kaoskid
Bluelighter
for most of my life i have had severe difficulty with the action of writing (both print and cursive), finding it to be very painful and frustrating. i recently came across an old physical performance report which stated that my problems with writing were so severe that the tester was of the opinion that i had neurological impairment in the area of fine motor coordination, i am inclined to believe it.
i have had an extremely positive reaction to amphetamine-type stimulants to treat my depression which, according to one of the mods, suggests that i have noradrenergic deficiencies. i am also inclined to believe that as well because for seven years (literally seven frigging years) i was bullied every day to the point of what could be deemed as a "melt-down" (which involved me screaming at the top of my lungs in an effort to get the other kids to stop teasing me and then collapsing in a heap and crying, this started at the age of five and continued until the age of twelve, when my parents placed me in an alternative school), causing huge adrenergic and noradrenergic surges.
now, i am still quite young but my hands shake and twitch much of the time and whenever i try to play a particularly driving pedal rhythm on my saz (or Ba?lama, a turkish, long-necked mandolin relative) my hand begins to spasm, falter or seize-up, this cannot be normal for someone between the ages of innocent kid and college kid. this leads me to the question:
could i have adrenergic neuronal and axonal damage due to frequent release of epinephrine and norepinephrine resulting from repetitious exposure to stress and stressful environments?
any suggestions, opinions, questions or comments will be much appreciated,
thank you
note: the question mark in ba?lama should be a g breve (boat or half circle) above it, it is a letter from the turkish, extended-latin alphabet called yumushak ge. it is a nearly ( 98% ) silent g which extends the preceding vowel.
i have had an extremely positive reaction to amphetamine-type stimulants to treat my depression which, according to one of the mods, suggests that i have noradrenergic deficiencies. i am also inclined to believe that as well because for seven years (literally seven frigging years) i was bullied every day to the point of what could be deemed as a "melt-down" (which involved me screaming at the top of my lungs in an effort to get the other kids to stop teasing me and then collapsing in a heap and crying, this started at the age of five and continued until the age of twelve, when my parents placed me in an alternative school), causing huge adrenergic and noradrenergic surges.
now, i am still quite young but my hands shake and twitch much of the time and whenever i try to play a particularly driving pedal rhythm on my saz (or Ba?lama, a turkish, long-necked mandolin relative) my hand begins to spasm, falter or seize-up, this cannot be normal for someone between the ages of innocent kid and college kid. this leads me to the question:
could i have adrenergic neuronal and axonal damage due to frequent release of epinephrine and norepinephrine resulting from repetitious exposure to stress and stressful environments?
any suggestions, opinions, questions or comments will be much appreciated,
thank you
note: the question mark in ba?lama should be a g breve (boat or half circle) above it, it is a letter from the turkish, extended-latin alphabet called yumushak ge. it is a nearly ( 98% ) silent g which extends the preceding vowel.
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