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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

No more tappering, cold turkey hopefully for the last time

morpheuspapaverus said:
I am a little stressed out, I have missed the whole semester of college ( again, as I did the past 2 years) but now I really want to do it, I just don't know how to handle the situation, my exams are in 2 weeks, not a big problem if I would have the courses but I do not, and I do not know any of my coleagues or proffesors. I was thinking of saying that I was in recovery ( not from addiction, I don't want to involve that part of me in this ) of a disease and now I am ready to try to take these exams and if I fail I will get them next semester along with the ones coming then.

Does this sound okay? or I am overreacting? the panick comes from the fact that if I fuck this up then I will have to go back to my home town and get a shitty job because I won't receive anymore founding to "start a new life" as a I started so many new lives that a cat is crap compared to me. This university shit is driving me crazy along with the cravings, I just want to smoke and forget now that I put a barrier on everything else but luckily I still stay sober because weed will just amplify the panic
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Yeah that sounds fine M.P.
You don't have to say too much. This is your private business.
Just say you had a personal family problem/illness that forced you to take some time out but you are back and would like to try taking the exams.
No one will say anything to you about it. We all have problems in life. Some require some time off.
Others understand. Don't get all anxious over it. No big deal.

You are doing really good. I'm so proud of you!
Getting back into your music and writing is wonderful.

You get out there and enjoy your young new life!

Lol! I know what you mean about a cat having nothing on me! Haha!
We always land on our feet. Just keep on going.

Lots of love to you sweetheart!
 
thanks a lot PO, I'm still sober. had some weed now and then in the whole period like max 5 times and drank some rum but I am finally all over the psychical w/d.

how is your taper going btw? If I remember right from the social thread you were tapering of some benzo like shroomy.
 
morpheuspapaverus said:
thanks a lot PO, I'm still sober. had some weed now and then in the whole period like max 5 times and drank some rum but I am finally all over the psychical w/d.

how is your taper going btw? If I remember right from the social thread you were tapering of some benzo like shroomy.
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You are welcome sweetie. No problem.
I'm so glad you are off the opiates and through the worst of the withdrawal.
Just keep on going and little by little your life will turn around and be rebuilt.
You are doing just great!

Thanks for asking about me. I'm not actually tapering off any of my medications. I am just trying to hold stable.
I just found that thread great for support and there are others there with chronic pain so we kind of support one another there and help each other when we over do it on our medications and then need to taper back down.

I'm back to my prescribed dosages of my medications. That is the good news.
I wish I could do without them but I'm injured and just trying to learn how to manage life with chronic pain.

Trying to keep a good attitude and remain humorous about things. I find laughter is the best medicine and I have to keep things light. I have been through a lot of trauma and just can't take pressure or uptight environments of any kind.
 
weed helped me a lot through this 4 weeks. I'm having a mini relapse, took some codeine yesterday and today some tramadol but not gonna continue it. after 4 weeks with just weed it sucks to know that I fucked up, but two days is not that bad if I manage to not continue.


all this cause I helped out an old friend, I did help about 2 weeks ago too (when his doc is not available to prescribe him I tend to help him out with benzos for his anxiety condition and opioids for his knee pain ) but today the weather is so nice and I was able to finally distinguish smells (very difficult to do after prolonged tramadol use) and long story short the environment fooled my mind to relapse.
 
now I am again on tramadol,codeine,oxycodone and clonazepam all combined, with some alprazolam sometimes but mainly just the other four. and I already feel depressed again.
 
That's a pretty heavy mix.. it's kind of not all that surprising you feel depressed on that combo. Especially knowing you can make it sober.

So what's your plan now? Going to start a taper or you just going to keep on going? Or cold turkey?
 
keep on going, but trying to reduce it all to the tramadol again. I will take it until I feel that I can do the step again, though I was thinking of remaining on it for my whole life. what damage could it do in longterm? since this february I have 7 years of tramadol, pretty much daily with infrequent small pauses when I thought I could quit, but those were like 1 per year. I really don't feel right without them at all, even after the physical w/d is gone.
 
I'm not really sure of all the risks of long term use beyond never making it past the struggle of addiction. I'm sure there are physical risks like liver and digestive problems, as well as cognitive and psychological problems that could potentially result as well, but I think the biggest risk is never living up to your own full potential. If you've been using for 7 years, it will take quite a bit of time and work before you start to feel "normal" again without them.

It's strange to me how much perspective changes. Surely there was a time before you thought you'd need them for the rest of your life. What changed between 7 years ago, when you started taking them daily? It's hard to imagine at the moment, but it is possible that your perspective changes again and you no longer constantly feel like you need them. When you start to conquer tasks you thought that you needed a pill to do, you realize that you've been using crutches when you've been able to walk. Walking will be difficult at first because the muscle atrophies, but you can rebuild your strength.
 
well the trio I'm on right now would feel uncofomfortable to CT, oxy + tramadol + clonazepam (everyday again, just now all the three at the same time too )
 
Hey man Im a long time lurker of this site. I made this account just to let you know that you can do this. I see a lot of similarities between your struggle and my own battles with depression and suiciadality. I would always make plans to help myself, built around significant moments (like 7years of trams) and they would always fail because it wasnt for the right reason. You can do this, and help exists. I know you said youve been in rehab before, but if one type of help doesnt work, try a different angle. I went through so many doctors, psychotherapists, psychiatrists etc and the one who really got through and helped me was a free volunteer women who had a heart of gold. The help is out there. You can do this bro.
 
hello and welcome to bluelight, yeah I am gonna try it again in the summer, I just hope I am not gonna be already addicted to the clonazepam too, as right now my daily dosage is about 320mg oxy,1000mg trams and 4 mg clonazepam . they pretty much started to make me depressed again, I talked it out with my mom she is very supportive as long as I don't dabble with the likes of fentanyl anymore, I will cut the oxy out and tapper down the trams again, I can go without the oxy, but as the tram gives me no euphoria anymore just the snri effect I usually add it for the "flavour"
 
Is it necessary to take the clonazepam? Because 4mg is a big dose, you will certainly develop physical dependence on that if you have not already. How long have you been taking it?
 
I know all too well brother.

If I may say, if you don’t feel loved by anyone, know my Higherpower loves you more then you can imagine.

Forget what John Lennon said. Imagine freedom. And you know who that Man is!!
 
Dersch… while putting off quitting drugs might not be the most practical idea, it doesn't sound like you are in any place to judge being on clonazepam yourself. Doesn't seem very helpful.
 
well I got courses to attend and was thinking of getting a job again, I don't have the time now to just cold turkey you know, so that is why I was thinking about summer time? It is okay with the clonazepam I can drop it easily, never took them for more than 2 weeks, they are only to ensure that I do not have a seizure, I don't benefit from them from another point of view because anxiety/depression is already dealt with with the anti-depressive qualities of tramadol.

did not have to ban him really, I'm fine and I know how to filter out useful stuff so I was not going to start an argument over it anyway, plus it is my fault that I did not mention that I was waiting with the opiates not the benzo, I don't really think I will continue with the clonazepam.
 
He was banned for a string of offensive posts he made, some of which I had to delete. It's not his ideas, just the way he expressed them- it's only going to cause flame wars for obvious reasons.

I think it's worth considering whether tapering or going cold turkey will have less impact overall on your life. There are a lot of legitimate reasons to taper, especially benzos, and with mental health being one of them, it's not a bad idea to play it safe. Generally, I think if you can do cold turkey safely you should do it, but a lot of times that isn't possible with benzos or even alcohol. You just have to considered what is right for you, and your path to recovery if that is what you really want.
 
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