Hi all !! I guess you could call me a veteran - been living the life for decades now. My story is interesting in that I started out like many - and it caused me to suffer greatly. No money, lost jobs, severed Family ties . . . poor health . . . the works.
That has all changed but not like you might think. After more than 30 years, I now know what works for "me", which is to continue but to scale back. That allows me to continue visiting the many "worlds of wonder" that I cannot visit any other way.
The key is - you can't stay in those worlds 24x7. The other key is to stop the shame - why ? My only crime is that I like feeling good. To see millions locked up for 5, 10 or more years for trying to feel good just makes me furious.
Admittedly it took a long time but I moderated about 15 years ago and have not gone back to the old ways.
It consists of doing a little of this, a little of that, and at the same time I got a good job, got married, raised a kid that just graduated from College. For the most part I am fine, although I am sure some inner changes exist that are not entirely good.
I will admit that it is still a tricky balancing act and I must always keep my guard up.
My Father says I am "white knuckling it" - maybe but it's a fun white knuckle.
It is either that or spend all of my time puttering in the yard, politely clapping at PTA meetings, etc etc
I cannot plod through a mundane existence !! I need some excitement while I am on this earth.
So I continue and the warnings from others never stop. You know - I wish I had a nickel for every time I was told that my future consisted of either Prison or Death. Neither has occurred. With moderation, marriage, etc . . all the people that shunned me have accepted me back in their lives. But I realize they would dump me in a heartbeat if I even spent one week out on a run. So far I don't need that - a day here and there is fine. Life is good.
That has all changed but not like you might think. After more than 30 years, I now know what works for "me", which is to continue but to scale back. That allows me to continue visiting the many "worlds of wonder" that I cannot visit any other way.
The key is - you can't stay in those worlds 24x7. The other key is to stop the shame - why ? My only crime is that I like feeling good. To see millions locked up for 5, 10 or more years for trying to feel good just makes me furious.
Admittedly it took a long time but I moderated about 15 years ago and have not gone back to the old ways.
It consists of doing a little of this, a little of that, and at the same time I got a good job, got married, raised a kid that just graduated from College. For the most part I am fine, although I am sure some inner changes exist that are not entirely good.
I will admit that it is still a tricky balancing act and I must always keep my guard up.
My Father says I am "white knuckling it" - maybe but it's a fun white knuckle.
It is either that or spend all of my time puttering in the yard, politely clapping at PTA meetings, etc etc
I cannot plod through a mundane existence !! I need some excitement while I am on this earth.
So I continue and the warnings from others never stop. You know - I wish I had a nickel for every time I was told that my future consisted of either Prison or Death. Neither has occurred. With moderation, marriage, etc . . all the people that shunned me have accepted me back in their lives. But I realize they would dump me in a heartbeat if I even spent one week out on a run. So far I don't need that - a day here and there is fine. Life is good.
