I am back on smokes more than ever. Like 1-2 packs a day and of many brands.
Have packs of newports, parliament lights, camel lights, camel unfiltered, camel crush, marlboro "reds", two types of djarum clove cigs, a bag of roll your own, and a bag of pipe tobacco w/ pipe. I smoke all of these daily and have been for the past month since i relapsed.
I am finally able to go to a bar and socialize without having nothing to do half the time if i am not drinking. My social life is better than its been in a while. Ive met tons of new people. But a feel like a piece of shit, and worse perhaps is that i feel like shit from the cigs. Even though i love them i know how much better my body feels without them.
During an anxious comedown from some L, in a tent, i once wrote in anguish "why do we do this to ourselves?"
Thats how i feel. Weak! But i love to smoke...
arggg time to light up another
Have packs of newports, parliament lights, camel lights, camel unfiltered, camel crush, marlboro "reds", two types of djarum clove cigs, a bag of roll your own, and a bag of pipe tobacco w/ pipe. I smoke all of these daily and have been for the past month since i relapsed.
I am finally able to go to a bar and socialize without having nothing to do half the time if i am not drinking. My social life is better than its been in a while. Ive met tons of new people. But a feel like a piece of shit, and worse perhaps is that i feel like shit from the cigs. Even though i love them i know how much better my body feels without them.
During an anxious comedown from some L, in a tent, i once wrote in anguish "why do we do this to ourselves?"
Thats how i feel. Weak! But i love to smoke...
arggg time to light up another
