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NEED MALE ADVICE on new relationship

H

h0tstuff1821

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 22, 2014
Messages
2
So I need advice from a male perspective. Less two months ago I started dating this guy. He is an awesome, funny, cute, smart person. The more we are getting to know each other the more I think he may be addicted to sex and masturbation. He also seems to be a jealous and insecure person. So i'm going to elaborate now on why I believe this is.
Not once have we not messed around/had sex for less than two hours. Not only that, once he has got off he is immediately ready again and again. The other night when I stayed over we went at it for 2 1/2 hours after he woke me up to do it. So right after all that I was officially ready for bed. He started groaping me again to go another round. I nicely said im tired and going to sleep now. He got mad, made a comment that that's never happened to him before. It annoyed me. I just don't think im a compatable sex partner. Im down for lengthy sex nights but not every single time.
So one for the jealousy issue. He is always asking me if guys flirt with me because I work in a high client bases industry. I said yes, some guys do flirt with me. He wants me to let him now when that happens. In the same night I had the sex issue written above he asked me if I would sleep with Channing Tatum if he approached me.. I said heck yes. He got made and said I would cheat on him if I had the chance with Channing Tatum. We argued about this for like 20 minutes it seemed. I told him its a damn celebrity who cares.
He is constantly looking for validation to make himself feel secure. I don't know if this is worth continuing or stopping now. Just sucks because he seems like a really cool person. The first guy in two years even. I just need advice to help me figure out if this is normal or am I just thinking to much into it.
Thanks.
Sorry for punctuation and spelling.
 
It definitely sounds like he's insecure but all humans are to some extent. It also sounds like your sex drive is much lower than his. I'm guessing he's either in his low 20's or on viagra/cialis. Trust me a lot of girls would love a man who can go 2 hours again and again. Sex addiction is normal.. humans love sex. Although some women have lower sex drives than others which can create friction in a relationship.
 
I'm a male but I'm not sure what you want to hear.

It certainly sounds like you two are very incompatible in those aspects. I don't see why you would want to talk about the cheating, no one who wants a monogamous relationship is going to be happy hearing you would cheat on them even if its in an extremely unlikely hypothetical scenario. Just don't talk about that sort of thing, won't get you anywhere. Maybe he was insecure to begin with and you are consciously or unconsciously fueling his feelings.
 
Sounds very much like you have a lower sex drive then him but that doesn't mean you can't make it work but I have to say he has so issues he needs to work on because everyone has a celebrity they wouldn't pass up on but it is a fantasy so there in no need for that reaction, If you don't mind me asking what is it you do for a living as some jobs can make men worry that you have offers that in there head might be better then them. I think you need to make it clear how you feel and offer to help/support him through them otherwise I would say you are just gonna end up breaking up down the track
 
Sounds like you both need to grow up and that the current relationship isn't going to last.
 
I'm female so maybe my opinion won't matter at all but I certainly wouldn't date a guy like that... he seems like he has his own issues that he needs to deal with. He needs to grow up and stop being so insecure/jealous.
 
Agreed with llama. He sounds crazy. Does he look at porn a lot? I dated a guy who ended up liking porn more than the real thing (different issue obviously) but nonetheless the sexual tension was just not worth his looks or anything else. I don't see anything wrong with him wanting you but every 2 hours?? That's insane!
 
so, i'm not male, however i do know a fair bit about the species. here's my man-in-womans-body-but-still-feminine perspective.
h0tstuff1821 said:
The more we are getting to know each other the more I think he may be addicted to sex and masturbation. He also seems to be a jealous and insecure person.
Not once have we not messed around/had sex for less than two hours. Not only that, once he has got off he is immediately ready again and again.
Click to expand...

this does not mean he is addicted to sex and masturbation. he clearly has a high sex drive, and can last a really long time. not a pervert or anything. some guys are just like this.

he asked me if I would sleep with Channing Tatum if he approached me.. I said heck yes. He got made and said I would cheat on him if I had the chance with Channing Tatum. We argued about this for like 20 minutes it seemed.
Click to expand...

that is the most childish thing i've ever heard. he sounds like he has some srs insecurity issues. red flag. if he's getting mad over things that haven't - and won't ever - happen. red flag. i've dated a guy like this for a pretty lengthy amount of time, and trust me, just gtfo now. things will only get worse, people don't change. they all seem awesome at the start, til they start reading all your text messages and demanding to know who this guy is that asked how you were!

some people just aren't meant to be. if you're having issues 2 months into the relationship... it's going to happen eventually.
 
Thanks, makes me feel better. We actually got into an argument this morning via text because he wanted to sext and I didn't. I was getting ready for work and didn't reply back to him until later just letting him know that. Funny that you ask about the porn watching. He does, I just don't know exactly how much. He made a comment today how sex is his drug and he should have been a porn star.
 
he sounds like a child, just because i want sex doesn't mean i should row with my partner when they dont.8)

high sex drive or low sex drive it tells you everything about his mentality that he argues when he cant get what he wants out of you. its called a lack of respect.

also i get bored of endless sex with one person. after a while you're just like "oh this keeps going on, i'm desensitized and its kind of repetitive" no matter how much i like them when i'm bored of them i don't want to be pushed into meeting their needs past a point.
 
Yes he obviously has a high sex drive and I'd say it is possible he had a sex addiction. I had a friend who was a sex addict. He always needed it and when he finished he would need it again. If his girlfriend denied him he would go to the other room to masturbate. As for your guys insecurities, it sounds severe. If he's willing to get that upset about a little flirting at work and sex with Channing Tatum that's already an issue. From experience, i know that insecurities usually don't get better with time. They push their partner away and in turn the insecurities get worse. If it were me, I would say goodbye because the longer you wait the harder it will be
 
You would choose to sleep with Channing Tatum if given the opportunity?!? How COULD you!? ;)

Yeah that definitely sounds like insecurities to me. The relationship could work but it will be really difficult at times. In my last relationship I was very insecure about stupid things. It took me awhile to realize, accept, and begin to work on bettering myself. During my insecurities I definitely put the relationship through a lot of strain and hurt my girlfriend in the process. I was able to overcome these but it took a little awhile and it wasn't easy. Once I was secure in myself, her, and the relationship things got 100% better and I was really lucky she stuck it out with me. The relationship lasted 6 years and although I'm not with her now I will always love her and we have a lot of respect for each other. I'm in a new relationship and I can see just how much healthier the beginning of this relationship is because the insecurity issues are not present. Of course I still have some insecurities, but now I am able to control my emotions and realize that these negative thoughts are just that, powerless thoughts. So if you want to stay with him get ready to deal with a lot of shit. He may realize his insecurities are damaging the relationship and himself and change, or he may not. Good luck.
 
Well he likes sex a lot, but that's pretty normal. If you don't like sex as much as he does your relationship will be problematic.
As for the jealousy and the constant quizzing, this is a warning sign.
He's very concerned about showing he's the alpha male.
Probably insecure.
You should seriously consider if you want this guy in your life.
 
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