Need Help With Emotionally Unstable Girl Friend,i'm Hopeless?

[dopemaster]

Dude you grew apart and she has problems

First year at uni is hard but some of the stuff you said is definitely signs of untreated mental illness.

Move on. You ain't married, I don't even want an explanation after two months other than, can I get my stuff back yo, you can keep what I gave you, do you still wanna fuck casually

I wouldn't even fuck her again, you are drifting apart and some of her stuff isnt normal

Also drama queen which is a serious red flag, no one marries the first person they date, they learn from it usuallly

 

[axldamon]

Dude you grew apart and she has problems

First year at uni is hard but some of the stuff you said is definitely signs of untreated mental illness.

Move on. You ain't married, I don't even want an explanation after two months other than, can I get my stuff back yo, you can keep what I gave you, do you still wanna fuck casually

I wouldn't even fuck her again, you are drifting apart and some of her stuff isnt normal

Also drama queen which is a serious red flag, no one marries the first person they date, they learn from it usuallly

Yeah man i must admit i'm acting like a real wuss it's the truth.

But man at first she was the smartest girl that i ever head a chance to talk to,really caring,really emotional she even cried every time she hugged me.

I just don't really get it tbh she is all lovey dovey with other people responding positively to them,and when it comes to me she ignores me 100%.

Pm's me out of the blue with hey whats up,then again keeps the convo 1-2 texts when i ask her out her answer is''It's not that i don't wanna go out,it's just i can't.

Then i ask her how was your day and she leaves the message on Seen and it's the 10th day no response.
Plus when i asked her where were you for the past a month and a half,she thinks she is fooling a kid telling me i been busy with University not been much on social medias like facebook,and she is online commenting 24/7 to people,posting pics etc etc,what is she really trying to do i have no idea.

How can a personality change from a caring girl to this bitchy cold selfish person and every time i ask for the reason she gives me none i must have done something terrible to deserve this idk what to really do,searching for plain answers getting ignored,she used to be positive laughed at my jokes now she hates everything i do,it's like i'm talking to this complete different person.

 

[axldamon]

Sounds like she has a personality disorder, perhaps borderline personality disorder. It is a horrible rollercoaster trying to keep up with the love you one minute, ignore you the next. They want love but feel trapped and smothered when they get it. It is the result of a love-hate relationship unstable mothers have with their infants , this is the only way she forms attachments. They cannot change how they are even after years of therapy.They can be suicidal and very self-destructive. This is not good relationship material. Sad as it may be ....run away now

Your 100% right i noticed tho's symptoms early on,when she used to be really sexual for a minute the next she would tell me i'm not a bitch i don't want you to think i'm i always told her i accept you the way you are,then she used to tell me good things don't really last,your going to leave me ditch me,your going to play with my emotions out of the blue,if you break my heart i'll fuck you up,when she got mad she really used to be aggressive,turned on off on a single word so fast,overthinking everything every second,this is what happens when they trap her on a home prison brainwashing her that all the guys are the same they will use her and ditch her.

I proved everything i said but i could have never believed that she would start to ignore me after all the emotional support i gave her,without giving me a reason and telling me i'm overthinking way to much,she translated her insecurities to me,and tried to make me look stupid how cruel can a person be,and after i tried to search for answers all i got was''I don't know''

 

[dopemaster]

Yeah man i must admit i'm acting like a real wuss it's the truth.

But man at first she was the smartest girl that i ever head a chance to talk to,really caring,really emotional she even cried every time she hugged me.

I just don't really get it tbh she is all lovey dovey with other people responding positively to them,and when it comes to me she ignores me 100%.

Pm's me out of the blue with hey whats up,then again keeps the convo 1-2 texts when i ask her out her answer is''It's not that i don't wanna go out,it's just i can't.

Then i ask her how was your day and she leaves the message on Seen and it's the 10th day no response.
Plus when i asked her where were you for the past a month and a half,she thinks she is fooling a kid telling me i been busy with University not been much on social medias like facebook,and she is online commenting 24/7 to people,posting pics etc etc,what is she really trying to do i have no idea.

