Blurpinkle
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i have a lot to contribute
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Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth
(Nitrous Oxide) - Experienced - Life Changing Problems
- Thread starter TheMerryPrankster
- Start date
i have a lot to contribute
Marauder
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- Sep 6, 2010
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Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry for what you've been going through.
When I first got hold of nitrous, I had been taking it on and off for a few weeks. I only did maybe 3 canisters a dose and maybe dosed twice a week. I wanted to understand the drug's effects on my brain but I knew that depriving my body/brain of oxygen is obviously bad, and more importantly, it causes me a headache to keep redosing nitrous.
I had a drug experience that scared me. Now it's nowhere near as bad as yours but here's how it went down. Friends and I were smoking Cannabis and Salvia. A few hours later I took 4g of shrooms and was having a great trip. I like that cannabis "extends" your presence in the nitrous headspace, and I assumed tripping would let you hang around in there even longer. What better way to understand the drug?
I was peaking on shrooms and filled a large balloon with 3 canisters of nitrous. I huffed and puffed and I was fucking gone. I tried my hardest not to laugh, but to simply observe what is going on in my head and body. I found it terrifying to attempt remaining a normal mindset on nitrous. If I wasn't laughing, I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't make sense of anything. Things "looked" the same, I "knew" who people were, where I am, etc, but this was all so far away and completely disjointed in my mind. I'm used to nitrous lasting a few minutes but after maybe 5 minutes, I was still in this headspace. I was beginning to panic but I kept my cool and figured sleep would help.
I woke up the next day in severe pain. It felt like every single nerve ending in my body has been reset. Putting on a sweater felt like I was putting on a vest soaked in gasoline and burning away. I was unable to drive because I could not determine how much pressure I was putting on the gas pedal, and I couldn't find anything in my pocket. Everything felt foreign. Things were the same mentally, but physically I was in real discomfort. Pins and needles, etc.
My first thought was a B vitamin deficiency but I don't take nitrous much so that wasn't it (I did take a B complex supplement or two to see if that was the case.) The next day, the pain was still there but I felt closer to normal and felt very relieved. After waking up on the 3rd morning, it was nearly gone. Good right?
A few weeks later, I tried 1 nitrous canister and the pain came back full force. I couldn't tie my shoes, etc. I slept it off and registered to see a neuropathologist. She heard my case (nitrous + symptoms) and expressed almost no concern as to my condition. She said I was fine and that it was likely anxiety. I went to my GP and asked him, and he said to see a neuropathologist if the problem persists, but ended the convo with "are you an anxious person? do you think too much sometimes and feel overwhelmed?"
I'm a very anxious person, especially when I can't type on a keyboard, cloth myself effortlessly or even just sit down without having to slowly nudge onto a couch. It felt like my entire body was asleep rather than just when your foot or arm fall asleep.
Anyway, the pain subsided on its own. Months later, weed alone triggered it. Benzos helped a lot, so it staying sober for as long as possible just to get my body calibrated to baseline again.
Maybe off-topic but have you tried the other dissociatives? specifically ketamine, MXE or PCP? I'm just asking. There is a Vice interview with the chemist who designed Methoxetamine. He is missing a hand and said that PCP or a derivative of it helped him cure his phantom limb syndrome. He felt pain on the hand that was lost, and PCP helped him work through the issue psychologically (and maybe physically?) - Look into 3-MeO-PCP and perhaps the studies on Ketamine for long term pain treatment. The key to ending your pain lies somewhere in there. Have you seeked ketamine-for-pain help outside the US? The original study was done in Germany and featured in a dr.house episode. Canada might have some clinics, just check online in the US first.
Take it easy!
When I first got hold of nitrous, I had been taking it on and off for a few weeks. I only did maybe 3 canisters a dose and maybe dosed twice a week. I wanted to understand the drug's effects on my brain but I knew that depriving my body/brain of oxygen is obviously bad, and more importantly, it causes me a headache to keep redosing nitrous.
I had a drug experience that scared me. Now it's nowhere near as bad as yours but here's how it went down. Friends and I were smoking Cannabis and Salvia. A few hours later I took 4g of shrooms and was having a great trip. I like that cannabis "extends" your presence in the nitrous headspace, and I assumed tripping would let you hang around in there even longer. What better way to understand the drug?
I was peaking on shrooms and filled a large balloon with 3 canisters of nitrous. I huffed and puffed and I was fucking gone. I tried my hardest not to laugh, but to simply observe what is going on in my head and body. I found it terrifying to attempt remaining a normal mindset on nitrous. If I wasn't laughing, I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't make sense of anything. Things "looked" the same, I "knew" who people were, where I am, etc, but this was all so far away and completely disjointed in my mind. I'm used to nitrous lasting a few minutes but after maybe 5 minutes, I was still in this headspace. I was beginning to panic but I kept my cool and figured sleep would help.
I woke up the next day in severe pain. It felt like every single nerve ending in my body has been reset. Putting on a sweater felt like I was putting on a vest soaked in gasoline and burning away. I was unable to drive because I could not determine how much pressure I was putting on the gas pedal, and I couldn't find anything in my pocket. Everything felt foreign. Things were the same mentally, but physically I was in real discomfort. Pins and needles, etc.
My first thought was a B vitamin deficiency but I don't take nitrous much so that wasn't it (I did take a B complex supplement or two to see if that was the case.) The next day, the pain was still there but I felt closer to normal and felt very relieved. After waking up on the 3rd morning, it was nearly gone. Good right?
A few weeks later, I tried 1 nitrous canister and the pain came back full force. I couldn't tie my shoes, etc. I slept it off and registered to see a neuropathologist. She heard my case (nitrous + symptoms) and expressed almost no concern as to my condition. She said I was fine and that it was likely anxiety. I went to my GP and asked him, and he said to see a neuropathologist if the problem persists, but ended the convo with "are you an anxious person? do you think too much sometimes and feel overwhelmed?"
