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Non-Negotiables: What are yours?

respiration.
circulation.
thermo-regulation.
isovolemia.
acid/base homeostasis self-contained.
etc.
...I'm really not flexible on the whole being alive or not being alive thing.
 
Funny that, we have an unwritten pact that should one of us die in our sleep the other one gets to have "one for the road" before calling an ambulance ;)
 
1. Spiritual but non-denominational.
2. Must be able to make out standing up without me breaking my neck (I'm tall).
3. They must know how to kiss. Bad kissers, and especially irredeemable bad kissers who can never learn, are such a turn off.
4. Open to mind-altering but without addictive potential. And just open minded in general.
5. Philosophically, socially, and politically aware.
6. Loyal, compassionate, open to commitment, and doesn't have the attention span of a gnat.
7. Somewhat anti-establishment, or at least a critical thinker.

The physical attraction goes without saying -- so I'm saying it.
 
Busty St Clare said:
Funny that, we have an unwritten pact that should one of us die in our sleep the other one gets to have "one for the road" before calling an ambulance ;)
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I have no problem with sampling some cool still waters, if you know what I mean, as a fling. But I don't think it'd be good for a LTR cause I bet things would get gooey and malodorous relativity quick.
 
I like your list Busty, I'm going to steal some of your non-negotiables and add them to mine.
tricomb said:
^I agree, to an extent.


*Intelligent, deep.
*Attractive and sexually compatible.
*Health conscious (diet, exercise, no alcohol or cancersticks, no serious drug problems)
*Loves or at least appreciates cars
*On birthcontrol and clean: unprotected sex
*Ride or Die Bitch
*Respect & Be Respected.
*Confident (extra points if intimidatingly so)
*MUST ROLL BLUNT:
blunts.gif
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Busty St Clare said:
Driven and confident- I don't necessarily need for them to be a high powered Wall St elite, but someone who takes pride in their work and has a good work ethic is preferred over a slacker or moocher.

Zest for life and a sense of adventure- they need to be willing to trust me, hold my hand and come for a ride. Sometimes the best things in life are unexpected and unplanned.

Optimists not pessimists- I prefer a half full kind of girl. Debbie downers with a chip on their shoulder and no spark for life will probably either slow me down or get left behind.

Social chameleons- I need someone who is comfortable and confident enough to walk into any room and entertain themselves. I need someone who is equally comfortable dressed in a formal frock talking politics with a bunch of suits as they are sitting around a campfire discussing karma with a bunch of dreads.

Non smoker

Social drinkers and just a drug dabbler- I like to get loose but prefer to be controlled. I don't mind if they are sober but they have to accept I am not straight as a pin. By the same token though I don't need or want a trash bag or any girl who blames her actions on being drunk.
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- confidence
- open minded
- non judgmental
- attractive in my eyes
- loyal
- honest
- NICE (to people, animals, etc.)
 
I made a list a while ago in my head of what I'm looking for. It might have changed slightly, but hey, I'll give it another try:

1. Must be independent and be able to take care of him/herself financially, mentally and physically
2. Must have a higher belief for the good of mankind and philosophical thoughts often. This can be a semi-strong religious belief, spirituality or trust in a Global nature.
3. No makeup or very minimal makeup. Basically, I'm asking for low maintenance for the following reason:
4. Able to accept and grow into changes very quickly. Enjoys the outdoors and like to take challenges. <--- this "non-negotiable" might just be the hardest thing for me to find in someone else; I haven't found it yet
5. Needs to be approved by mom or grandma or, if not possible, approved by my step-mom, dad, my youngest brother and step-dad.
 
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must be drug-free
must not have bad breath
must be white
must be feminine
must be attractive
must be honest
must have a good family
must be loyal

i dont care about religion so thats not an issue'
 
*samsonite* said:
IMo opinion this is just silly. Sorry, but IME when you meet somone that gets you and sparks fly, those deal breakers go out the window. You can meet someone that you really click with, and are incredibly compatible with in other areas, and those rules melt away. Some things that you found to be "no-nos" may become intriguing and a growing experience between you and someone you click with.

