Saint Alprazolam
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2016
- Messages
- 12
Hello.
Although I have used Blue light as a reference point and fount of knowledge since I started abusing any substance. I've never talked this openly regarding my life with anyone but those closest to me so this is a leap of Faith so to say. I would appreciate any feedback or discussion since I will probably have questions placed throughout the post. Set up camp, it might be a long one. And here we go..
I am a 19 (birthday is on Jan.16) year old teen male from Arkansas. Although many people associate it with negative connotation such as that of a red neck or any other negative word in that context; I was born in S/W Arkansas and have no southern borne biase. One of the main problems in my town is the lack of entertainment and most people substitute it with church. We have 64 churches in a county with the biggest town holding a whopping population of 5700 citizens. I starting working at a movie theater after returning from a Puerto Rican mission trip and it is there that I first had a mind altering experience. I had just got broken up with by my second girlfriend and was upset. My coworker decided to get me high. And it is on that night that I learned to over indulge. I smoked 5-6 hits out of a gravity bong and became high as he'll but sick as a dog. It was spectacular. Time literally slowed down that night. It was skin tingling. Other than the dizziness....?
After that I quickly moved up the ladder and a friend gave me some Norco 10's and told me to start with 30mg first time. I woke up with no feeling in any of my body. Even my dick was numb. (Question #1: Why did I wake up with no feeling in any part of my body. It only tingled. It was the most relaxed I have ever been.) After that night I was also smoking almost daily at this point. Now my manager trained me to embezzle money because we were paid underwage and still taxed even though it was under the table. Because of this I was lacking any concept of money. So in turn I got used to smoking a quarter of regg every sitting. I was 17 so I couldn't take it home. Like stated before this early binging comes to bite me in the ass. I then got access to 3 adderall scripts ever month along with a focalin script traded for a roll of dip. Because of this I ended up taking 150Mg adderal xr/ir daily for 2 months and then half of that ever few days routinely for the following three months. I fell in love. But those days soon passed and I summed it up to a honeymoon phase. For then I met a dear friend Micheal "Sasquatch" Spears. (R.I.P) although he was an ex army eod and ten years older than me he saw the maturity I posses and we became like brother. He also loved binging on pills also. He was getting 120 Norco 10s monthly/90 1mg ativan monthly. I quickly learned the reason benzos are deadly. As a person with no tolerance at this point I would start with 6mg and work up from there. Now we will skip ahead a little to hurry this along. The following school year after that was my senior year. I got expelled after one semester with a 3.7gpa and from then got my ged and moved to little rock with my mom. After three months of living with her I met my best friend Shawn M. He worked at Moes southwest grill with me and after time passed we decided to roommate together. This is what brought me to my first xanax experience 2mg 4-bar. Our downstairs neighbor sold them out of giant sandwich bags. He told us he had to buy them in 300 quantities. My paycheck went to those along with his op30's. I had a near fatal overdose in my opinion but robin Williams died for me that day.( Different Story) After the xanax I moved to a month long meth binge. I lost 35 pounds in a month and also lost my friend Shawn. I handled a 10 day come down like a champ but he was not as receptive to it. He kicked me out after a rough day at work. I moved to my dads the next day.
Small town life returns
I moved back. Got a job at sonic and then quickly met two managers who moved here for the grand opening. I made friends with them fast. After awhile the guy was paranoid of me and it made his girlfriend and I realize we had feelings for each other. They broke up he moved back to oklahoma and we are together still this day. Her name is Kristen for reference. We got an apartment and after a month I met a neighbor although we no longer live there I drive 5 hours monthly to take him to the pharmacy and in return I get 40 mg free xanax in footballs and 300 mg hydrocodone in Norco 10s for free. I go get them in two days. One question I do have is why do pills effect me differently than others. I get these pills once a month and they last 3 days. To start getting high when I first get them I take 30-50 mg hydrocodone and 6mg xanax then over the next 8 hours I take another 5-12mg xanax withought blacking out but being noticeably barred. I just don't understand how I can take above 20mg xanax and still function and safely drive around town. Is this normal? Shouldn't there be repercussions?
Now for medical background. I have GAD and a seizure disorder but my doctor says they are pseudoseizures caused by anxiety. I have had two seizure. I am also diagnosed with high blood pressure and my resting bp is 158/130.
