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Nerves

citizen cained

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Ok so every time I start to do something sexual with someone new I get super nervous and even start shaking, this makes getting a hard on pretty hard (no pun intended lol).

I have just got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship (mutual break up) and I had a few mates over, one is a girl who I am not attracted to but she is one of my close friends, anyway, the drinks were flowing and eventually she asked me if I wanted a bj, I said no at first thinking that it was a joke (and also because I am quite timid) but she asked again when it was just me and her, I eventually agreed as I love BJ's and this girl swallows (a big turn on for me) so she started going down on me and all was good for a bit, then I started shaking and couldn't relax and eventually lost my hard on and she asked if there was anything wrong, I told her straight as she is a close friend that I get nervous with sexual encounters with new people, she understood but was a bit disappointed that I didn't finish (probably because she thought it was her, I assured her it was not)

understandably, this is bloody annoying for me lol, does this happen to other people and if so, any advice?
 
Do you have any idea what causes the anxiety? A lack of bodily confidence? Fear of what the other might think?
 
Do you have any idea what causes the anxiety? A lack of bodily confidence? Fear of what the other might think?

I think it is the fear of performing or not as the case may be, so like you said, what others might think of my sexual performance, i dont have issues with body confidence etc, I am happy with my looks, I'm also happy with my "package" lol

I suppose it didn't help that my other mates knew exactly what we were up to and there was no lock on the door..

btw I am 24 and have had full on sex with 2 people, just in case this helps
 
Just sounds like performance anxiety although you actually shaking is kind of weird no offense. But you're still young and haven't had much practice. I think it will eventually get better on it's own as you become more confident. My first time almost didn't happen because I couldn't relax and I had never been with someone like that obviously. It ended up turning out good but that's a different story. :D
 
I know you may of heard this before, op, but just "go with it". Forget about performing or pleasing, it should come naturally once you get into it. I hope that helps in some way
 
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