God, the river was hell..well it was cool for like the first 2 hours the shower really woke me up for a while, but after that first 2 hours is was pure hell..i didnt know we were gonna be gone there as long as we were so i only brought 2 water bottles thinking i'd be koo..hell no i wasn't, i was getting cotton mouth an then id take a drink of water and i swear 1 minute later the cotton mouth would come back, we walked down the river for a bit and on the walk i had like 2 drinks of water left, after those 2 drinks were gone like 10 minutes later i got the most horrible stomach pains of my life..i guess thats what i get for not eating for almost 3 days..I mean dont get me wrong..I've tryed forcing myself to eat..nothing at all looks appealing, and what i did start to eat the one and only time in this whole ordeal i got 3 bites in and then gagged that last bite back up..But yeah my stomach pains lasted alll day..I should have just bailed..i was dead tired before i got in the shower earlier, i really should have just fuck them and fallen asleep, but now i cant

i layed here with my eyes closed for like 30 minutes i just physically cant fall asleep..And the thing is im not even really high anymore..the only slight euphoria i feel is in my head and My vision is kind of blurred, but that might be cause of being awake so long..ever since the last load i took When i started to see ''crystals and white spots'' LOL i havent smoked any more and the hallucinations have stopped, except for seeing Light tracers, which i can do anytime i want anyways i just have to sit in a dark room..think i'd start hallucinating if i did a bowl considering i havent smoked in over 13 hours. or is it still the fact that ive been awake for so long?
God, im typing novels again like im tweaked, but honestly i dont feel tweaked,, at this point i dont know what to feel anymore.
An trust me, i do not plan subsituting addictions, i plan on using Until i can get past the Hardest part of the Opiate w/ds then i will probably not do shit ..im not gonna say forever, but for awhile..its a hassle just trying to find this shit..Who wants to have to give some dude 4 bucks gas money and smoke a fat ass Bowl with him just to go pick it up from like 45 minutes away every time i want some, or have to deal with another tweaker as the dealer to and he dissapears for like 3 days at a time, or sleep for like 24 hours at a time..its whatever though