Prescriptions as follow
8-.5 Mg ativan monthly
18 capacet monthly
Linsopril daily
Metoplerol* 2x daily
Depicot 3x daily- I haven't taken it
Imitrex- as needed for cluster headaches, haven't taken
I would appreciate any answers thankyou
Although I have used Blue light as a reference point and fount of knowledge since I started abusing any substance. I've never talked this openly regarding my life with anyone but those closest to me so this is a leap of Faith so to say. I would appreciate any feedback or discussion since I will probably have questions placed throughout the post. Set up camp, it might be a long one. And here we go..
I am a 19 (birthday is on Jan.16) year old teen male from Arkansas. Although many people associate it with negative connotation such as that of a red neck or any other negative word in that context; I was born in S/W Arkansas and have no southern borne biase. One of the main problems in my town is the lack of entertainment and most people substitute it with church. We have 64 churches in a county with the biggest town holding a whopping population of 5700 citizens. I starting working at a movie theater after returning from a Puerto Rican mission trip and it is there that I first had a mind altering experience. I had just got broken up with by my second girlfriend and was upset. My coworker decided to get me high. And it is on that night that I learned to over indulge. I smoked 5-6 hits out of a gravity bong and became high as he'll but sick as a dog. It was spectacular. Time literally slowed down that night. It was skin tingling. Other than the dizziness....?
After that I quickly moved up the ladder and a friend gave me some Norco 10's and told me to start with 30mg first time. I woke up with no feeling in any of my body. Even my dick was numb. (Question #1: Why did I wake up with no feeling in any part of my body. It only tingled. It was the most relaxed I have ever been.) After that night I was also smoking almost daily at this point. Now my manager trained me to embezzle money because we were paid underwage and still taxed even though it was under the table. Because of this I was lacking any concept of money. So in turn I got used to smoking a quarter of regg every sitting. I was 17 so I couldn't take it home. Like stated before this early binging comes to bite me in the ass. I then got access to 3 adderall scripts ever month along with a focalin script traded for a roll of dip. Because of this I ended up taking 150Mg adderal xr/ir daily for 2 months and then half of that ever few days routinely for the following three months. I fell in love. But those days soon passed and I summed it up to a honeymoon phase. For then I met a dear friend Micheal "Sasquatch" Spears. (R.I.P) although he was an ex army eod and ten years older than me he saw the maturity I posses and we became like brother. He also loved binging on pills also. He was getting 120 Norco 10s monthly/90 1mg ativan monthly. I quickly learned the reason benzos are deadly. As a person with no tolerance at this point I would start with 6mg and work up from there. Now we will skip ahead a little to hurry this along. The following school year after that was my senior year. I got expelled after one semester with a 3.7gpa and from then got my ged and moved to little rock with my mom. After three months of living with her I met my best friend Shawn M. He worked at Moes southwest grill with me and after time passed we decided to roommate together. This is what brought me to my first xanax experience 2mg 4-bar. Our downstairs neighbor sold them out of giant sandwich bags. He told us he had to buy them in 300 quantities. My paycheck went to those along with his op30's. I had a near fatal overdose in my opinion but robin Williams died for me that day.( Different Story) After the xanax I moved to a month long meth binge. I lost 35 pounds in a month and also lost my friend Shawn. I handled a 10 day come down like a champ but he was not as receptive to it. He kicked me out after a rough day at work. I moved to my dads the next day.
Small town life returns
I moved back. Got a job at sonic and then quickly met two managers who moved here for the grand opening. I made friends with them fast. After awhile the guy was paranoid of me and it made his girlfriend and I realize we had feelings for each other. They broke up he moved back to oklahoma and we are together still this day. Her name is Kristen for reference. We got an apartment and after a month I met a neighbor although we no longer live there I drive 5 hours monthly to take him to the pharmacy and in return I get 40 mg free xanax in footballs and 300 mg hydrocodone in Norco 10s for free. I go get them in two days. One question I do have is why do pills effect me differently than others. I get these pills once a month and they last 3 days. To start getting high when I first get them I take 30-50 mg hydrocodone and 6mg xanax then over the next 8 hours I take another 5-12mg xanax withought blacking out but being noticeably barred. I just don't understand how I can take above 20mg xanax and still function and safely drive around town. Is this normal? Shouldn't there be repercussions?
Now for medical background. I have GAD and a seizure disorder but my doctor says they are pseudoseizures caused by anxiety. I have had two seizure. I am also diagnosed with high blood pressure and my resting bp is 158/130.
Prescriptions as follow
8-.5 Mg ativan monthly
18 capacet monthly
Linsopril daily
Metoplerol* 2x daily
Depicot 3x daily- I haven't taken it
Imitrex- as needed for cluster headaches, haven't taken
I would appreciate any answers thankyou
