smokeydabear89
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2012
- Messages
- 15
I know man. I kinda want to do something different than just dinner. Still thinking, going out next week so I have a few days to come up with something.
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Need dating tips!
- Thread starter smokeydabear89
- Start date
I know man. I kinda want to do something different than just dinner. Still thinking, going out next week so I have a few days to come up with something.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
This is completely random but if by any chance the two of you like rollerskating that's a super fun thing to do with a boyfriend/girlfriend or someone you're interested in.
Or something along those lines like skateboarding/biking etc.
It's more fun, more relaxed and can potentially give you a common interest to bond over from the start
Or something along those lines like skateboarding/biking etc.
It's more fun, more relaxed and can potentially give you a common interest to bond over from the start
That's the spirit. Just find something fun to do that is not creepy but just light hearted & you can relax, enjoy each others company & get to know one another. What interests her? Find out something & make it about her enjoying yourself. I have found that if the lady is having a good time you will almost certainly enjoy yourself too. It will also show you put some thought into your activity which women genuinely appreciate.
This is completely random but if by any chance the two of you like rollerskating that's a super fun thing to do with a boyfriend/girlfriend or someone you're interested in.
Or something along those lines like skateboarding/biking etc.
It's more fun, more relaxed and can potentially give you a common interest to bond over from the start
Great idea Pagey. A first date is a chance to make an impression to show you are not like the other guys out there. There is something different about you & being a bit different can keep a woman interested long enough to want to be around you.
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
May I ask if you were thinking of something in particular? Hahaha
Exactly!
Not at all Pagey
. For example when I took that lady to a burlesque club it was because she mentioned in passing how she thought it was artful & sexy but if I took another woman there she may have found it somewhat creepy. That is why I suggested the OP find out something she likes & plan an activity based on that. I once took a lady to make custom teddy bears as she collected teddies & it blew her away because it was a "sweet" idea & then afterwards we went to a hardcore punk gig because she knew there was a band I love playing that night. Best of both worlds we did something we love & it was just a fun afternoon/evening.You just want to make sure that the first date is something to remember so you stand out from the crowd for the right reason. I cannot overstate that women truly appreciate a bit of thought about their likes/desires. This is not advice to get a woman into bed but to show her you thought about her rather than the "date". If the sexytime follows all good but that is a beautiful bonus ending rather than the aim.
It might be old fashioned of me but I do believe in being a gentleman & a kind thoughtful gesture goes a long way to just being a better human being.
Sepher
Bluelight Crew
Why d'you stop texting leaving her dangling. Looks like you've backed off after starting to get somewhere cos you seem to imagine this was a means to an end only and you're not sure what the end is but think it has to be done right now. Wrong. See if you can pick it back up and take your time, see how things develop. Keep talking you'll get more comfortable with her, chat will come more naturally as you get to know her and you both relax into friendly, possibly flirty convos. That will make the date a lot less pressured, you'll already have started to become friends, most important in any relationship that you're first and foremost best friends to each other. Give it a go.
smokeydabear89
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2012
- Messages
- 15
I stopped texting cuz I didnt want to just flirt for without an end goal in mind. I already told her I'm busy this week and I'll let her know next week. Still thinking guys.
@stevenski i think a girl should have to earn all of that. I had the mentality you had previously but that obviously hasnt worked out. I'll spend some time on picking a date, but all the care and attention will come later when she earns it.
iheartthisthread
Bluelighter
when she "earns" it??
Maybe she deserves to be treated better than what you are willing to give.
Maybe she deserves to be treated better than what you are willing to give.
Sorry mate but I disagree. When I am talking care & attention I purely mean do something that you know she likes or is interested in that shows you thought about her individually not as another generic date. I consider a woman has earned something like when you buy her a piece of jewellery etc as a relationship progresses......
Pagey
Bluelight Crew
This.
psytaco
Bluelighter
Most girls I talk to just say "be confident" and "listen to her." I know once things get going and flowing all my anxiety will wipe away
This is actually good advice.
I have been on quite a few dates in my time and generally they are successful. There is alot to be said about being a good listener and engaging her in conversation about herself and her interests.
Also be flirty and be open.
I recommend going out for drinks. Best chance of getting some action haha. Don't stress to much about it. Ask her out and if she says yes just go there and try and have fun. That's supposed to be the purpose of it. After you have had a few more dates you will realise that they aren't that nerve racking and it is just two people getting to know one another and sussing out if there is a romantic connection. Don't be too disappointed if it doesn't go well either. some dates are amazing some are far from it. Its all a learning experience.
_mistresspoppy_
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2010
- Messages
- 169
This is probably bad advice, as I'm not like "most girls", but if you're someone I'm interested in i like to know quickly that you're also interested in me. If gereral chitchat is fading off, bring up something sexy like "I bet you're a leopard print girl", and have her prove you wrong... yeah probably a bad idea... Try something safe at first, talk about a book you read or a cool show you saw. If she's doing the f--- me routine- touching you, sitting facing you with her knees touching yours, steer the conversation toward flirty- compliment her jewelry or eyes to be safe, body or clothing to be forward. Follow her lead. If she starts touching you, touch her back, if she backs off wants to talk about current events, go with it.
A fun hookup for me was exploring abandoned buildings. It was dark and eerie until we found this abandoned apartment with a couch still in it. We opened a window and danced to my phones music by the moonlight. It was memorable and fun- not Just dinner. If she's a classy girl, don't try that... Sorry, that's all I got. What I like most women find offensive and degrading, so....
A fun hookup for me was exploring abandoned buildings. It was dark and eerie until we found this abandoned apartment with a couch still in it. We opened a window and danced to my phones music by the moonlight. It was memorable and fun- not Just dinner. If she's a classy girl, don't try that... Sorry, that's all I got. What I like most women find offensive and degrading, so....