I'm a very anxious person, especially when I can't type on a keyboard, cloth myself effortlessly or even just sit down without having to slowly nudge onto a couch. It felt like my entire body was asleep rather than just when your foot or arm fall asleep.
Anyway, the pain subsided on its own. Months later, weed alone triggered it. Benzos helped a lot, so it staying sober for as long as possible just to get my body calibrated to baseline again.
Maybe off-topic but have you tried the other dissociatives? specifically ketamine, MXE or PCP? I'm just asking. There is a Vice interview with the chemist who designed Methoxetamine. He is missing a hand and said that PCP or a derivative of it helped him cure his phantom limb syndrome. He felt pain on the hand that was lost, and PCP helped him work through the issue psychologically (and maybe physically?) - Look into 3-MeO-PCP and perhaps the studies on Ketamine for long term pain treatment. The key to ending your pain lies somewhere in there. Have you seeked ketamine-for-pain help outside the US? The original study was done in Germany and featured in a dr.house episode. Canada might have some clinics, just check online in the US first.
Take it easy!
TheMerryPrankster
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- Dec 9, 2007
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Hi.I'm sorry to hear of your problems as well, although wow your symptoms sound very similar to my own, the amount of nitrous. you used seems not enough to have caused any kind of serious neurological damage, however, the combination of nitrous oxide with psilocybin is something that I am less familiar with than gascid,, especially in the area of neuro toxicity. I have done "gasrooms", On any few occasions, but it has never had the same appeal and clarity as LSD. In fact, now I recall the last time that I did nitrous oxide in combination with psilocybin it was an extremely negative experience as well, and I had a huge panic attack in the middle of the experience where I felt that it was physically overwhelmingly too strong. I actually became too afraid to repeat the experience, so I think that I can relate to what happened in the moment anyway. When I finally mentioned to a doctor that I have taken nitrous oxide when the symptoms first appeared, she too dismissed the information saying that there was no evidence that nitrous oxide was in anyway dangerous. At that point there was still no Internet and little was known about the long term cumulative effects of nitrous in the blood.
we should never estimate the power thhaveat the mind can help over the body. I know LSD to be physically harmless even in large amounts and over protracted periods of time, yet I also in the early days had a bad experience-as you probably read-from which it took a year to fully recover and during which I had horrific flashbacks that felt extremely real at the time. unfortunately, my medical knowledge is somewhat limited in this field. However, I do not think that it is likely that what you experienced was actually caused by the chemical combination, but was perhaps something that pre-existed and it was triggered or exacerbated by the experience.
I have had considerable experience with some others dissociatives, specifically ketamine over the last couple of years, something which I would like to write more about and see if there are others who have shared similar experiences. I have also experimented fairly extensively with combinations of ketamine. and other psychedelics, especially DMT and LSD, both of which I find to be a great combination. I will add more to this comment when I am back on the computer and not on my handheld device. Thanks for sharing your experience, I hope you're feeling better, and sorry I cannot be of more help, but I do imagine the possibility exists that some of this anyway is psychosomatic. Perhaps when you feel the onset of this kind of experience some meditation and yoga might help to decrease the intensity of the symptoms. I know that the yoga helped me tremendously during my convalescence
Peace
TMP
we should never estimate the power thhaveat the mind can help over the body. I know LSD to be physically harmless even in large amounts and over protracted periods of time, yet I also in the early days had a bad experience-as you probably read-from which it took a year to fully recover and during which I had horrific flashbacks that felt extremely real at the time. unfortunately, my medical knowledge is somewhat limited in this field. However, I do not think that it is likely that what you experienced was actually caused by the chemical combination, but was perhaps something that pre-existed and it was triggered or exacerbated by the experience.
I have had considerable experience with some others dissociatives, specifically ketamine over the last couple of years, something which I would like to write more about and see if there are others who have shared similar experiences. I have also experimented fairly extensively with combinations of ketamine. and other psychedelics, especially DMT and LSD, both of which I find to be a great combination. I will add more to this comment when I am back on the computer and not on my handheld device. Thanks for sharing your experience, I hope you're feeling better, and sorry I cannot be of more help, but I do imagine the possibility exists that some of this anyway is psychosomatic. Perhaps when you feel the onset of this kind of experience some meditation and yoga might help to decrease the intensity of the symptoms. I know that the yoga helped me tremendously during my convalescence
Peace
TMP
TheMerryPrankster
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Wow, that was the best trip report I have read. You are a very talented writer TheMerryPrankster.
Sorry to hear about your medical conditions. I can relate a little bit, I abused 5-meo-dmt in a similar way until it had seriously damaged me, I made a full recovery. But went through sorrow and the whole life altering turmoil you get from going too far and messing yourself up on a substance.
I found how you made the set up to alter your trips interesting. LSD with Nitrous have always been very controlled by outside visual elements for me, so it makes sense that a person could gain some control over the experience with control over the setting.
Also Nitrous usually has the same underlying rhythm for me whaa-whaa-whaa, I bet you could really set some strobe lights up to match it-and hit another layer...
Must be wild..
You are a true psychonaut TMP, thanks for the good read. and thanks for putting the info out for the community..
Sorry to hear about your medical conditions. I can relate a little bit, I abused 5-meo-dmt in a similar way until it had seriously damaged me, I made a full recovery. But went through sorrow and the whole life altering turmoil you get from going too far and messing yourself up on a substance.
I found how you made the set up to alter your trips interesting. LSD with Nitrous have always been very controlled by outside visual elements for me, so it makes sense that a person could gain some control over the experience with control over the setting.
Also Nitrous usually has the same underlying rhythm for me whaa-whaa-whaa, I bet you could really set some strobe lights up to match it-and hit another layer...
