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New HPPD symptoms

I

iChelsea

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Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
48
I have HPPD. I also have a few strange symptoms that I've never heard of.

1)Visual Snow resulting from Mephedrone.

2)Time Skip

This one is very strange. I described it in a previous thread.

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=542922

Its kind of like time taking miniscule steps foward and one miniscule step backwards. So if I am scrolling down a page quickly, the page appears to jump back continuously.

3) Increased Depth Perception

Space seems to be somehow deeper. Things that are two dimensional often appear to gain another dimension. For example, light colored text on a dark colored background appears to be coming off of the page.

11rysdy.jpg


Whenever there is a very high definition television with a realistic image, like a newscaster, I get the impression that the person is real. It looks as though they are an actual 3 dimensional person in the room.

I find this interesting coupled with the fact that in the fourth dimension, space would be based off of a tesseract which is like a cube with each of the 6 two dimensional sides gaining another dimension to become cubes.


4. Faces
Also, at certain times peoples faces seem to look strange, like when I am tripping. I've always wondered if other people experience this.

You know when you press your face to the mirror of a medicine cabinet, and your face looks like a whole face made of two of the same halves? It looks like that.

matt-damon.jpg

like the left and right images

I feel as though this is strongly related with something i was reading

In 1827 Möbius realized that a fourth dimension would allow a three-dimensional form to be rotated onto its mirror-image
Click to expand...
 
my first advse is to start thinking less in the problem! how long have been this problem? when does it started? is it reducing intensity with time? if its hppd it will go away with time... clonazepam was successful solving hppd, but if you have this level of hppd would get medical help for some cheap benzos that would come easily...:\
 
iChelsea said:
Whenever there is a very high definition television with a realistic image, like a newscaster, I get the impression that the person is real. It looks as though they are an actual 3 dimensional person in the room.
Click to expand...

Are you sure its not just the hd tv???
 
ermm.

Well the only effect from mephedrone was the visual snow. I've had that for about six months, it never bothered me in any way.

The other symptoms come and go, but I only noticed them after LSD.

I am fairly certain I don't have any type of psychosis. I've had these symptoms for at least a month or two and they haven't interfered with my life. I don't feel paranoid, and I am able to recognize that the symptoms are simply visual disturbances. At the most, when I notice them I just think "Hmm the visuals are back again" and proceed with my life.


The problem began when I had a bad trip about a month ago. Ever since then, when I get high, peoples face get the mirror effect to a very extreme effect and everything looks kind of distorted, and I have a panic attack. But when it happens, it looks like how my bad trip looked, and I freak out thinking this is never going to go away, this feeling is stuck.

It might just be the HDTV and I am just thinking about it too hard but it just looks so realistic and I don't remember ever getting that impression before the whole mirror face thing happened.
 
Another symptom I forgot to mention is seeing fractals everywhere. This is the weirdest one. Because it only happens when I think about it. It had been gone for almost a month. I was doing abit of research about HPPD today and thinking a lot about the symmetry I see everywhere, and I thought...hm i wonder if I the fractals are back again. Because it has happened before. So I looked down at my hair, and sure enough, the fractals were there.

My hallucinations aren't really hallucinations in the ordinary sense of the word. Its more like overriding a filter system that prevents you from noticing a pattern, so to speak. Like if I look at my hair, i can notice lots of fractal-ish patterns in the shape of the hairs and the way they overlap on themselves. But If i look at each hair and the placement of them, they are still in the same place, and I can point to the placement and draw what i see and someone who does not have my symptoms will confirm that is how it looks.

I also have an overwhelming feeling that my mind is trying to tell me something. I just can't for the life of me figure out what it is.
 
iChelsea said:
I also have an overwhelming feeling that my mind is trying to tell me something. I just can't for the life of me figure out what it is.
Click to expand...

We are all one.

That picture of the mirrored face on the right reminds me EXACTLY of what people have looked like on some 2c-e trips !!

I'd meant to say left.
 
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Don't the symptoms have to be severe (life-threatening or otherwise) to be called HPPD?

I see after-images and have CEVs when i'm outside in sunlight, visual snow if i haven't slept enough (even just one night), audial confusion -- i easily become confused as to where sounds are coming from, even if it's from a stereo, TV, something outside, etc.. which can be really unsettling.. dissociation, derealization (flashbacks)

less intrusive ones: visuals/flashbacks from trips, like fish-tank vision or seeing heat-waves that aren't really there, CEVs (grids and star-patterns).. i can make patterns swirl when focusing a certain way

i don't think i have HPPD tho as this isn't crippling me in any way.. except being extra-sensitive to certain things, like flashing lights and sirens
 
The symptoms do cause distress in my life sometimes.

