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NO-vember '14 -- SL Gettin & Stayin Sober Thread

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6 months and 11 days for me today. Things are going really good for me today! I have also met someone and things are going great on that front. I haven't been in love in a very long time (possibly ever) so this is both new and exciting and a bit scary as well. It is just comforting to have someone to sit and hold and relax with. So much better then using.

School, Internship and work are going good. Things are much better with my family. I have grown quite a lot in the past 6 months, more then I have in years.
 
Ahh that's great for you, good that things are falling into place! 6 months is a real step, you should be proud that. I hope for you its a nice lady/lad, its true knowing you don't carry everything alone is a comfort :)

As depressed as i was last week, things are much much better now.
Today i went for my first day as a volunteer at an animal shelter, and its bullseye. All these animals made me feel so good, ive never before cleaned up shit with a smile on my face, if you what i mean xd

Walked several dogs, some who are really big and mean looking, but the joy i got out of them being out of the cage, the mutural respect without having to speak, its straight chemistry.
Some are abanded because they got mistreated or abused and were therefore dumped as a punishment for something they weren't responsible for, jumping on to me, enthousiastic, i just love it.
Walking these big, strong dogs, really beautiful but just misunderstood, gave me such a great feeling of pride and relaxation, its such a wonderful feeling to give them a little freedom again.
Great people there too, lots of psychiatric and addiction problems, so no stigma or prejudgements, really cool.
I can go there every day if i want and take one or two dogs to go to the forest and just enjoy eachothers company and being out in nature.
Im so exited about this, its really me.

And all these little, scared kittens, that after a couple of minutes of being scared and shy, crawling unto your lap and fall asleep right there..its amazing how good that feels...^^

96 days clean and sober now, really looking forward to tomorrow i cant wait to see the cats and dogs again :D! I guess im starting to love life again, slow but steady, ups and downs, smiles and cries...patience and faith, without it you're nowhere!
 
I have 23 days off suboxone

I still wake up feeling like shit (panicking for no reason)

I still have suicidal thoughts

There are less withdrawal symptoms throughout the day, but I can barely keep it together mentally

I try not to break down and cry a lot, but pretending to be happy isn't helping too much.

I hope everyone else is doing well
 
BlueSaffron said:
CH, can I ask how long you were on suboxone?
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Ok so earlier this year/last December I went off suboxone

I had been using it for 6 years

Then I had 7 months off it

This summer I got suboxone again and was on it for a few moths

About 3 months

Now I have 23 days

Thank you for being such a caring soul Blue <3

Left symptoms

Suicidal thoughts
Panic/anxiety
Involuntary twitching
Depression
Akathisia
Insomnia
 
100 days for me, and yesterday was the first day my brain felt "normal." I could think clearly, and none of the itchy I-need-something feeling that has been driving me crazy since I quit the pills. Hang in there, CH--I didn't begin to feel things change for the better until day 33, and I wasn't significantly better until 60 days.
 
Just hang in there CH. Try to distract yourself - watch good old movies, especially funny ones. I've read that watching movies you loved as a kid - like actual kid movies - helps too. Even if you SO don't feel like watching some stupid fucking movie, sit your butt down and watch it anyway. It helps. I had suicidal thoughts when I was detoxing methadone this past summer... I really do understand what its like. And at the time it's hard to see around it. It didn't help that I was going through something at the same time, it was just a maelstrom of suck... but I wish I'd stuck it out. You're already off, you have some clean time, you're making progress even though it might not feel like it day to day. Lots of people here care about you and are pulling for you. Don't buy into that bullshit little voice in your head that says you have nothing - it lies.

Getting my subs today. Got well this am so I'll probably take my 1st one friday night. Ugh, I hate the waiting, but I want to give this a shot. I'm getting 7 8mg pills, from what everyone is telling me that should be plenty.

Around this time last year I was relapsing for the first time after being on methadone and clean for more than a year off heroin. Now here I am paddling the same stupid fucking boat. Might be time to change ships... hopefully the S.S. Suboxone will sail me into some better waters.
 
wanting said:
100 days for me, and yesterday was the first day my brain felt "normal." I could think clearly, and none of the itchy I-need-something feeling that has been driving me crazy since I quit the pills. Hang in there, CH--I didn't begin to feel things change for the better until day 33, and I wasn't significantly better until 60 days.
Click to expand...

