In short, I'm in this for therapeutic benefits, not to roll. Though to be clear, I do not look down on or judge those who do so. No flak.
I suffer from weapons-grade anxiety. Anxiety like you read about. Baseline, my inhibitions are so high that I won't (read: can't) leave my house for weeks at a time. This problem makes alcohol a natural solution, which is why my father's a career drunk - I'm all but positive he has the same problem. I've avoided alcohol for that reason, though I do use phenibut for the same reason he drinks. Phenibut's not an ideal drug (read: finicky tolerance curve, hyper-anxiety during withdrawal), but it's the most ideal thing I've found per my goals and my situation. On it, I've gotten my license, gotten a job, and I lost 90 pounds. I can speak without paranoia. Yes, it's fucking incredible.
Counterintuitively, amphetamines do not cause my anxiety to spike. SWIM prefers "dietician's speed" (Bontril and such) or plain old amphetamine over meth/MDMA. Why? It allows me to focus and power through the walls my mind throws up without also derailing me. It also suppresses my appetite, which is necessary as insane hunger has always been a side effect of my particular brand of generalized anxiety disorder.
Anyway, that's my situation. Thanks for having me!
I suffer from weapons-grade anxiety. Anxiety like you read about. Baseline, my inhibitions are so high that I won't (read: can't) leave my house for weeks at a time. This problem makes alcohol a natural solution, which is why my father's a career drunk - I'm all but positive he has the same problem. I've avoided alcohol for that reason, though I do use phenibut for the same reason he drinks. Phenibut's not an ideal drug (read: finicky tolerance curve, hyper-anxiety during withdrawal), but it's the most ideal thing I've found per my goals and my situation. On it, I've gotten my license, gotten a job, and I lost 90 pounds. I can speak without paranoia. Yes, it's fucking incredible.
Counterintuitively, amphetamines do not cause my anxiety to spike. SWIM prefers "dietician's speed" (Bontril and such) or plain old amphetamine over meth/MDMA. Why? It allows me to focus and power through the walls my mind throws up without also derailing me. It also suppresses my appetite, which is necessary as insane hunger has always been a side effect of my particular brand of generalized anxiety disorder.
Anyway, that's my situation. Thanks for having me!