I feel quite detatched at times, and I have panic attacks every once and a while. The thing that bothers me the most is the recurring fractals, they really bother me because I see them everywhere like in my hair, and it makes everything loook really weird. Also, the fact that the times when they are usually right after I think about the nature of the universe. Like I was watching this video and then i started seeing them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jITDforWPOY

Last time they recurred was when I was reading a lot about Buddhism and started to feel like it REALLY made sense. When I was riding in the car I looked out the window and could see all the fractals in the trees and I literally started to cry because I felt so much love for everything.

I like to feel this way, and I like to think about deep things, but if its going to make me see fractals...I don't know I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it. Its not like it really interferes with my life or anything.
 
Alright, lets try a little tough-love suggestive manipulation therapy... pretend I am stone cold serious:

Buncha damn worryworts. ;) So the acid made you MORE AWARE of things your brain is doing. Visual system has LOTS of rather technical processing steps you usually are made unaware of. Acid CAN tend to make your a little more aware of them. But not to any debilitating degree. So big deal. So now you know more about yourself than 99.99% of people on the planet. You have a superpower. Be thankful. If it bothers you... train yourself to start becoming ignorant again... the more you STOP OBSESSING and quit SELF INDULGENT OVERWORRYING, and practice not noticing that you are noticing it, then the less and less you will notice it. Capiche? Its ALOT more under your own control than you realize.

Yea yea I know I know I'm being mean to all the frightened little babies who do some acid then worry forever that "Oh no I broke my brain!" Well boo fucking hoo. Toughen up a little why dontcha? =D​

I'm an expert at passive aggression.
 
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Acid may make you more aware of things but compounds like mephedone... hardly.
What seems to be much more likely is that by a massive amount of drugs that alter your neurological mechanisms some changes remain, and they are often random.

They may not always appear to be random because the human mind is built to make sense of anything it perceives, even if the data is fucked up or scrambled. If that makes you think of other layers of reality not seen by ordinary people that is not a superpower but a step into the direction of magical or delusional thinking. Sorry.
 
I've never been prone to magical thinking myself. With flashbacks i mostly experience dissociation and derealization
 
Solipsis said:
Acid may make you more aware of things but compounds like mephedone... hardly.
What seems to be much more likely is that by a massive amount of drugs that alter your neurological mechanisms some changes remain, and they are often random.

They may not always appear to be random because the human mind is built to make sense of anything it perceives, even if the data is fucked up or scrambled. If that makes you think of other layers of reality not seen by ordinary people that is not a superpower but a step into the direction of magical or delusional thinking. Sorry.
Click to expand...

The only symptom i got from mephedrone was the visual snow. And that is NOT the symptom that bothers me. I barely notice that actually.

I don't know WHAT to think about the symptoms, but its comforting that they aren't true hallucinations in the sense of the word, it is more like a noticing of a general pattern that I didnt see before. Actual hallucinations are based on no incoming sensory data.

But consider this:

Put a primitive monkey in front of a mirror. Now place a chimpanzee in front of another mirror. The primitive monkey sees another monkey, and is fascinated at how this "other" monkey moves when he moves, and at how the "other" monkey disappears completely whenever he looks behind the mirror. The chimpanzee on the other hand, sees an image of himself and is fascinated at seeing his lips, teeth, mouth, facial hair, etc., and suddenly understands why the female chimps are always after him, now that he can see just how incredibly handsome a chimp he truly is.

If the primitive monkey could speak, he would be saying that obviously the chimp is experiencing hallucinations due to the chimp being in a delusional state of mind. The crazy chimp is claiming to be seeing some crazy thing called the "self" in the mirror, while at the same time it is bloody obvious to everyone else that the chimp is truly just looking at another chimp, and that is all.

Since the human beings are more advanced than the chimpanzees, the humans can see things and understand things that the chimps can not. Therefore with this being the case, the chimps would be chatting about the fact that the humans were experiencing hallucinations due to the humans being in a delusional state of mind, which was why the humans were constantly talking about things that did not really exist, things that just weren't really there at all, and the proof of this was overwelming because ALL of the chimps certainly couldn't see what these crazy humans were claiming to be seeing.

