psychosugar
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2005
- Messages
- 8
'Noob' means rookie for all you who've been so dedicated to the decadence of high-dom that you missed the whole internet thing.
The White Princess is that cheap-ass, short lived mother of all our dreams and visions, co-canya.
1) Keep your eye on the gas tank.
Seems simple enough; you do it every week right? Well in the cluster-fuck, agile arms of the princess here, menial tasks often get overlooked. And that's ok if its the 'light-a-cigarette-while-one-is-already-burning' kind of thing. But when your vehicle (which, let's face it, already makes you look like you've served some hard time) runs out of gas in front of a well-lit police station at 4 in the morning without a fuel stop in sight, with your nose bleeding and a trunk full of enough stash for the Feds to send you to Egypt for some 'off-the-record' phonebook therapy, you may be facing some anxiety, and you wouldn't want to kill your buzz now would ya?
2) Don't use double sided razor blades.
Ahhhh, there is nothing like the first time that one sees the crimson snow at christmas! The mood is right; there's a heavy downfall onto the back of the CD case and you're chop, chop, chopping away until you're suddenly startled to see that the Princess herself has performed a midnight miracle! There in the mix, you see that shimmering of ruby-red puffs!
But then again something doesn't seem quite right, because, sure, roses are red but well-cut coke is supposed to bling like diamonds. Suddenly, with some remorse, you realize that all eight of your non-thumb fingers are bleeding profusely. Or worse, one of them is missing completely. Next time upgrade to a safeway card so you can afford the one-sided ones.
Appendix to No. 2
This is especially a good idea when there is company. That dame you're trying to move to third base doesn't want to have the 'I don't have AIDS' talk just yet, but it's gonna happen now that you just tossed the amphetamine salad with your own hameoglobin. Oh and btw, she paid for the ball - ouch.
3: The White Princess likes to keep it raw; so blow dryers and her don't mix.
Don't worry brother, I know it's not yours. That ex who offered ya all them percocets on the first night, then dumped your ass for bein a drug addict left it there when she joined the marines.
Anyway the white princess aint got no fancy do, so if you get some crazy idea like, say, umm: my conservative neighbors won't hear my continual, and excessive snorting through these paper thin walls if I run this old hair dryer at the same time, just make sure you don't leave the two of them alone to talk. Cause you ain't pickin up no well-cut coke from the rug with fukkin tweezers. You'll end up snorting carpet mites and fkkin hairballs for an hour tryin to milk that thick-shag for all its worth.
4: So you've been pulled over. Rejoice!
See those nice, flashy lights sparkling through your rearview? Praise Jesus! You've got a lot to be thankful for. Why? Because you're not red-eye stoned or can't-walk-the-plank toasted. Those fkkers'a got nothin on you, baby! You're supreme; you're agile, you're the fukkin Six-Million-Dollar man. You've got the wit of Sherlock Holmes (cokie, remember?) and the charm of Frank Sinatra. Play with it. Tell him you're a New Zealander and still on down under time, that's why you're driving in your boxers at 4am through a shady project with the windows down, the heat up and Neil Diamond blastin.
Just don't drop your insurance card on the seat near your stash cause them bastards love to shine their flashlight all through your rollin crib. And wear gloves whenever face-time with a cop is a potential happening; it'll hide the seizures in your fingers.
All of these things have actually happened to one person on their first binge. (Well the guy didn't lose his finger but it was fukkin close.)
Feel free to add.
psych
The White Princess is that cheap-ass, short lived mother of all our dreams and visions, co-canya.
1) Keep your eye on the gas tank.
Seems simple enough; you do it every week right? Well in the cluster-fuck, agile arms of the princess here, menial tasks often get overlooked. And that's ok if its the 'light-a-cigarette-while-one-is-already-burning' kind of thing. But when your vehicle (which, let's face it, already makes you look like you've served some hard time) runs out of gas in front of a well-lit police station at 4 in the morning without a fuel stop in sight, with your nose bleeding and a trunk full of enough stash for the Feds to send you to Egypt for some 'off-the-record' phonebook therapy, you may be facing some anxiety, and you wouldn't want to kill your buzz now would ya?
2) Don't use double sided razor blades.
Ahhhh, there is nothing like the first time that one sees the crimson snow at christmas! The mood is right; there's a heavy downfall onto the back of the CD case and you're chop, chop, chopping away until you're suddenly startled to see that the Princess herself has performed a midnight miracle! There in the mix, you see that shimmering of ruby-red puffs!
But then again something doesn't seem quite right, because, sure, roses are red but well-cut coke is supposed to bling like diamonds. Suddenly, with some remorse, you realize that all eight of your non-thumb fingers are bleeding profusely. Or worse, one of them is missing completely. Next time upgrade to a safeway card so you can afford the one-sided ones.
Appendix to No. 2
This is especially a good idea when there is company. That dame you're trying to move to third base doesn't want to have the 'I don't have AIDS' talk just yet, but it's gonna happen now that you just tossed the amphetamine salad with your own hameoglobin. Oh and btw, she paid for the ball - ouch.
3: The White Princess likes to keep it raw; so blow dryers and her don't mix.
Don't worry brother, I know it's not yours. That ex who offered ya all them percocets on the first night, then dumped your ass for bein a drug addict left it there when she joined the marines.
Anyway the white princess aint got no fancy do, so if you get some crazy idea like, say, umm: my conservative neighbors won't hear my continual, and excessive snorting through these paper thin walls if I run this old hair dryer at the same time, just make sure you don't leave the two of them alone to talk. Cause you ain't pickin up no well-cut coke from the rug with fukkin tweezers. You'll end up snorting carpet mites and fkkin hairballs for an hour tryin to milk that thick-shag for all its worth.
4: So you've been pulled over. Rejoice!
See those nice, flashy lights sparkling through your rearview? Praise Jesus! You've got a lot to be thankful for. Why? Because you're not red-eye stoned or can't-walk-the-plank toasted. Those fkkers'a got nothin on you, baby! You're supreme; you're agile, you're the fukkin Six-Million-Dollar man. You've got the wit of Sherlock Holmes (cokie, remember?) and the charm of Frank Sinatra. Play with it. Tell him you're a New Zealander and still on down under time, that's why you're driving in your boxers at 4am through a shady project with the windows down, the heat up and Neil Diamond blastin.
Just don't drop your insurance card on the seat near your stash cause them bastards love to shine their flashlight all through your rollin crib. And wear gloves whenever face-time with a cop is a potential happening; it'll hide the seizures in your fingers.
All of these things have actually happened to one person on their first binge. (Well the guy didn't lose his finger but it was fukkin close.)
Feel free to add.
psych
