FreakinHUGEGuy
Greenlighter
Hello all, I'm a very new poster to Bluelight, having been registered for awhile and up until now only been reading/researching using the site, which is excellent by the way.
I have a problem about which I don't know what to do. I know the Bluelight policy is that we are not supposed to use the site to attempt to buy or sell any illegal products -- I am not trying to do either of those things, I just need some advice.
My dad died about 2 years ago, and it really fucked me up. I was extremely close with him, and his death has been the singular most negative event in my life, I still think about him every day and it kills me. Back when it first happened the pain was too intense for me to deal with so I turned to substances to escape the pain. I'd been smoking weed and using various other drugs for awhile but they suddenly weren't enough, so I tried dope. Now, 2 years later, the pain has diminished by about 2%. I use occasionally, about 3-4 times a week to get through the worst of my headfucked/train wreck days. I know it's a terrible thing to do, but psychiatrists and grief counselors have proven to be 100% ineffective so I use and it allows me to be semi-functional. My problem is that I can only get the stuff through a "friend" of mine who actually knows the pushers, he won't introduce me to them because I support his habit and he doesn't want me to be able to get anything without going through him. He is completely physically addicted, cannot be employed as a multiple felon with obvious tracks all over his body and is one of the most pathetic people I've ever met, I've given him at least $1,000, but probably more, worth of dope over the last 2 years because I feel sorry for him and my job allows me to and I can't score any other way. But I can't do it anymore, I need to save my money. I'm not asking for anyone to hook me up with a dealer, but if anyone has any advice on how I can find my own source I'd really appreciate it.
When I give him my money to score he often will take 50-75% the powder out of my bags and replace it with god knows what because he thinks I don't notice -- this has led to me banging some of the worst cut dope in existence and many health problems that go along with that. That's where the harm reduction comes in, I can't keep killing my veins with whatever the hell white powder he happens to have lying around his house at the time he's stealing from me.
If this is an inappropriate thread than I apologize to the moderators, please don't ban me. I just really need some advice on how to break free from the middleman who's killing me.
I also apologize in advance for this ridiculously and ludicrously long post, I tend to ramble on and on, thinking every detail of my story is important to the whole idea. If you've made it to the end than thanks, and if you have any advice than thanks even more.
-The Big Man
I have a problem about which I don't know what to do. I know the Bluelight policy is that we are not supposed to use the site to attempt to buy or sell any illegal products -- I am not trying to do either of those things, I just need some advice.
My dad died about 2 years ago, and it really fucked me up. I was extremely close with him, and his death has been the singular most negative event in my life, I still think about him every day and it kills me. Back when it first happened the pain was too intense for me to deal with so I turned to substances to escape the pain. I'd been smoking weed and using various other drugs for awhile but they suddenly weren't enough, so I tried dope. Now, 2 years later, the pain has diminished by about 2%. I use occasionally, about 3-4 times a week to get through the worst of my headfucked/train wreck days. I know it's a terrible thing to do, but psychiatrists and grief counselors have proven to be 100% ineffective so I use and it allows me to be semi-functional. My problem is that I can only get the stuff through a "friend" of mine who actually knows the pushers, he won't introduce me to them because I support his habit and he doesn't want me to be able to get anything without going through him. He is completely physically addicted, cannot be employed as a multiple felon with obvious tracks all over his body and is one of the most pathetic people I've ever met, I've given him at least $1,000, but probably more, worth of dope over the last 2 years because I feel sorry for him and my job allows me to and I can't score any other way. But I can't do it anymore, I need to save my money. I'm not asking for anyone to hook me up with a dealer, but if anyone has any advice on how I can find my own source I'd really appreciate it.
When I give him my money to score he often will take 50-75% the powder out of my bags and replace it with god knows what because he thinks I don't notice -- this has led to me banging some of the worst cut dope in existence and many health problems that go along with that. That's where the harm reduction comes in, I can't keep killing my veins with whatever the hell white powder he happens to have lying around his house at the time he's stealing from me.
If this is an inappropriate thread than I apologize to the moderators, please don't ban me. I just really need some advice on how to break free from the middleman who's killing me.
I also apologize in advance for this ridiculously and ludicrously long post, I tend to ramble on and on, thinking every detail of my story is important to the whole idea. If you've made it to the end than thanks, and if you have any advice than thanks even more.
-The Big Man