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Miskatonic

Miskatonic

Greenlighter
Joined
May 1, 2011
Messages
26
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Hey.

I've been a user/abuser since I was fourteen. I'm 48 now. Done about everything except junk and X. Pot was a favorite back in the day. I don't like the stronger stuff around now.

Last few years it's just been booze, normally 10-12 oz of whiskey every evening.

Today I will make a serious effort to get off it. I've done it before, so I have an idea what to expect. I've been stockpiling Ativan to ease the transition. I'm willing to switch to a taper if I have to, but I have not had success with that in the past.

I'm also on vacation for a while, so if I do freak out, I won't lose my job or anything.

Wish me luck.
 
welcome miskatonic,

Thats a fine step your taking to rid yourself of alcohol dpendancy.. I wish you all thd best both in detox and in the future.. Are you undergoing any counselling at all?

Have a look around the site,you'll find alot that will interest you.the dark side could be of interest to you..

Good luck,chin up...let us know how u go .BL always here.
 
Thanks, gavatron.

I did counseling 20 years ago when the poop hit the fan the first time, so I know what most of my buttons are. Thing is, I have a mood disorder, and the alcohol makes it worse. So I'm hoping that in a few weeks, I may start to feel better. (Yes, I know about the GABA problems, but I can dream right?)

Anyway, thanks for reminding me it's out there. You can imagine that a bipolar drunk has a lot of crap going on in his life.

EDIT. Yeah, I did find the alcohol thread on the darkside. That's actually how I found this site.
 
no worries miskatonic,

Its good that you know about the skills that it takes to overcome alcoholism,as well as the hurdles your going to have to overcome on your journey.

Regarding your bipolar,are you taking and meds for it?.like you said, the bi-polar would be intetestng on the drink.i have a close friend with the same scenario.everytime i mingle with him i get either in a fight,get locked up or end up in hospital..its very predictabe..

The other important thing would be support.whether its a family member,friend ,co worker.or counsellor.. And always remeber that BL is always her..there alot of knowledge and experience amongst the members.ill keep an eye out for you too..

Try keep busy maybe with excercize,play sport,just try keep your mind of the piss..it will be hard.but it soundls like youve had enough..

Take care mate.
 
I take a lot of meds for the disorder, which is another reason I shouldn't be drinking in the first place. Ativan, trazodone, trileptal, and lamictal. Interestingly, it's all stuff used to treat withdrawal syndrome. Either it'll help me, or I'm so accustomed to it, it won't make a difference.

I used to take effexor. Now there's an interesting withdrawal experience!

Exercise. Yes. Got a new spin bike, plus a bunch of yardwork.

Thanks again.
 
hopefully your body hasnt got such a tolerance to the meds used for the withdrawal symptoms tnat they dont play there part when needed.. Alot of meds can cover a range of symptoms other than what they are designed for,especially in combination with others..

The effexor is used as an anti depressant.my ex fiance( i just broke engagement off this week) was on 225mgs a day,but also took epilum,which is used for epilepsy...but when mixed with effexor it works to stabilise the release of effexor

she would get tingles in her head if she just missed it b a few hrs..but it was still better than paxil(paroxetine).

So how did you go on your first night.. Dont forget it took years for dependancy to get go where it is.so u might need some patience.

When im behaving myself and stay away from my poison (s) i find i have so much spare time..your yard will look like a resort within a week, are you on holidays already?
Keep in touch mate.ill b looking out for your reply

all the best,gav
 
hopefully your body hasnt got such a tolerance to the meds used for the withdrawal symptoms tnat they dont play there part when needed.. Alot of meds can cover a range of symptoms other than what they are designed for,especially in combination with others..

The effexor is used as an anti depressant.my ex fiance( i just broke engagement off this week) was on 225mgs a day,but also took epilum,which is used for epilepsy...but when mixed with effexor it works to stabilise the release of effexor

she would get tingles in her head if she just missed it b a few hrs..but it was still better than paxil(paroxetine).

So how did you go on your first night.. Dont forget it took years for dependancy to get go where it is.so u might need some patience.

When im behaving myself and stay away from my poison (s) i find i have so much spare time..your yard will look like a resort within a week, are you on holidays already?
Keep in touch mate.ill b looking out for your reply

all the best,gav
 
Thanks, Gav. I'm posting on Darkside: Alcoholism Thread, but no real conversation. So I appreciate your keeping in touch here.

The first night was better than expected. In the end, all I took was an extra 2 mg. Ativan. I was prepared for twice or three times that. And I'm actually a little groggy from it! Who figured? It was a restless night, but I've had worse just after a lousy day at work.

As in 2:00am: PANG! I'm awake, like a panic attack with some of the edge blunted, and the next 3 hours of anxiety-induced mental bullshit.

That's what DIDN'T happen last night. (And part of what getting sober is supposed to fix.) As I said, very lucky, or poised for a fall tonight.

Again, thanks.
 
Hey miskatonic,

Sounds like you went well the first night. Good shit.is activan lorazapam or diazepam? the diazepam should fully clear after 8 hrs. I eat those to help me sleepas well.