Must be wild..You are a true psychonaut TMP, thanks for the good read. and thanks for putting the info out for the community..
TMP! Just read the initial post...turns out I read this a few years back in my exploration for NOS tales and adventures. no joke about 3 years ago.... I realised I had read before about 2 paragraphs in but couldnt stop reading! it was just as entertaining as the 1st time. oddly enough it was only last week i was telling my friend about how i had read ur story before, my recollection was vague at that but it had been some time. Now i find myself here actually writing a message to you! (I have read bluelight randomly be it through google or wteva for years but only signed up around 2 weeks ago...oh how the universe works in mysterious ways!
Funny, I bought a van a couple of weeks back, lost a pound in it yesterday...was looking for the pound... couldnt find it but then to my surprise found another pound which must of been there for quite a while. I am forever saying the universe is one big equilibrium, forever balancing in some way or another. I think by you posting this is in a way a positive to your negative of addiction and greed towards the nos. I got into it a fair bit, maybe not the same strength as the stuff u were doing tho.. I had some odd trip, think it was around 4 whippets in a row sitting in the exact same place i am sitting now, just remember this really overwhelming sense of detachment! that was partly why i went on the search for stories. since then I dont get it myself as i know i'll just abuse the stuff! but just stick to doing it with mates, even still I cant do a lot, makes my throat real bad! i cant understand how u managed to do so much with a good throat!? also just leaves me feeling really melted...
had a wicked trip the other day whilst on some mdma n smoking weed, nothing 'ive found the the answer to life' although i have had them before and attempted to write stuff down...came back down to earth and the pad was just squiggles!! so fustrated! lol. but yeah wicked trip the other day where i was just so invovled with the music playing, like when i realised it was music i was so shocked! crazy!
anyway ive babbled on but just wanted to say hi! and hope u r doing somewhat better these days! and that ur story has made me laugh, consider the dangers a lot more and generally be entertained. thanks for sharing.
much love from the UK!
TheMerryPrankster
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High! 
thanks for sharing. It's nice to know that this thread is still alive. Thanks for the well-wishes. I'm doing pretty well physically the last years- lots of yoga and healthier living.
Of course I could relate to your stories.writing stuff down was my first route i took trying record my thoughts and I remember well the feeling starting to write a phrase and then seeming to be looking over my shoulder at me writing, and then the writing slanting off into somewhen else before wiping into some indecipherable lhieroglyphic psychedelic doodle.
I find that the whippet nos has improved, but I'd never returned to what was decades ago. A couple of years ago I discovered that if you breathe automotive nos through the right kind of gas mask filter, it's fine to breathe and has a soul that is lost in modern whippets.
I have to stop now, but thanks for the message, and the appreciation of my writing .
Peace,
TMP
thanks for sharing. It's nice to know that this thread is still alive. Thanks for the well-wishes. I'm doing pretty well physically the last years- lots of yoga and healthier living.Of course I could relate to your stories.writing stuff down was my first route i took trying record my thoughts and I remember well the feeling starting to write a phrase and then seeming to be looking over my shoulder at me writing, and then the writing slanting off into somewhen else before wiping into some indecipherable lhieroglyphic psychedelic doodle.
I find that the whippet nos has improved, but I'd never returned to what was decades ago. A couple of years ago I discovered that if you breathe automotive nos through the right kind of gas mask filter, it's fine to breathe and has a soul that is lost in modern whippets.
I have to stop now, but thanks for the message, and the appreciation of my writing .
Peace,
TMP
TheMerryPrankster
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hey man , thanks for thinking of me . I suffered terrible material misfortune last year but it was the necessary catalyst to pointing my life in a new direction . Out of necessity, I started performing street music again for a living , and found that a summer spent outdoors playing music to very appreciative and kind people was rewarding and fulfilling and has me back in touch with the musician side of me . I have learned some self-control over the last years and rid myself of my unwanted vices and become more moderate or around. I am also trying to live more healthily physically s i have decided that I would like to liveto be 100 I have to look after the vessel that is going to take me the rest of the journey.
Naturally, moderate shamanism is an acceptable diet. More soon I hope.
TMP
Naturally, moderate shamanism is an acceptable diet. More soon I hope.
TMP
Great post - thanks for sharing and for the warning!
I can totally relate to this! Are there any posts around where you went into more detail about this? More than anything else I tried in the past n2o gave me this sense that it was opening my mind to profound yet simple truths about existence... but always so fleeting... I essentially gave up trying to bring anything substantial back. Very curious to hear if others have succeeded!
I can totally relate to this! Are there any posts around where you went into more detail about this? More than anything else I tried in the past n2o gave me this sense that it was opening my mind to profound yet simple truths about existence... but always so fleeting... I essentially gave up trying to bring anything substantial back. Very curious to hear if others have succeeded!
TheMerryPrankster
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Hi – it is so nice to know that people are still reading this thread, despite my protracted absence. Unfortunately, at the zenith of my enthusiasm for this thread, the hand of chaos interfered with my Zen – my karma ran over my dogma – and for some time I derailed, and never manifested as expression those experiences for which I had so desperately longed to share with our open minded audience (admittedly, the complexity of translating the subject of psychospiritual experience into the mono dimensional environment of linear text did make the task daunting enough to proliferate protracted procrastination on my part.
As you point out, the nature of nitrous and the depth of the insights of which it is capable of illuminating tend to be so fleeting and quickly forgotten that communicating more than a vague sense of the experience is so difficult that through the annals of history and the far reaches of Google there are very few in-depth first-hand coherent experiences on record. Hence my introducing additional substances in order to prolong, exaggerate or at least magnify, or otherwise enhance – specifically for the purposes of remembering – the nitrous experience.