Not to mention, you can't find someone off your little checklist and expect it to last, bc as people grow and change they may become more like your no-no list. You can't find love off a spread sheet describing your perfect match. It doesn't work that way. People grow and change. You ultimately have to find someone who is moral and loyal with great comunication skills. Who is also compatible in bed of course ;) and while you twist and bend together thru life, make sure your SO feels loved and you remain secure and comfortable with who you are and in your relationship.
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I agree with this a lot. Checklists get ridiculous as fuck with lots of people. As long as someone does the basic essentials you are being an asswipe for writing them off so quick.

It just doesn't make sense to pre-select the person you want to meet.
 
1. Must love me as much as I love them.
2. Must feel like they need me.
3. Must act as an equal in domestic issues/responsibilities
4. Must love to cuddle
5. Must be positive in nature
6. Loyalty
7. Have a good sex drive
 
tricomb said:
Nah, she has to have skill rolling, not someone with basic blunt rolling skills.

My current SO rolls amazing pearled blunts. ;)
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I <3 this... I got mad skills in blunt rolling.. Nice!

My only non negotiable is children~ I don't want them.. Mayb adopt when I'm old, but I will NEVER birth a child. so if my SO wants 1,out he goes..
 
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^I can't roll one worth a damn :( I can sure hang and enjoy one, though!

My list is pretty simple. The future Mr. can expect all of this from me - and some of it I have had to work very hard on.

-Educated, employed or both
-Able to get along with my family and friends
-Independent, financially and emotionally
-Not prone to extremes in behavior, this includes drugs/alcohol
-Willing to approach conflict like an adult
-Can be of any dietary or religious persuasion as long as neither is pushed on me, likewise with politics
-Enjoys travel and seeing/doing new things together
-Must love dogs and cats
-Picks up after himself and doesn't need to be asked for basic tidiness
-Similar ambitions and goals in life; willingness to take on tough issues because they will be coming home with me
-Did I mention financially independent?
-Honest and loyal
-Openness to eventual marriage and family even if non-traditional
-Able to stand by me, alongside me, and up for me
-Respectful of himself and others in general
-Savvy with spelling and grammar
 
^ :) I think they're realistic. My therapist actually urged me to write a list focusing on my standards for a partner, and that is almost verbatim what I discussed with her. Declaring my intentions is the first step for me to meet the right guy for me. I'm tired of weeding out idiots and as much as I dislike absolutes when it comes to relationships, I'm glad to be able to have a firmer grip on my standards.
 
the best lists are posted by singles

and still waiting

for the fantasy to become real

<3
 
Mariposa said:
^ :) I think they're realistic. My therapist actually urged me to write a list focusing on my standards for a partner, and that is almost verbatim what I discussed with her. Declaring my intentions is the first step for me to meet the right guy for me. I'm tired of weeding out idiots and as much as I dislike absolutes when it comes to relationships, I'm glad to be able to have a firmer grip on my standards.
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Curious to know what you consider "educated" though. Do you mean you would turn somebody down unless they attained all A's in their studied subject, or just that they're knowledgeable and can carry on an intellectual conversation despite having only graduated high school with B's?
 
^ "educated" to me (and I think this is what she is getting at) is someone with higher than a high school diploma or has the life experience to talk about something as an expert. Someone who graduates college usually has some kind of motivation to do something with himself/herself even if it isn't in their area of study. Of course, I have a roommate sitting at my house who passed the bar and has decided to do nothing with himself, but I'm pretty sure he's an exception to the rule. lol

There is definitely a huge difference in mannerisms, vocabulary and overall demeanor between someone who has spent years in school (grad students...real university mind you..not devry) and someone who just kinda skates through life with whatever low-end job he can find. Even my bum roommate can have an educated conversation, and he has very conservative mannerisms.

If she's saying what I think she's saying, I know what she's talking about. College kids can be kids in their 20s, but when they hit 30s, you can see a difference between an educated person and the guy who just does whatever to skate by. It doesn't really have much to do with grades. Everything is relative with grades. You can get straight A's in some schools, but do those same classes at Princeton and it's another story.
 
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