a long time can be a bonus but when you're getting head you want to come after a few minutes or you might make the girl feel inadequate.

Edit: If your girl can talk "dirty" to you during, that helps me personally. Even when she screams that she's gonna have a huge orgasm soon and you're so good, that usually gets me really hot. It might create more pressure for you though, so think it through and if you decide it might help, start talking to her during first so she gets the hint.
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haha i am pretty much exactly the same.

i can usually come 9 times out of 10 but my gf and i have been going out for almost 5 years now, so we know exactly how turn each other on. the times i cant is when i am wearing a condom (because she has forgotten to take a pill) or i am really drunk. usually when we are stoned sex is amazing.

i cant come easily when wearing a condom, having natural sex for a long time has gotten me used to the sensitivity and condoms just destroy it for me.

but i rarely can come off blowjobs, unless my gf goes down on me for about 20min which i usually feel bad about her doing so usually we just keep oral sex for foreplay instead of making each other come.

dont feel bad about it, sometimes it just doesnt happen for an unknown reason. the more you know your partner the better the sex will get, after 5 years of sex with the same partner i get turned on more and more every time - i suppose i am quite lucky.
 
mrs_mia_wallace said:
My boyfriend and I have had sex twice. The first time he came pretty easily... that was two days ago. Today we had sex, literally intercourse for about 45 minutes and he could not come. This has never happened to me before... is this normal?? lol.
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YES THIS SHOULD BE NORMAL. I get EXTREMELY offended when the Guy cums quickly or easily. if he dosent cum I could honestly worry less, when sex is good who the heck wants to stop nun the less cum.

what a bust when hes a minute man!!
Shame on you for complaning you should take advantage of his ability
 
yeah. but only when im doped out. otherwise you can blame it on a bad mindset or some terrible sex.
 
I rarely cum during sex. 1 out of 10 times or less.

Some of the best sex of my life has been without ejaculation.
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Me too. I much prefer to make her come a few times before I even think about doing it, and when I do it will be on my terms (I choose when / where, usually in her mouth)
 
Sometimes it takes my guy 5 minutes to come, sometimes we go at it for 2 hours & he doesn't come & I pass out, we wake up the next morning, start up again, and THEN he comes. Or sometimes he doesn't. It's really no big deal, just like how I don't care if I come but it's still freaking awesome if I do. Sex is great regardless of whether or not either one of us orgasms.

But I'm guessing he's thinking of making me come (or just plain lasting longer for me) before he thinks of himself. It just seems to be what he goes for most of the time.

Man that kinda makes me feel special <3 :)
 
Monkeybizness said:
YES THIS SHOULD BE NORMAL. I get EXTREMELY offended when the Guy cums quickly or easily. if he dosent cum I could honestly worry less, when sex is good who the heck wants to stop nun the less cum.
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That's a bit rough, Monkeybizness! It depends on the day for me. Sometimes it might be as quick as a few minutes, other times close to an hour and if we're really in the mood...hours. But the thing is, most of us guys don't have as much control over it as you seem to think. I know some guys do have real issues coming too quick. It's not their fault and so there's no reason to feel offended. Sometimes I've got no idea why I'm not lasting as long as normal...but if it's been a couple of days without any release, usually the next one will be pretty quick.

Depending on the guy, if he's blown within a couple of minutes then give him 10 more and he'll be ready to go again, only longer. This is more true the younger they are!

As for not worrying less if the guy doesn't come...that's a bit rough too! Poor guy! Isn't he allowed to get satisfaction as well, or is it all about you? ;)

But all of this suggests that for most people in this thread discussing problems with guys coming too quick might need to also include other stuff beyond vaginal sex. If that's all that sex is - or you get to that right away, then some guys will lose their load quick. For everyone concerned - and surely especially the gal - a nice long session of being eaten out will prime her for what's to come, loosen her up a bit and most of all lube her up a lot and all of this acts to make the guy's entry a bit less tight. And that's just one thing, of course.

In certain situations, depending on who you are, it might be worthwhile if the girl is almost exhausted from foreplay from every angle before he puts his dick in. That way, if he does blow quick - she's at least got something more to remember than 5 quick thrusts, a low grunt and a sticky stomach.
 
OP, don't sweat it. For most guys, it's just a race to the finish. Sometimes you just wear yourself out along the way and it's not going to happen.

I get off easier in the morning than at night. Some people just have quirks. As plenty have already mentioned, it's as much mental as anything.

Next time it's taking a while, change it up and do something different. Enjoy the ride and don't worry about whether he finishes. Most guys are pretty well practiced at finishing themselves. Just ask him if you can help give him a handy.
 
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