It has been my intention, and on my mind a lot as of late, to continue where I left off – having had a number of years in between with a variety of additional experiences to augment that which I already felt I had come to understand – coupled with the fact that voice recognition software has finally come far enough to enable me to think in text in real-time.
I'll be back
TMP
As you point out, the nature of nitrous and the depth of the insights of which it is capable of illuminating tend to be so fleeting and quickly forgotten that communicating more than a vague sense of the experience is so difficult that through the annals of history and the far reaches of Google there are very few in-depth first-hand coherent experiences on record. Hence my introducing additional substances in order to prolong, exaggerate or at least magnify, or otherwise enhance – specifically for the purposes of remembering – the nitrous experience.
It has been my intention, and on my mind a lot as of late, to continue where I left off – having had a number of years in between with a variety of additional experiences to augment that which I already felt I had come to understand – coupled with the fact that voice recognition software has finally come far enough to enable me to think in text in real-time.
I'll be back
TMP
Jack-08067
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I came across this thread after battling with myself mentally for a long period of time due to my constant use on nitrous over the past year. And my desire to try and discover futher what is going through my mind whilst tripping. I have experienced trips unimaginable which not a lot of my friends cannot relate to when I try to explain, some of them have even laughed at me when I've told them some of my experiences and I feel they do not believe me. Or my facination with nitrous.
I have tried many different breathing techniques and other psychs with nitrous, usually doing them after I have been out and have taken ecstasy or ketamine is when I have experienced my most vivid and sometimes too often scary, petrifying trips. I see too many people inhaling and exhaling quickly, almost hyperventilating themselves, just achieving a head rush feeling or similar to that of poppers. This is how I started and quickly realised there is a far more effective way of taking nitrous which has become extremely addictive.
over the past year whenever I'm in a relaxed environment, usually with some techno music. I have been having trips that I can only describe as a battle with my conscience or some higher power giving me warnings to stop. It started off funny, like these shadows or entity's would make me jump resulting in me exhaling the balloon and loosing the trip. Very frustrating, so I would hit another, and another and this would repeat over and over, different everytime. And this stage I could tell myself that I'm just tripping as it felt almost dream like. Then things got more and more real, with people in the room all being involved, coincidence or not I hope some of you can relate, but the things that would unravel in front of me clear as day would make me feel that I'm living the trip, the trip was my life and whoever or whatever higher power exists would control everyone else to be involved in making that trip happen. Hard to explain however.
I feel like everytime I do a balloon I shouldn't be doing them which is why I keep getting warnings, is something telling me off because I'm discovering something deeper that I shouldn't be? sometimes I will feel like I've litterally figured out the meaning of life, the universe and everything. Although as the vivid clarity of my vision which is so bright whilst tripping compared to that of reality and often with colourful symbols constantly flashing in my eyes, a symbol that looks the same everytime I just can't ever recreate it when not tripping, has anyone experienced this symbol, I thought it was similar to that of the flower of life, although I'm unsure. Purple/Yellow. It's not until it fades away and my vision retuns to normal I realise I'm back out of the trip, and everything that I have just discovered is now just confusion. What just happened?
It was last year the trips started to effect my perception of nitrous and my fascination to discover is there more to this. I was in Ibiza and had been taking ecstasy all night. I got back to our apartment and did a balloon. Wow! These are incredible, clear as day everyone in the room multiplied, time was relapsing itself. I watched my friend repeat his movements about 4 times as if I had rewound and repeated him. The trips were getting harder and harder til eventually. Bright light, my eyes are open but all I can see is a extremely bright light. Am I dead? What's happened everything is dead silent, the 8 people that are in the room do now not excist, I cannot hear anything. Then I hear my elderly grandmothers voice, or what I think it is, she's taking to me, this is very odd I feel like she's sat there on the bed with me. I don't want her to see me like this, off my face on ecstasy, I feel like I'm having a long conversation with her. I come out of the trip and have the most horrible feeling, I'm almost sick. I think to myself why would she be there, I become upset inside and worried for the worst. Why I don't know but something just tells me that something bad has happened.
I flew home the next morning to find out that she had past away that night. But I already knew.
Ive had I few other mind boggling trips throughout the year whilst on nitrous that have really made me question is there something more to this. Every balloon that I do get scarier and scarier, I feel sometimes I'm just riding the trip and there's no escaping. I was back in Ibiza again in October. This time with my younger brother. We had been on ketamine whilst at the club. Went back to our hotel. Inhaled a balloon, the vibration feeling which I often get, With symbols starting happening, I then keep thinking about my heart, I can feel it beating very hard. I question myself, how bad are these for my health, I once heard about someone who had an anurism whilst inhaling nitrous resulting in her having a heart attack. It's all I kept thinking about, every balloon trip following was to do with my heart, one time the red balloon actually looked like a heart pumping. Scared the shit out of me, so I decided to close my eyes these trips were becoming to vivid. So I do another, this time I feel a detatchement. I'm having an outer body experience I panic and open my eyes, I'm looking down at myself in the room. Watching myself having a heart attack. It's terrifying to watch. I want to get out but the trip doesn't end. I'm watching my brother try to revive me. The most Horrible feeling comes over me again, is this it, have I died? I then get out of the trip to my amazement after a roller coaster of emotions I feel relieved that I'm alive. I experienced the emotion of excepting death, seeing my loved ones loose me. I feel like I experienced this as a gift and a final warning to wake up. Stop doing them. I told myself thats it. No more I'm done.
Moments later my brother did a balloon, dropped it on the floor and he went pale faced, as if he had seen a ghost. That's it he said no more I'm done. I begged him to tell me what he had seen but he didn't want to tell me. he got upset then told me I just watched you die. Now I'm scared.
