Feeling Discomfort from Smoking Cigarettes
As a lot of smokers say, and as I have personally found out, the buzz one gets from smoking a cigarette for their first few weeks of smoking is as good as the buzz gets, sometimes never returning even after long breaks from smoking.
I've noticed that I can only enjoy smoking if I only smoke for a few days then take a week or two off from smoking - otherwise I have found that smoking physically makes me feel like absolute shit. Why is this?? Does anyone else experience this?
Even though I know it's going to make me feel shitty, I sometimes smoke anyways out of boredom, and to give in to craving.
These episodes of feeling like shit after smoking only get worse the more often I smoke, until it gets to the point of causing so much discomfort that I have an anxiety attack, and tell myself to quit for a while.
I can't imagine what the cause of my symptoms are... Maybe it's because I have been using amphetamine long before I started smoking, and I think it caused me vascular damage. Now, the blood pressure increase from smoking is maybe compounding with the vascular damage, leading to my symptoms.
Or is this how everyone feels? But maybe they have become desensitized to it or don't notice it?
I can't describe the discomfort as it is a qualia of displeasure that I can't find words for.
I guess maybe I could describe it as similar to the pain one experiences when they look into a bright light while having a migraine, but that sensation of discomfort is all over my entire body, not just in my head.
It lasts for about 5-15 minutes, with after effects lasting up to 45 minutes.
Sometimes I feel nauseous too.
You might think that maybe my body just doesn't enjoy nicotine or tobacco, but that couldnt be right because for my first few weeks of smoking I LOVED it. But I could only smoke about half a cigarette before I got too dizzy. Maybe I'm just smoking cigarettes too fast (but I usually finish my cigarettes in the same time that other smokers do), or maybe I haven't been smoking consistently enough to have a tolerance that matches the speed at which I smoke cigarettes.
Maybe I'm inhaling the smoke wrong?
Maybe my mind is just very fine-tuned with the condition of my body's health. I have panic disorder, and one theory I've had is that I get panic attacks when something is wrong with my body, like maybe I have a cold or flu or something kicking in, and having a panic attack is maybe my body's way of subconsciously alerting my body. Perhaps then my mind is just sensitive to physical body loads from drugs like nicotine.
My mother and step father chain smoked around me constantly for the first 17 years of my life. Maybe my lungs and body have just had it with cigarette smoke?
I want to enjoy smoking again, although I know it isn't healthy - I feel that on the rare occasions when I do enjoy smoking, I am still able to control myself and not start chain smoking.
I just want to be able to smoke 2-4 cigarettes a day and enjoy them when I do.
Thanks for any advice or responses. Sorry I know this post got kind of long and maybe redundant. Im on speed right now so its hard to judge things like that.
I'm really at a loss for a definite answer.
