S
swb
Guest
maybe you're right
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/800336-update-on-this
I am completely shattered as a person right now. I havent ate in 2 days, barely slept. I just keep replaying our relationship in my head. It was like a dream come true, something I always secretly want with her for 9 years. Such a long time to build feelings for someone for it to end like this. I told her mother today that I understand everything now, and to let her know that I love her and dont hate her and that Im not angry. Also that I am always here for her if she needs anything. I made her that promise and I dont break promises. I deleted all of our pictures, all of our memories, and deactivated my social networking accounts. I have a few good friends that I think can help me, otherwise I just want to disconnect from everyone else until I get my head right again. Maybe one day we can be friends, but deep deep down as much as it hurts for me to admit, I know I deserve better. Im 22 with 2 vehicles, a 70k/year job, an 11 acre piece of property, money in the bank and in 2 401k's. I worked hard for all of that and I cant let anything get in the way of my goals. Im still completely broken, and drained. Its affecting my performance at work, I have no motivation to work on my property, and I havent ate or slept in 2 days. Never have I been so hurt, disappointed, or betrayed. I literally cried like a baby in the shower tonight. The only thing I can take hope in is that maybe we were brought back together for me to save her life, to give her that first reason to get clean. Ill always pray for her, and I hope shes happy. Thats all I ever wanted her to be.
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/800336-update-on-this
I am completely shattered as a person right now. I havent ate in 2 days, barely slept. I just keep replaying our relationship in my head. It was like a dream come true, something I always secretly want with her for 9 years. Such a long time to build feelings for someone for it to end like this. I told her mother today that I understand everything now, and to let her know that I love her and dont hate her and that Im not angry. Also that I am always here for her if she needs anything. I made her that promise and I dont break promises. I deleted all of our pictures, all of our memories, and deactivated my social networking accounts. I have a few good friends that I think can help me, otherwise I just want to disconnect from everyone else until I get my head right again. Maybe one day we can be friends, but deep deep down as much as it hurts for me to admit, I know I deserve better. Im 22 with 2 vehicles, a 70k/year job, an 11 acre piece of property, money in the bank and in 2 401k's. I worked hard for all of that and I cant let anything get in the way of my goals. Im still completely broken, and drained. Its affecting my performance at work, I have no motivation to work on my property, and I havent ate or slept in 2 days. Never have I been so hurt, disappointed, or betrayed. I literally cried like a baby in the shower tonight. The only thing I can take hope in is that maybe we were brought back together for me to save her life, to give her that first reason to get clean. Ill always pray for her, and I hope shes happy. Thats all I ever wanted her to be.