• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

New decade resolutions

Texy - thanks, that's the sort of advice I need. I probably am being hard on myself but it doesn't feel unjustified because I feel I should know better now. I just think I could be trying so my h harder than I am.

Evad - sorry, you're right, it was a bit of a winge. I'm just so fed up with everything right now that's the tone I'm making
 
John Lewis said:
The thing is, I'm starting to realise that the worrying is actually me just hating myself for being this reckless and taking drugs I don't even want to take.

I went into nye with intentions of not touching meph and even taking it easy on the booze. I also have paranoia over getting dehydrated and overheating. And now I look back at what happened, and basically I spent 2 nights running drinking insane amounts, taking lots of meph (and not even measuring how much, just helping myself from a 5g bag whenever I felt like it) and on the second night ended up getting too hot in a club without drinking enough water.

I know why I do it really, it's because I have this shitty anxiety problem and I just want release from it. I just hate myself for going against my principles at the drop of a hat. I feel like 2 different people.

My life is starting to feel like a joke. I've spent the last god knows how many years panicking that my anxiety is the result of damage from MDMA, and now I've gone and abused meph. And the fact I didn't check the interaction with erythromycin makes me a complete iditot too since I could have easily used this board but didn't. Seriously I'm starting to really wonder what the hell is wrong with me and why I behave this way :(
Click to expand...
I could understand that you want to get high, but serieusly just throw the meph out and order methylone/MDAI instead, those are fairly benign drugs and would be a good alternative for mephedrone. Also preload with antioxidants and stuff and you can have a fun experience without any bad braindamage or something.

I dont think there is anything wrong with taking drugs, and i usually feel happy if i've had a great night and had lots of fun, its the overthinking that causes more trouble imo.
 
MeDieViL said:
I could understand that you want to get high, but serieusly just throw the meph out and order methylone/MDAI instead, those are fairly benign drugs and would be a good alternative for mephedrone. Also preload with antioxidants and stuff and you can have a fun experience without any bad braindamage or something.

I dont think there is anything wrong with taking drugs, and i usually feel happy if i've had a great night and had lots of fun, its the overthinking that causes more trouble imo.
Click to expand...
I'm not sure why I didn't try methylone actually before meph. To be honest I dunno why I did meph at all being the paranoid type I am. I guess I tried to convince myself it was ok.

I have been taking loads of vitamin supplements most of the time whilst taking meph, but I still think I'm in a different situation to most in terms of damage because I was on erythromycin, which means your body is subjected to loads more of the nasty metabolite
 
John Lewis said:
I'm not sure why I didn't try methylone actually before meph. To be honest I dunno why I did meph at all being the paranoid type I am. I guess I tried to convince myself it was ok.

I have been taking loads of vitamin supplements most of the time whilst taking meph, but I still think I'm in a different situation to most in terms of damage because I was on erythromycin, which means your body is subjected to loads more of the nasty metabolite
Click to expand...

If youve been taking vitamines your definatly fine, your not in a differend situation then most, those who have been taking meph days on end would have had more of it build up.

You didnt turn purple so the metabolite didnt have any chance to do anything bad!
 
John Lewis said:
The thing is, I'm starting to realise that the worrying is actually me just hating myself for being this reckless and taking drugs I don't even want to take.

I went into nye with intentions of not touching meph and even taking it easy on the booze. I also have paranoia over getting dehydrated and overheating. And now I look back at what happened, and basically I spent 2 nights running drinking insane amounts, taking lots of meph (and not even measuring how much, just helping myself from a 5g bag whenever I felt like it) and on the second night ended up getting too hot in a club without drinking enough water.

I know why I do it really, it's because I have this shitty anxiety problem and I just want release from it. I just hate myself for going against my principles at the drop of a hat. I feel like 2 different people.

My life is starting to feel like a joke. I've spent the last god knows how many years panicking that my anxiety is the result of damage from MDMA, and now I've gone and abused meph. And the fact I didn't check the interaction with erythromycin makes me a complete iditot too since I could have easily used this board but didn't. Seriously I'm starting to really wonder what the hell is wrong with me and why I behave this way :(
Click to expand...

Sorry man but will you please just go and see a doctor or something? Judging by how wound up you get yourself I'd say stims or any drugs really are a bad idea with anxiety like that!