This makes me want to cry but it sounds right

I have 24 days off suboxone

I still wake up early morning feeling like shit

The intrusive thoughts are getting really bad, even though the other symptoms aren't as bad

BlueSaffron said:
Just hang in there CH. Try to distract yourself - watch good old movies, especially funny ones. I've read that watching movies you loved as a kid - like actual kid movies - helps too. Even if you SO don't feel like watching some stupid fucking movie, sit your butt down and watch it anyway. It helps. I had suicidal thoughts when I was detoxing methadone this past summer... I really do understand what its like. And at the time it's hard to see around it. It didn't help that I was going through something at the same time, it was just a maelstrom of suck... but I wish I'd stuck it out. You're already off, you have some clean time, you're making progress even though it might not feel like it day to day. Lots of people here care about you and are pulling for you. Don't buy into that bullshit little voice in your head that says you have nothing - it lies.

Getting my subs today. Got well this am so I'll probably take my 1st one friday night. Ugh, I hate the waiting, but I want to give this a shot. I'm getting 7 8mg pills, from what everyone is telling me that should be plenty.

Around this time last year I was relapsing for the first time after being on methadone and clean for more than a year off heroin. Now here I am paddling the same stupid fucking boat. Might be time to change ships... hopefully the S.S. Suboxone will sail me into some better waters.
Click to expand...

Thank you Blue <3

I am really rooting for you too, and I have faith you'll make it

Just don't make my mistake and stay on suboxone for years
 
Good to see people actually pushing through and reaching months or even years of sobriety, great job everyone.

I took a lovely terriër (named Tank ^^) along with me from the animal shelter i now work at and went for a long walk, i spent hours with him outside. It is just perfect for the both of us, i am on the move, outdoors, not thinking about anything, just the road ahead and all the time in the world.
Walking for such a long time in the fresh air is a great natural antidepressant, making the much needed endorphines available to feel better.

Also knowing im making this dogs day so much better, instead being in a cage he is outside where he belongs, on the move and enjoying just as much as i do.

This all has kind of a mystic vibe of being in touch with nature, with my innercore as a human being, instincts and natural needs. No society bullshit, no worries about rent or money, facebook and those kind of crappy plastic ignorant websites.

I would really recommend this to any recovering addict, go to your local animal shelter and offer help (they'll need it), you'll get your excersise and contacts, freedom in your head. It makes it all so much easier. AND you're doping a really good thing for these poor cats and dogs!

<3


this is Tank

rnMzF.png
 
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I must confess that after hearing about Captain willpower over quitting subs, I feel quite bad that I quit doing drugs, but still use methadone.
So my hat´s off to you as usually say!
It should feel like a real victory! Not half, or part of it.
You´ve done it.
 
Dont talk yourself down, the methadone is temporary and you ARE doing it nomather how you look at it. My hats of to you as well!
 
Erikmen said:
I must confess that after hearing about Captain willpower over quitting subs, I feel quite bad that I quit doing drugs, but still use methadone.
So my hat´s off to you as usually say!
It should feel like a real victory! Not half, or part of it.
You´ve done it.
Click to expand...

Thanks man

But as long as you're stable on a dose of methadone - that's still amazing progress

You can taper off it if/when you're ready

I really appreciate the kind words - and yes it feels like a victory, though I also feel a bit battle worn.
 
You guys are all doing so great! Such an inspiration. You all help keep me clean because I sure as hell cannot do it alone. Thank you so much.
 
njirem said:
Dont talk yourself down, the methadone is temporary and you ARE doing it nomather how you look at it. My hats of to you as well!
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Yes, Erik - njirem has a point… Look at where you are now compared to where you were… Hats off to you and everyone on this thread indeed… most folks don't make it. We are here … and on the other side of active seeking drug use, or moving towards it and a better life.
It was life or death for me first time, and came close again… but not as ugly
I'm grateful to have a roof over my head … still have my cat unlike last time, and have not sold everything including my soul for drugs. Came close -- but just couldn't go through so much suffering again. I don't have it in me anymore. Glad to be here, alive. Sometimes I do still wonder though.. seems like a dream at times <3 :)
 
Well everybody,

I am down to 4mg sub dose a day from 8mg a day for five months.

The only weird thing is that when I first switched to 4mg from 6mg, I was a little tired, I could sleep all day. Now when I take my dose, it gives me a boost and I almost get a slight opiate high. Does anybody know why this might be?

Hopefully this means dropping my dose again will be easy.

So glad to be getting off suboxone! And earlier than I thought. I was stuck in an illusion that I'd have to take it forever. NOT TRUE. I hate how doctors make it seem like a lifelong commitment when it doesn't need to be...
 
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