Hopefully not having work will give you an upperhand aswell . Is the anxietyfrom stressing out at work ora symptom of the bi-polar?? The activan will help that too,but if it gat bad then you may need xanax.

I had a read on the dark side forum your on..interesting
Things are looking up mate..keep posting,keep busy..give the backyard a once over.check you personal messages mate.

All the best
 
Ativan is Lorazepam.

I've been anxious all my life. Always a misfit, smart in school, not quite a sociopath, but poor socializing skills.

Never had a name for it till I started having panic attacks and finally asked for help. I was about 28. At the time, my doc called it depression with generalized anxiety disorder. But I knew something was punky. None of the regular meds did a thing for me except the tranks. Some, like Prozac, even made me feel worse. Effexor helped a little, but still not quite right. Old-fashioned Trazodone helps a bit, but it's kind of an unusual chemical.

Then I started taking the anticonvulsants. Much better, leading to a semi-diagnosis (under the new guidelines) of bi-polar, which also fits a lot of my feelings and behavior that never made sense before.

And then I stupidly started drinking again. So now I don't know what causes what, exactly. Maybe 1-2 months into sobriety, I'll take stock of the mix and see what's what. Cutting something out might help, or maybe adding an anti-psychotic. I don't know. No point trying anything till I'm off booze for a while.
 
Good luck! Using bluelight helped me a great deal...just knowing that there are tons of other people out there struggling with the same shit!
 
I get some bad bouts of depression,usually from big doses of mdma..but i never had problems with it until a few heavy courses of anabolics..made me terrible agressive and then depressed.. Cost me my job,a few people some front teeth and alot o wasted nights in the lock up..

One of the few regrets in life.....

Check your messages or notifications MISKATONIC
 
@gav

I did check my messages, and thanks again for your support and for sharing.

Also thanks to the others who have chimed in.

My second night started off more restless than previously. Sleeplessness alternating with weird, cycling almost-dreams. Also, a recurring physical ailment decided to say hello. Relaxation usually settles it down, but of course there was none of that. So another 2mg of Ativan.

I think I have enough Ativan to do a taper off that when I get through the booze withdrawal. At least I don't crave it. What I crave is sleep and my body-brain doesn't care how it gets there -- this pill, that pill, or just plain exhaustion.

Unlike the alcohol craving. Thinking about summer yesterday immediately led to thoughts of margaritas on the deck . . . you know how it goes. The monkey brain knows exactly what causes an alcohol buzz, so it knows exactly what it needs to get it.

I did some yardwork yesterday. If it doesn't rain, more to day.

At least I'm still sober. I really like having BL here so I'm not just journaling to myself. That particular aspect of CB therapy never really worked for me. I'm pretty sure THIS is helping.
 
good stuff mate,your going well,and with the break from work you can afford to toss and turn a bit at night. BL's always here dont forget mate..keep posting to get the 50 so you can pm..ill send you my msn tho i seem to be on different time frames except when im mis behaving..

I used tamazepan when i kicked the weed and it wasnt too bad to taper off..Try to keep the exercise for late arvo/night whih would be the time youd be sinking a few.. Plus it will wear you out,tho it can do the opposite too. How bigs the garden..? Is it a tidy up of the jungle or you planting new..

Keep busy mate..look forward to sobriety..and i look forward to having a chat..Take care , and dont look back.. Gav
 
Welcome aboard. you are definitely in the right place. Like Captain.Heroin said The Dark Side sounds like a good place for you to check out. you will see that you are NOT alone.
Have you thought about having your Dr detox you w/ Librium. i was a wicked alcoholic for years and that shit saved my life. Alcohol WDs are EVIL! I feel for you but mad props to you. It takes guts to get the process going...and it IS a process.

I take lots of meds for lots of things too. Don't get too down. There are plenty of fun and cool forums to check out when you are feeling down.
if you have any questions reply here or PM a Mod-we will get you in all the right directions.

STAY STRONG-BUT BE SAFE-AND KEEP BUILDING A SUPPORT TEAM!

peace and love.............................skillz
 
Librium, Ativan. It all comes down to half-lives, right? So far the Ativan's working.

If anyone's still following this, I think maybe we should take the conversation here. Anyone else who could use it will probably not be searching new member into's.
 
Miskatonic said:
Librium, Ativan. It all comes down to half-lives, right? So far the Ativan's working.

If anyone's still following this, I think maybe we should take the conversation here. Anyone else who could use it will probably not be searching new member into's.
Click to expand...

Benzodiazepines have a lot of different differences, half lives are important in some respect, but there's more to it. Some are more potent, these are typically more addictive, and less easy to transfer away from in lieu of another less potent drug of the same class.

Most benzodiazepines tend to be better for anxiety relief (anxiolysis), or as a sleep aid (hypnotics). If you stick to the anxiolytic benzodiazepines, and don't use them in excess, things should be fine.

Daily use of them can become problematic, although as an aid in quitting alcohol, daily use of them can be a lot better than ethanol abuse.

The best thing in my opinion would be to stay on lorazepam and to taper off as you feel comfortable doing so. Keep enough of them on hand so you can revert back to them instead of relapsing on ethanol, as ethanol is much harder on your body and brain. :)
 
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