I've hammered MDMA to death, and so far that I know its caused me no problems other than 1 chipped tooth and the odd bad comedown. To be worrying that your anxiety is the result of damage from MDMA? Come on mate, sorry but from reading your posts I'd say you have some serious anxiety issues without any drugs that need dealt with. Everything is a great worry, so drugs aren't going to help!

I don't mean to sound harsh, but seriously stay away from drugs if you have problems like that because they will only make it worse for you!!!
 
captain codshit said:
Sorry man but will you please just go and see a doctor or something? Judging by how wound up you get yourself I'd say stims or any drugs really are a bad idea with anxiety like that!

I've hammered MDMA to death, and so far that I know its caused me no problems other than 1 chipped tooth and the odd bad comedown. To be worrying that your anxiety is the result of damage from MDMA? Come on mate, sorry but from reading your posts I'd say you have some serious anxiety issues without any drugs that need dealt with. Everything is a great worry, so drugs aren't going to help!

I don't mean to sound harsh, but seriously stay away from drugs if you have problems like that because they will only make it worse for you!!!
Click to expand...


I actually have anxiety problems myself but abused the hell out of MDMA and in the end my anxiety actually got better! (did have comedowns and stuff, but in the long run everything was allright).

Just saying that most likely mdma didnt contribute to the anxiety problem.
 
To build a bike up and get into cycling. (Not all that lycra shit, just knocking about and stuff). Love to get my own gaf and start growing my own dope but can't see that happening any time soon as I only work part time. Maybe cut down on the booze (don't drink half as much as I used to so thats a start). Maybe travel?
 
^ Thats what I mean, hes blaming drug use for the anxiety, which I disagree with.

I've spent the last god knows how many years panicking that my anxiety is the result of damage from MDMA
Click to expand...

You seem very like your anxious to begin with and over thinking and talking yourself into thinking theres something wrong with you. The posts after you tried mephedrone and read the thread shows similar. Its not the drugs IMO, they won't help obviously, but its def programmed in to begin with as far as I can see.
 
captain codshit said:
^ Thats what I mean, hes blaming drug use for the anxiety, which I disagree with.



You seem very like your anxious to begin with and over thinking and talking yourself into thinking theres something wrong with you. The posts after you tried mephedrone and read the thread shows similar. Its not the drugs IMO, they won't help obviously, but its def programmed in to begin with as far as I can see.
Click to expand...

Yeah i agree.
 
im gonna go cold turkey off h, get a job stop shagging around n settle down wit a gir,hopefully have a child.
 
captain codshit said:
Sorry man but will you please just go and see a doctor or something? Judging by how wound up you get yourself I'd say stims or any drugs really are a bad idea with anxiety like that!

I've hammered MDMA to death, and so far that I know its caused me no problems other than 1 chipped tooth and the odd bad comedown. To be worrying that your anxiety is the result of damage from MDMA? Come on mate, sorry but from reading your posts I'd say you have some serious anxiety issues without any drugs that need dealt with. Everything is a great worry, so drugs aren't going to help!

I don't mean to sound harsh, but seriously stay away from drugs if you have problems like that because they will only make it worse for you!!!
Click to expand...
It's interesting to see how everyone here thinks I'm as paranoid as my mates think I am. I guess my views must be distorted then :\

I dunno why I'm so anxious but I'll try and stop worrying over this, that's gotta be a good start I guess...
 
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
and a good long break from drugs would be advised, from what youve wriiten here your not in the right frame of mind to be taking anything, look after yourself
 
Save some money for the coming greatest depression. Don't go out to clubs because it's shit and waste of money.stop wasting all my money on drugs and used the saved money to buy something of value such as gold or a ps3 lol.stop getting pissed and doing stupid shit which makes me paranoid for the next month. Stop being paranoid and learn that life can be enjoyed without drugs.
 
John Lewis said:
It's interesting to see how everyone here thinks I'm as paranoid as my mates think I am. I guess my views must be distorted then :\

I dunno why I'm so anxious but I'll try and stop worrying over this, that's gotta be a good start I guess...
Click to expand...

My advice is to go see a pdoc or something, this anxiety can have a pretty bad effect on the rest of your life if it goes untreated. Better to do something about it, as once you stop worrying about a certain thing, your gonna start wondering about something else.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top