Thus if 1% of the human population was a tad ahead of the rest, the rest of the population would classify these specific people as delusional people since they can see things that the rest of the population clearly can not.
Click to expand...

I am not saying that HPPD lets you see other layers of reality, but it is a possibility, and we shouldn't be so quick to judge.
 
^ this, thanks. Though I might rather phrase it as:

Perhaps lingering effects of hallucinogens can include mind/brain alterations in functioning that 'open the gates of perception' on a more persistent timescale than the acute hallucinogenic effects, allowing ones perceptual mechanisms to operate in 'extended mode', perceiving aspects of reality as detected by the senses or aspects of the mind/brain's internal processing, or both, that are BEYOND those that are 'normally' perceivable. And perhaps one side effect of these 'extensions' are what are normally considered symptoms of HPPD.​

"Other layers of reality" well um I don't know about that, sounds a little hyperbolic perhaps. Above paragraph is maybe a more "scientific" framing of the idea, removing the "DYS" functional interpretation, and deeming it simply "DIFFERENT" functioning absent the negative judgement implicit in the idea of HPPD as a DISorder or disease state.
 
I've had visual snow at night for many years. It is a kind of mist that hovers about an inch above the surface of walls. I've gotten used to it though to where it doesn't bother me and I don't really remember not having it. I think it came from moderate ketamine usage in 2002/2003.

I've experienced time skip while on pot and dxm, but never while sober.

When I did lots of mephedrone I was seeing faces and animal shapes in anything abstract. This has gone away over time.

As for the 3d thing, I have experienced this quite often, especially on 3d video games. Where things seem to be in actual 3d similar to watching something on a 3d tv, but when the image is actually in 2d. But sometimes things start looking real on-screen and it is a bit strange. I would say this is positive and an interesting effect. It feels like some kind of bleed-through from one reality to this reality, to where I'm psychically connecting with it rather than it being some visual effect. A friend of mine who has not done drugs has experienced this effect as well, so I am not inclined to describe it as HPPD.
 
I don't think the "mystical" explanations for this people are throwing around are of much help. When brainstorming out an explanation, it's probably better to start with things that we do know and do understand rather than things we don't.

1) Visual snow: not really much to say about that.
2) Time skip: palinopsia, maybe...? I'm not sure if that fits, though.
3) Increased depth perception: I get this a lot when I'm stoned. If it's a still image, a person will look fully 3D after looking at it for a few seconds; if it's animated, then a person may, if there isn't much contrast in the scene's lighting, look like a moving cardboard cut-out but still appear to be in the distance, otherwise, it may look fully three dimensional. The brain putting more emphasis on monocular depth cues when determining what depth there is to perceive?
4) Faces: no idea. If there's a common factor that's been there during all those "certain times" that you could tell us, that may lead to an explanation.

As for myself, I was born with very noticeable visual snow, palinopsia, and the "prisoner's cinema" (meaning, continuous and permanent) version of phosphenes, among some other more minor things, but those first three anomalies synergize with each other to a huge extent more than anything else. For example, when I'm blazed, which also potentiates all those things, I have to look at a wall for several seconds before I can acknowledge that it's a wall and not a big abyss of hazy fractals. I could describe these to you more if you think it has any relevance to your case.
 
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I have cataracts in my left eye. Whenever I'm in bright light I see around 8 floating transparent flat "bubbles" in the air about two feet in front of me. They're very small, around the size of a microdot. My brain generally filters this out but it can become more apparent when I have done drugs recently. I've also had laser vision correction and always have slight tracers when it is dark outside, which of course magnifies with drug use.

If HPPD bothers you that much just lay off the drugs and eventually it should calm down. More than likely it isn't the drugs per se but the fact that you're paying more attention to stuff that you probably used to filter out. It's possible that you were just compartmentalizing certain natural visual anomalies but are now are noticing them more.

I'd say that visual anomalies happen quite often, just most people brush them off, but when you trip a lot then it seems like your brain pays more attention to the glitches rather than filtering them out. I think the key with HPPD symptoms is to not let yourself feel anxious about them, just try to go about your day.

There is a lot we don't know about vision. Watch this video and you'll see that with no drugs whatsoever your brain can still misinterpret visual signals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4LAVdTr6_k

As for time skip stuff, I don't have those visual problems but I have noticed a lot of things change from one day to the next. I wrote a lot about it on this thread:

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=544507
 
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