need your help, oh talented bluelighters

[EverythingsEventual]

I know none of you know me but I think that might help...

I need to write a poem for a very special friend of mine... I'll just write and see what I come up with, but I'd appreciate any input - feel free to tell me what to change etc

Thank you very muchly!

*

So we sit together most nights
You at one end and I at the other
Apart by miles but close in minds
Your company keeps me comfortable
Pet names and hugs and smiles
Seeing you today for the first time
As I am now being myself
Not the girl with the silences
Or the girl with the tears who
Held on to the hand of someone
That she no longer loved
You helped her over the grief
Of realising who she really was
Gently let her down like a feather
In the warm blast of air
Your soft ways comfort me
We both know how I feel for you
Even though we can see it is hard
Thank you boy for reconstructing my world
You have made me stronger inside
Laugh hard and play harder
You give me wisdom and love
But no grief except for that
Which needs purged from my soul
They say every cloud has a silver lining
In this case I think you are mine



It's totally in the rough, I know, but I could do with some input, as it's usually him that helps me with my writing, and I want to try and surprise him with something

 

[StuffedTiger]

If I got this note I would feel like the luckiest boy in the whole world. I don't think you should let anyone else tell you to change it because I think it's important and beautiful that it's your own words.

 

[EverythingsEventual]

why thank you

 

[RareForm]

WOW.....i really don't think you need any help:D..this was a wonderfully written poem and i agree with what StuffedTiger said it's beautiful that it's in your own words..

 

[EverythingsEventual]

ahh you people are just too sweet :D