I didn't touch another psyc or nitrous ballon for almost 3 months. Then NYE I went to a big rave in London. I was worried all night about taking drugs, until eventually after a few drinks I told myself to stop being so paranoid and dropped a E. The night got out of hand and I conifinued until the following morning at an afterparty, we had been mixing too many substances. Md, Ket, cocaine, silly looking back. I got home and was laying in bed when I started getting chest pains, managed to just make it upstairs to wake up my brother before I blacked out. I could hear my brother and my mums voices, who has been unaware I have ever touched drugs up until this point. but their voices are disappearing into the distance. It felt like this time it is definitely the end. Why didn't I listen to the warnings when I was given the chance. I wake up in an ambulance with an ECG rigged up to my chest after just suffering a minor heart attack.
How many chances do I want. The feeling of warnings I've been getting whilst on nitrous are probably as real as they seem but I'm to stubborn to believe it. I keep telling myself it's just my subconcious and probably some deep seated guilt about taking drugs perhaps causing me to constantly create these trips which are relatable to what it is I'm thinking about before hand. Whatever it is though fascinates me so much and I continue to have the urge to face my fears and inhale nitrous through these balloons. Box after box.
Until last week, I had the worst trip yet. I was in a hotel room after a festival. Everything was fantastic everyone was in a great mood. Good vibes all round . First few balloons were brilliant. Can't remember what happened but I felt great, mentally and physically during the trip. Then the next trip went from one extreme to the other. No more feeling of enlightenment. This time things turned dark, I instantly felt completely alone. Latin writing and symbols that I'm unfamiliar with apear on the ceiling, not the usual symbols that feel good if that makes sense. These feel sinister and evil, a symbol appears that I can't help but stare at, something's telling me not to look but I can't help it. I'm pulled in and I feel like I'm falling downwards into hell. I genuinely feel like I've just sold my soul to satan. I have another out of body experience, I'm watching myself on some kind of sacrificial satanic bed. I also have a strange feeling of de ja vu, although I have definitely not tripped this I would have remembered its petrifying. I suddenly feel like I'm dropped back onto the bed. And I'm back in the room. Everyone in the room is looking at me and burst into laughter. "What are you doing" "you always spaz out" on balloons think you should stop. I don't want to tell them but I feel like I've just been possessed. I'm worried, what happens if I am. Horrible thoughts cross my mind. I look at my self in the mirror, my eyes are drawn to the necklace I'm wearing, I've never really paid attention to the pendant, it was one I bought on holiday because I thought it just looked cool. It now looks more familiar than ever, wait is this one of the evil symbols that I've just seen. So I google satanic symbols on my phone. There it is.... Subconcious observation and coincidence the root to these trips? Or is there a darker side to nitrous and other dimensions we discover whilst tripping? Has anyone else experienced anything similar or am I just weird. Or possessed.
I have tried many different breathing techniques and other psychs with nitrous, usually doing them after I have been out and have taken ecstasy or ketamine is when I have experienced my most vivid and sometimes too often scary, petrifying trips. I see too many people inhaling and exhaling quickly, almost hyperventilating themselves, just achieving a head rush feeling or similar to that of poppers. This is how I started and quickly realised there is a far more effective way of taking nitrous which has become extremely addictive.
over the past year whenever I'm in a relaxed environment, usually with some techno music. I have been having trips that I can only describe as a battle with my conscience or some higher power giving me warnings to stop. It started off funny, like these shadows or entity's would make me jump resulting in me exhaling the balloon and loosing the trip. Very frustrating, so I would hit another, and another and this would repeat over and over, different everytime. And this stage I could tell myself that I'm just tripping as it felt almost dream like. Then things got more and more real, with people in the room all being involved, coincidence or not I hope some of you can relate, but the things that would unravel in front of me clear as day would make me feel that I'm living the trip, the trip was my life and whoever or whatever higher power exists would control everyone else to be involved in making that trip happen. Hard to explain however.
I feel like everytime I do a balloon I shouldn't be doing them which is why I keep getting warnings, is something telling me off because I'm discovering something deeper that I shouldn't be? sometimes I will feel like I've litterally figured out the meaning of life, the universe and everything. Although as the vivid clarity of my vision which is so bright whilst tripping compared to that of reality and often with colourful symbols constantly flashing in my eyes, a symbol that looks the same everytime I just can't ever recreate it when not tripping, has anyone experienced this symbol, I thought it was similar to that of the flower of life, although I'm unsure. Purple/Yellow. It's not until it fades away and my vision retuns to normal I realise I'm back out of the trip, and everything that I have just discovered is now just confusion. What just happened?
It was last year the trips started to effect my perception of nitrous and my fascination to discover is there more to this. I was in Ibiza and had been taking ecstasy all night. I got back to our apartment and did a balloon. Wow! These are incredible, clear as day everyone in the room multiplied, time was relapsing itself. I watched my friend repeat his movements about 4 times as if I had rewound and repeated him. The trips were getting harder and harder til eventually. Bright light, my eyes are open but all I can see is a extremely bright light. Am I dead? What's happened everything is dead silent, the 8 people that are in the room do now not excist, I cannot hear anything. Then I hear my elderly grandmothers voice, or what I think it is, she's taking to me, this is very odd I feel like she's sat there on the bed with me. I don't want her to see me like this, off my face on ecstasy, I feel like I'm having a long conversation with her. I come out of the trip and have the most horrible feeling, I'm almost sick. I think to myself why would she be there, I become upset inside and worried for the worst. Why I don't know but something just tells me that something bad has happened.
I flew home the next morning to find out that she had past away that night. But I already knew.