How can a personality change from a caring girl to this bitchy cold selfish person and every time i ask for the reason she gives me none i must have done something terrible to deserve this idk what to really do,searching for plain answers getting ignored,she used to be positive laughed at my jokes now she hates everything i do,it's like i'm talking to this complete different person.

Have you considered maybe she was just fronting when you first hooked up and just is a fucking bitch. If she is ignoring you she really is not that into you anyways. Some people just like to treat their partners like shit. She also could be with someone else.

None of this changes the fact that you have been with her for two months and she is making you miserable. At your age she is just a blip on the radar. If someone doesn't make you happy you shouldn't carry on with them.

So the idea that she is the best you had is kind bs because you haven't dated enough to know how much better things could be. After a while your lover becomes your best friend and someone who enriches your life, you gotta know how to make yourself happy and it sounds like you got love to give and are just giving it to the wrong person.

Two months is nothing and you really don't owe her an explanation past that it isn't working for you and that is that.

I would be willing to be that it won't get better because shitty relationships just don't. It can get worse though. You could get her pregnant and have to deal with her shit for the next 18 years. You could fall in love with her despite the way she treats you and feel more hurt than you do now.

You could just move on and find someone else and hopefully it will be a better experience. I do find you have to date a bit before you are ready for a serious relationship. I have had some gf's I met early on and stayed with and got back together with after breaking up. If it is meant to be it will happen but you don't want it to happen with someone who treats you bad.

 

[axldamon]

Have you considered maybe she was just fronting when you first hooked up and just is a fucking bitch. If she is ignoring you she really is not that into you anyways. Some people just like to treat their partners like shit. She also could be with someone else.

None of this changes the fact that you have been with her for two months and she is making you miserable. At your age she is just a blip on the radar. If someone doesn't make you happy you shouldn't carry on with them.

So the idea that she is the best you had is kind bs because you haven't dated enough to know how much better things could be. After a while your lover becomes your best friend and someone who enriches your life, you gotta know how to make yourself happy and it sounds like you got love to give and are just giving it to the wrong person.

Two months is nothing and you really don't owe her an explanation past that it isn't working for you and that is that.

I would be willing to be that it won't get better because shitty relationships just don't. It can get worse though. You could get her pregnant and have to deal with her shit for the next 18 years. You could fall in love with her despite the way she treats you and feel more hurt than you do now.

You could just move on and find someone else and hopefully it will be a better experience. I do find you have to date a bit before you are ready for a serious relationship. I have had some gf's I met early on and stayed with and got back together with after breaking up. If it is meant to be it will happen but you don't want it to happen with someone who treats you bad.

I'm still in NC with her so far so good,btw her mom warned me the last week that she has NPD(Narcissistic Personality Disorder)Did some research on that,they use people as narcisistic supplies,they are master manipulators lack empathy from young age and have the void and crucified pain so they need to get attention to feel normal which gives them less pain any attention which they consider narcissistic fuel positive or negative.They start the relationship in 3 phases love bombing(luring you in telling you they can't live without you stuff like that),Devalue(Where they start to devalue you and think so high of themself like they deserve better)and Discard(Where they discard you without answers,you start searching for answers they just shelf you and use stone walling and gas lightning to make you suffer because every time you suffer you provide them narcissistic supply).

It is explained that their emotional level is equal to a 5 yo kid,it's like the kid playing with dolls and when he gets bored he just throws them away , even doe they are grown up mentally and physically,this happens because of childhood trauma,they lack Empathy big time the use people just for narcissistic supply!
They are broken inside but emit outside by a false-self personality to others,they shapeshift personalities to the persons preferences.
It's explained as in the book of Jackyl and Hyde.


Also i been warned about the Hoovering Technique which might take from months to years,they will return back and come back and pretend nothing happened to make you suffer more or they will simply start to lie and tell you they can't live without you even appear at your doorstep with flowers to hoover you in once your in then they start again the same cycle i was frozen when i learned all tho's stuff.