I want help and support. I'm using again for the last 13 months. I'm doing about a brick of dope every three days. (50 bags of heroin) I was clean for 7 years befor I relapsed after breaking my arm. Now I'm at a point that I want to stop but I can't get through the first day of w/d. Please advise me where to place this thread.
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H&R Moderators: streaM Freak
Need help
- Thread starter Dumdun
- Start date
Black Rabbit of Inle
Bluelight Crew
Hi dumdum, you've definitely come to the right place for support.
That's a lot of H you're doing. Have you talked to a GP about what you're going through? You might be able to get on a subs and taper your dose down.
That's a lot of H you're doing. Have you talked to a GP about what you're going through? You might be able to get on a subs and taper your dose down.
Sepher
Bluelight Crew
Hiya Dumdun, welcome to Bluelight and TDS, glad you found us. 
Saw your other post about finding your way around the site. Other Drugs will be a great forum for you for taper schedules, withdrawal meds, things like that. TDS is here for you whenever you need some support, a bit of a vent, just some idle chat really, whatever. Lots of us have been or are going through what you're facing right now so you've come to a great place.
Where are you with it at the minute? You still at the planning to quit stage getting ready to jump off? I'm UK and our slang / deals are different but think a brick is five grams isn't it, fifty 0.1g stamp bags? It's a fair amount to jump off cold, gram'n'half a day or so. You got any meds in place to help with it yet? You seeing a doc for this at all?
Saw your other post about finding your way around the site. Other Drugs will be a great forum for you for taper schedules, withdrawal meds, things like that. TDS is here for you whenever you need some support, a bit of a vent, just some idle chat really, whatever. Lots of us have been or are going through what you're facing right now so you've come to a great place.
Where are you with it at the minute? You still at the planning to quit stage getting ready to jump off? I'm UK and our slang / deals are different but think a brick is five grams isn't it, fifty 0.1g stamp bags? It's a fair amount to jump off cold, gram'n'half a day or so. You got any meds in place to help with it yet? You seeing a doc for this at all?
I wouldn't make that jump off cold. Figuring H is cut fairly heavily, that is like jumping off 900mg a day of morphine injected cold. I would NOT do that without some help. That would be some serious miserable withdrawal. Can you get to a doctor to get some support with that? Cause honestly, I think you are going to need it.
I would advise doing it in the way that is most likely to succeed.. and that is probably the easiest.. I would taper down as quick as you can stand.. inquire about clonidine with a professional (really did miracles for me.. functioned (ha, lets just leave it at that) pretty much the whole time coming off a large habit with just a short taper and clonidine http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clonidine only). If you can develop a support network, that way you can reach out when it gets bad and you need a little hand.. lots of good people here at BL have been right where you are going and may know just what to say if you are starting to bend and don't want to break. I wish you the best.. Godspeed.
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
What kind of support do you have? Partner, family, friends, meetings? It will be important to get something in place so that you are not trying to do this all alone. You sound pretty desperate and I imagine that is a good thing--that is you recognizing how serious your situation is. Remember that you did this once before and try to think about what helped and what didn't; then surround yourself with as much support as you can--from Bluelight threads and socials to meetings, medical support and anyone in your life that can boost your self esteem. Discouragement and despair are the worst. WD's you can and will survive no matter how horrendous--it's the feeling inside that there is an end and that you can get there that is the tough part.
Seven years is fantastic and the relapse itself was precipitated by a broken arm rather than an emotional crisis. I think that is very positive. Glad you are posting.
Seven years is fantastic and the relapse itself was precipitated by a broken arm rather than an emotional crisis. I think that is very positive. Glad you are posting.
cj
Bluelight Crew
I was right where you are 6 moths ago. I got on methadone ate healthy as I could and its made a big difference. I am not saying its butterflies and rainbows all the time but I don't want to go shoot heroin and I never thought I would say that. I think you are making a great decision to get on sub. But don't just take the sub and expect everything to improve overnight. Counseling is good if you can afford it. The AA NA fellowship is always free and you don't have to work the steps to go and listen and even share if you want. Hey if that isn't your scene than just go do something fun. You got to find that reason to get outta bed in the morning.
cj
Bluelight Crew
All sounds about right for what you have been through. I think we often underestimate just how fucked up we are when we are strung out chasing clawing scratching scheming just for a get well shot. It will make anyone consider death as relief. Just give yourself a break for a few days once you get on them and stable. Spend a off day laying on the couch watching football.
I hope that I can. It's funny that I have done some stupid crazy illegal shit to get off "E". But I'm siting here without any food smokes and I won't go out to hustle or steel for something I know I'm going to need. I thought about it last night but I knew I would have used if I went out and tried. I hope I can get strength to do what I have to do to get through this. Been up all night thinking about how bad things are. Been on this site and made a few calls to prevention line and all I really want is that f ing bag of dope that's killing me. I have the sub but I have to wait to take it. And trust me I don't like subs
Just to let everyone know I'm on the way to sanity. I started my subs sat but went and used a few bags anyway it was a waste but I did sleep that night. So now I had to ware till withdrawal to come again and start over. So on mon I started again with 2 mg I had a little headache and blurred vision but I slept that night. I did two msg a day until today. Today I only used one mg and so far so good. I don't get much sleep at night but I do sleep a rough sleep and my energy is not too bad I'm able to walk around slowly. I hope that this continues this way. I'm eating and taking vitamins. Drinking water too. I'm not craving but I do think about how it would be to do a bag and sleep but that would be stupid because I would be throwing my time and money away like I did on sat. Well good luck to everyone.
closeau
Bluelighter
I'm glad you got some subs. They def work good for Withdrawl but remember that suboxone has an opiate in it too so you'll have to come off that at some point. I was on sub last year for 3 weeks. Shit was expensive and when I missed appt and didn't go back withdrawals from the bup were pretty bad but considering the amount of H you were doing, prob a good move. I agree with neversickanymore and clonidine is a really good med for Withdrawl. If you relapse again I would reccomend an inpatient detox. I've been to many and I know they suck but you'll be able to get you the care you need and suggest you to some rehab places. Rehab I was dreading but it saved me back then. Whatever path you take, never doubt you can do it man!! I and all of us believe in you. I'm coming to this thread a little late but I hope your well and if you ever want to vent, let me know and PM me and I'll listen to whatever you have to say. Good luck bud and be safe!!