Ive had I few other mind boggling trips throughout the year whilst on nitrous that have really made me question is there something more to this. Every balloon that I do get scarier and scarier, I feel sometimes I'm just riding the trip and there's no escaping. I was back in Ibiza again in October. This time with my younger brother. We had been on ketamine whilst at the club. Went back to our hotel. Inhaled a balloon, the vibration feeling which I often get, With symbols starting happening, I then keep thinking about my heart, I can feel it beating very hard. I question myself, how bad are these for my health, I once heard about someone who had an anurism whilst inhaling nitrous resulting in her having a heart attack. It's all I kept thinking about, every balloon trip following was to do with my heart, one time the red balloon actually looked like a heart pumping. Scared the shit out of me, so I decided to close my eyes these trips were becoming to vivid. So I do another, this time I feel a detatchement. I'm having an outer body experience I panic and open my eyes, I'm looking down at myself in the room. Watching myself having a heart attack. It's terrifying to watch. I want to get out but the trip doesn't end. I'm watching my brother try to revive me. The most Horrible feeling comes over me again, is this it, have I died? I then get out of the trip to my amazement after a roller coaster of emotions I feel relieved that I'm alive. I experienced the emotion of excepting death, seeing my loved ones loose me. I feel like I experienced this as a gift and a final warning to wake up. Stop doing them. I told myself thats it. No more I'm done.
Moments later my brother did a balloon, dropped it on the floor and he went pale faced, as if he had seen a ghost. That's it he said no more I'm done. I begged him to tell me what he had seen but he didn't want to tell me. he got upset then told me I just watched you die. Now I'm scared.
I didn't touch another psyc or nitrous ballon for almost 3 months. Then NYE I went to a big rave in London. I was worried all night about taking drugs, until eventually after a few drinks I told myself to stop being so paranoid and dropped a E. The night got out of hand and I conifinued until the following morning at an afterparty, we had been mixing too many substances. Md, Ket, cocaine, silly looking back. I got home and was laying in bed when I started getting chest pains, managed to just make it upstairs to wake up my brother before I blacked out. I could hear my brother and my mums voices, who has been unaware I have ever touched drugs up until this point. but their voices are disappearing into the distance. It felt like this time it is definitely the end. Why didn't I listen to the warnings when I was given the chance. I wake up in an ambulance with an ECG rigged up to my chest after just suffering a minor heart attack.
How many chances do I want. The feeling of warnings I've been getting whilst on nitrous are probably as real as they seem but I'm to stubborn to believe it. I keep telling myself it's just my subconcious and probably some deep seated guilt about taking drugs perhaps causing me to constantly create these trips which are relatable to what it is I'm thinking about before hand. Whatever it is though fascinates me so much and I continue to have the urge to face my fears and inhale nitrous through these balloons. Box after box.
Until last week, I had the worst trip yet. I was in a hotel room after a festival. Everything was fantastic everyone was in a great mood. Good vibes all round . First few balloons were brilliant. Can't remember what happened but I felt great, mentally and physically during the trip. Then the next trip went from one extreme to the other. No more feeling of enlightenment. This time things turned dark, I instantly felt completely alone. Latin writing and symbols that I'm unfamiliar with apear on the ceiling, not the usual symbols that feel good if that makes sense. These feel sinister and evil, a symbol appears that I can't help but stare at, something's telling me not to look but I can't help it. I'm pulled in and I feel like I'm falling downwards into hell. I genuinely feel like I've just sold my soul to satan. I have another out of body experience, I'm watching myself on some kind of sacrificial satanic bed. I also have a strange feeling of de ja vu, although I have definitely not tripped this I would have remembered its petrifying. I suddenly feel like I'm dropped back onto the bed. And I'm back in the room. Everyone in the room is looking at me and burst into laughter. "What are you doing" "you always spaz out" on balloons think you should stop. I don't want to tell them but I feel like I've just been possessed. I'm worried, what happens if I am. Horrible thoughts cross my mind. I look at my self in the mirror, my eyes are drawn to the necklace I'm wearing, I've never really paid attention to the pendant, it was one I bought on holiday because I thought it just looked cool. It now looks more familiar than ever, wait is this one of the evil symbols that I've just seen. So I google satanic symbols on my phone. There it is.... Subconcious observation and coincidence the root to these trips? Or is there a darker side to nitrous and other dimensions we discover whilst tripping? Has anyone else experienced anything similar or am I just weird. Or possessed.
Just A Guy
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2013
- Messages
- 2,542
I've experienced similar but not exactly the same while researching the typical psychedelic substances, and I always make a good choice and am saved, but wonder if that was my final rescue? Will the next one be the one to get me? With that in mind, I think I've made my decision to take or not to take 200ug 1P-LSD today. I'll pass.
Edit -- I'd later come to enjoy 1P-LSD many times over, and loved it. Peace and good luck.
Edit -- I'd later come to enjoy 1P-LSD many times over, and loved it. Peace and good luck.
Last edited:
bringsustogether
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2015
- Messages
- 2
Hi TMP,
I sent you a PM about this, but just in case other people have something to say about the topic I'm gonna post that PM here:
Me to TMP: "I have become incredibly fascinated by your stories about gascid, and I am interested in how you would compare the gascid experience to the DMT experience, if this is at all possible. Do you have a preference between the two?"
I sent you a PM about this, but just in case other people have something to say about the topic I'm gonna post that PM here:
Me to TMP: "I have become incredibly fascinated by your stories about gascid, and I am interested in how you would compare the gascid experience to the DMT experience, if this is at all possible. Do you have a preference between the two?"
FoxInTheBox
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2015
- Messages
- 1
I Think I Know What could help with your pain
i just finished watching a documentary on ambien and how it restores normality to damaged brains i think this could really help out with your neropathic pain
i just finished watching a documentary on ambien and how it restores normality to damaged brains i think this could really help out with your neropathic pain
TheMerryPrankster
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 9, 2007
- Messages
- 231
Thank you! Having successfully quit taking opioid painkillers, other options are very much appreciated. I'll look into it
TMP
TMP
Hey Merry
I tried to private message you but it appears your inbox is full.
I'd love to chat and share my experience with you. I've used nitrous/lsd on a monthly for the last 2 years.
