Over the last year or so, my girlfriend has really begun to let herself go. She was so amazing for the first 2 years, in many ways she was what I always wanted. However she has gained quite a bit of weight, spends all day complaining and breaking down over everyday stresses. She complains about losing the weight but always finds some way out of any real exercise. dismisses constant eating and drinking cause booze is around as something she has no control over without even trying to stop. I don't want to leave her but she brings me down when Im around her. She de-motivates me. It kills me to see what she has become, a lazy, unattractive and unlikable mate. I what her to change back to the way she was when we met. I don't know how to get it to happen.
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Need the real her back
- Thread starter lux666
- Start date
Cornishman
Bluelighter
You need to accept her for who she is, or find a new girlfriend.
qft
zephyr
Ex-Bluelighter
How old is she? Its only been a few years but, no one stays the same. I doubt you are exactly the same you were when you met either, but if her physical change is drastic, she could have an underlying problem with her health- mental and/ or physical. I suggest you see a general practitioner together first to rule out any contributing factors to this then focus on a plan to get fit, happy and healthy as a team. Damn, I watch too much Dr Oz.
LilbabiC
Bluelighter
You should do her a favor and leave her. You seem to only be concerned about the attributes she brought to the relationship for YOU. This isn't about you it is about HER and HER well being and health. If you can't love someone unconditionally and do anything to help that person recover their quality of life then get out of the relationship and stop complaining. Just my opinion though.
Well instead of insulting her (weight gain etc.) Try reverse psychology and say "hey babe you know what I've noticed I need to drop a few pound and I should hit the gym you should come too." make her seem like it would be fun a and involve her. But don't make it obvious, as far as the booze idk when she's not looking water her booze down lolz.
_mistresspoppy_
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2010
- Messages
- 169
Do you guys have an healthy relationship or Do you fight a lot? Frequent arguments can make her feel drained and weak, leaving her without much energy or drive to take care of herself. If you make her feel beautiful she may feel driven to improve for you. When she's stressed, don't get angry at her. Comfort her and help her relax. That's all I ever wanted my fiancé to do.. Shes asking for you to notice her, to do SOMETHING.
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spuninohio
Greenlighter
Is she depressed by any chance? Depression will do all those things to you. Do u know if she has low thyroid or anythimg? She sounds like she may have some sort of emotional problems for serious tho. Sit down and talk with her, really ask her whats going on. Maybe excersising with her, going running or jogging with her would motivate her to loose the weight more. Also...is she an alcoholic? She drink everyday?
Edvard Munch
Bluelighter
Your girlfriend sounds awful. Unfortunately, I agree with other first-responders that being a fat drunk if what she is. Really, I find these grounds to end the relationship if after a nice long talk she doesn't at least try to change her being a fat drunk. Does she still do oral? That's a deal breaker.
Permanent Jones
Bluelighter
Sounds like she's depressed to me. Drinking heavily, eating too much. Yep, your girl's depressed 
. I think you should try to help her out. Spend extra time with her. Do whatever you used to do to make her feel special. Try to remember what it was about her that made you fall in love with her in the first place. Hopefully she'll come around.
. I think you should try to help her out. Spend extra time with her. Do whatever you used to do to make her feel special. Try to remember what it was about her that made you fall in love with her in the first place. Hopefully she'll come around.
Licence to Pill
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 28, 2004
- Messages
- 129
It sounds to me like her current attitude is a result of feeling worthless and unattractive.
I guess if you don't want to sound like an asshole you shouldn't come right out and say she needs to lose weight (or else..). So maybe you could start going for walks or do other fitness oriented activities together. You can also start cooking healthier food and request that she does the same. Of course none of these things are going to change her appearance quickly, but it could start a new way of thinking for her and lead to more focused attempts.
I guess if you don't want to sound like an asshole you shouldn't come right out and say she needs to lose weight (or else..). So maybe you could start going for walks or do other fitness oriented activities together. You can also start cooking healthier food and request that she does the same. Of course none of these things are going to change her appearance quickly, but it could start a new way of thinking for her and lead to more focused attempts.
The Warden
Bluelighter
Have sex often 
sex burns a lot of calories or whatever those things are called. Plus it's more fun than the gym..
sex burns a lot of calories or whatever those things are called. Plus it's more fun than the gym..