Those are all common elements of a severe depression. Primary treatment is psychotherapy. Medications are adjuncts and may or may not be helpful, and nearly always take a substantial amount of time to fine tune, and even then require you to do things you just said you can't do to maintain compliance. I am not saying go setup a therapy appointment and you will be all better, you will need patience, but you will start functioning better, and perceiving yourself and your world more correctly, quicker than you are likely to find a beneficial SSRI or perfect ketamine regimen. I am not saying those medications can't be helpful, or are not appropriate here, I am just saying if you are going to depend on anything, depend on therapy, don't shirk from it, keep your appointments, and be honest and careful in them.
You probably need a prolonged period of abstinence, probably from all drugs, as is commonly prescribed by 12 step programs like AA and NA, for this to go away long enough for your hypochondria to subside. I am not saying you have to forgo partying for the rest of your life, but I think in your case, seeing all intoxicants as only the disastrous shortcuts that got you here, for a sustained period of time (1-5 years, perhaps?) is going to be a crucial experience to go through, or if you can see it this way, a crucial experience to strive for.
Iboga? Probably not, and I hear people may be more likely to kill themselves after, though probably more correlated to being desperate enough to source ibogaine. not likely to happen coming from this sort of bottom
Haha. Go read Heinlein. Stay away from philosophy for the time being. Never open anything by L. Ron Hubbard for the rest of your days.Lol, I just want a drug that will cure my drug addiction
I would suck ibogas cock if it could do this for me.