Flick me a Private Message if you manage to clear your inbox out. I think you would love to hear my thoughts on that matter
Cheers mate
I tried to private message you but it appears your inbox is full.
I'd love to chat and share my experience with you. I've used nitrous/lsd on a monthly for the last 2 years.
Flick me a Private Message if you manage to clear your inbox out. I think you would love to hear my thoughts on that matter
Cheers mate
cameronthought
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2015
- Messages
- 1
After parsing through all 16 pages of this thread I have to correct something from the original post.
Now, brief disclaimer here, I’m not trying to justify nitrous (ab)use, as it’s something I myself have had problems with, but you, TMP, presented some information initially which is well… incorrect.
Quick personal backstory, I’m a happy psychonaut, and a neuroscientist, and I enjoyed the usefulness of N2O to achieve the same clear-minded “Ah the universe fits together” state that you mentioned. But due to its intense and short lived euphoria, I, like you, began developing an addiction quite rapidly, and then some subsequent neurological symptoms.
The first fears I had were all related to the ingestion of N2O blocking oxygen uptake in the lungs. We had ran experiments in lab relating to hypoxia and I was required to learn the fundamental symptoms, and the dangers. So I did the quickest thing I could think of and ordered a pulse oximeter (device to measure blood oxygenation). And what I found was that the method I was using - fill lungs half with N2O, fill the rest of the way with air, breath shallowly, but constantly till lungs are empty, repeat - did not result in a significant (and I mean non-statistically significant at p5) decrease in oxygen.
So that brings me to my first point… nitrous is one of the most rapidly removed chemicals from the bloodstream. It’s small size and high reactivity give it fantastic solubility, and every ‘clean up’ process/system in your body is great at removing it, e.g. the liver (we’ll come back to that). Any cumulative effect would be through the duration of the N2O usage, and would not continue in the body for more than maximum 4 hours afterwards, assuming ~180lb bodymass.
Secondly, hypoxia is not something that could be caused by N2O in the bloodstream. There is no reason free N2O would cause complications for normal O2 transport through the body. The two act together, and the only way to achieve saturation at levels that would obstruct O2 delivery would be to actually inject N2O saturated plasma directly into the bloodstream (which actually sounds awesome now that I think of it!).
So this is the point of yours I wish to humbly correct. “The effect of Nitrous Oxide is *cumulative*. If you do it too long, it builds up in your bloodstream. Then you do not have enough oxygen in your system - hypoxia sets in, and your brain starts to die. And once you go past a certain point there is *no* coming back - ever. Your life is fucked - forever - till the day you die.”
The buildup of N2O in the bloodstream from bulb usage alone does not reach levels which would or could cause hypoxia. Repetitive usage without breathing, huffing, or using a tank with a mask all could cause hypoxia.
Now I am not dismissing your personal experience, rather attempting to reframe it. Yes hypoxia can cause neuropathy like what you experienced, however it would have to come from an acute incident. This would be if you had a mask on and fell asleep. Or, in a non nitrous setting, were choking and were *without* oxygen for around 3 minutes (at which point non-recoverable neuropathy begins).
I believe what you experienced was actually a B12 depletion brought to symptomatic levels due to physical activity. The N2O cleaned out by the liver (see, brought it back!) has a tendency to bond to the stores of B12 (Cobalamin) in the liver. This causes the cobalamin to “deactivate” rendering it completely unusable by the body.
There are lots of problems with B12 depletion, memory loss, depression, discoloration or even hyperpigmentation of skin, hair loss… But one of the most dramatic symptoms is neuropathy leading to ascending distal numbness (fingers and toes, spreading toward the trunk of the body).
This neuropathy is directly related to the role B12 plays in creating the Myelin Sheaths which protect neuron axons and dendrites. Without B12, along with it’s products homocysteine Methylmalonic acid, the body is not able to produce Myelin. As this protective coating over the neurons begins to break down, there is nothing to replace it, and cellular damage begins to occur, i.e. neuropathy
The breakdown of spinal Myelin causes the distal numbness associated with B12 neuropathy, and in more advanced cases, results in lhermitte's sign, or painful “electrical” firing when the spinal column is compressed.
Interestingly, the symptoms are nearly identical to when another spinal neuropathy such as MS results in active Myelin destruction.
So that’s all well and good, but the thing is this. Your body obtains B12 through eating meat, eggs, and a very small amount of specific plants (hence the high rate of B12 neuropathy in vegans), and it’s not very good at getting that, only around 0.5% of B12 is absorbed through ingestion. So your body filters it out of your blood and stores it in your liver. (Do you see where this is going?). When those reserves in your liver are deactivated from N2O, you are nearly incapable of returning to normal B12 levels without some outside assistance, and in theory the rate of B12 replenishment through natural dietary means is incapable of catching up to the rate of demyelination.
This last year, in the midst of a very stressful (both physically and mentally) experience, started getting the same rapidly ascending distal numbness, brain fog, loss of memory, and difficulty focusing. I’d read medical journals on N2O and B12 deficiency (thanks neuroscience background) and was able to determine that that was the likely culprit.
I went to the Dr. and after explaining the situation, N2O and all, was given B12 injections into my legs for 2 weeks until the numbness had stopped ascending and began to decrease. At that point I began taking B12 subcutaneously twice a day for around 2 months. I had developed lhermitte's sign as well, and treated that separately with Lions Mane Mushroom Extract (needed to rebuild Myelin rapidly, and LMM promotes human NGF), and with abstaining from N2O was back to perfect health in just under 5 months.
I believe the same likely happened to you. However, it doesn’t appear from your story that any efforts were made to repair the damaged myelin, resulting in more serious and permanent neuropathy. If you still have pain symptoms, especially relating to spinal cord contortion, I seriously do recommend looking into LMM extract. Take it for a couple months, see how you feel, worst case scenario you’ll have better memory and a healthier gut.
I still enjoy N2O, but now make sure to pre-load B12 an hour before, and post-load an hour afterwards. And, of course, I’ve cut my intake way down.
Thanks,
camthough
Now, brief disclaimer here, I’m not trying to justify nitrous (ab)use, as it’s something I myself have had problems with, but you, TMP, presented some information initially which is well… incorrect.
Quick personal backstory, I’m a happy psychonaut, and a neuroscientist, and I enjoyed the usefulness of N2O to achieve the same clear-minded “Ah the universe fits together” state that you mentioned. But due to its intense and short lived euphoria, I, like you, began developing an addiction quite rapidly, and then some subsequent neurological symptoms.
The first fears I had were all related to the ingestion of N2O blocking oxygen uptake in the lungs. We had ran experiments in lab relating to hypoxia and I was required to learn the fundamental symptoms, and the dangers. So I did the quickest thing I could think of and ordered a pulse oximeter (device to measure blood oxygenation). And what I found was that the method I was using - fill lungs half with N2O, fill the rest of the way with air, breath shallowly, but constantly till lungs are empty, repeat - did not result in a significant (and I mean non-statistically significant at p5) decrease in oxygen.
So that brings me to my first point… nitrous is one of the most rapidly removed chemicals from the bloodstream. It’s small size and high reactivity give it fantastic solubility, and every ‘clean up’ process/system in your body is great at removing it, e.g. the liver (we’ll come back to that). Any cumulative effect would be through the duration of the N2O usage, and would not continue in the body for more than maximum 4 hours afterwards, assuming ~180lb bodymass.
Secondly, hypoxia is not something that could be caused by N2O in the bloodstream. There is no reason free N2O would cause complications for normal O2 transport through the body. The two act together, and the only way to achieve saturation at levels that would obstruct O2 delivery would be to actually inject N2O saturated plasma directly into the bloodstream (which actually sounds awesome now that I think of it!).
So this is the point of yours I wish to humbly correct. “The effect of Nitrous Oxide is *cumulative*. If you do it too long, it builds up in your bloodstream. Then you do not have enough oxygen in your system - hypoxia sets in, and your brain starts to die. And once you go past a certain point there is *no* coming back - ever. Your life is fucked - forever - till the day you die.”
The buildup of N2O in the bloodstream from bulb usage alone does not reach levels which would or could cause hypoxia. Repetitive usage without breathing, huffing, or using a tank with a mask all could cause hypoxia.
Now I am not dismissing your personal experience, rather attempting to reframe it. Yes hypoxia can cause neuropathy like what you experienced, however it would have to come from an acute incident. This would be if you had a mask on and fell asleep. Or, in a non nitrous setting, were choking and were *without* oxygen for around 3 minutes (at which point non-recoverable neuropathy begins).
I believe what you experienced was actually a B12 depletion brought to symptomatic levels due to physical activity. The N2O cleaned out by the liver (see, brought it back!) has a tendency to bond to the stores of B12 (Cobalamin) in the liver. This causes the cobalamin to “deactivate” rendering it completely unusable by the body.
There are lots of problems with B12 depletion, memory loss, depression, discoloration or even hyperpigmentation of skin, hair loss… But one of the most dramatic symptoms is neuropathy leading to ascending distal numbness (fingers and toes, spreading toward the trunk of the body).
This neuropathy is directly related to the role B12 plays in creating the Myelin Sheaths which protect neuron axons and dendrites. Without B12, along with it’s products homocysteine Methylmalonic acid, the body is not able to produce Myelin. As this protective coating over the neurons begins to break down, there is nothing to replace it, and cellular damage begins to occur, i.e. neuropathy
The breakdown of spinal Myelin causes the distal numbness associated with B12 neuropathy, and in more advanced cases, results in lhermitte's sign, or painful “electrical” firing when the spinal column is compressed.
Interestingly, the symptoms are nearly identical to when another spinal neuropathy such as MS results in active Myelin destruction.
So that’s all well and good, but the thing is this. Your body obtains B12 through eating meat, eggs, and a very small amount of specific plants (hence the high rate of B12 neuropathy in vegans), and it’s not very good at getting that, only around 0.5% of B12 is absorbed through ingestion. So your body filters it out of your blood and stores it in your liver. (Do you see where this is going?). When those reserves in your liver are deactivated from N2O, you are nearly incapable of returning to normal B12 levels without some outside assistance, and in theory the rate of B12 replenishment through natural dietary means is incapable of catching up to the rate of demyelination.
This last year, in the midst of a very stressful (both physically and mentally) experience, started getting the same rapidly ascending distal numbness, brain fog, loss of memory, and difficulty focusing. I’d read medical journals on N2O and B12 deficiency (thanks neuroscience background) and was able to determine that that was the likely culprit.
I went to the Dr. and after explaining the situation, N2O and all, was given B12 injections into my legs for 2 weeks until the numbness had stopped ascending and began to decrease. At that point I began taking B12 subcutaneously twice a day for around 2 months. I had developed lhermitte's sign as well, and treated that separately with Lions Mane Mushroom Extract (needed to rebuild Myelin rapidly, and LMM promotes human NGF), and with abstaining from N2O was back to perfect health in just under 5 months.
I believe the same likely happened to you. However, it doesn’t appear from your story that any efforts were made to repair the damaged myelin, resulting in more serious and permanent neuropathy. If you still have pain symptoms, especially relating to spinal cord contortion, I seriously do recommend looking into LMM extract. Take it for a couple months, see how you feel, worst case scenario you’ll have better memory and a healthier gut.
I still enjoy N2O, but now make sure to pre-load B12 an hour before, and post-load an hour afterwards. And, of course, I’ve cut my intake way down.
Thanks,
camthough