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Need Advice: Long Distance Relationships

C

Cess Sesh

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 1, 2012
Messages
32
Location
GJ, Colorado, USA
I've had quite a few runs with LDRs, their nice I guess to know you make someone happy, but it's not the same if you can't hold your girl when she's down, take her on dates, etc.

Anyways, this girl added my FB a few weeks ago and we've been talking on and off, it's quite obvious that she is into me and wants me to date her, here is a little of our Skype convo.

*removed links with names*

She's really gorgeous, cute voice, nice body, but I just can't deal with another LDR, it kills me, but I can't find how to say no because I'm kind of sensitive to others and don't want to hurt her feelings, but I can't say yes or I'll be in a LDR... the thing is I fucked myself over by continuing to flirt with her as she flirted to me.

Does anyone have a creative way to say no to her when the time comes :/?

She is really pretty and nothing hurts more than hurting a pretty girl :/.
*removed photo*

Edit: removed links and photos. I don't think this girl would want her real name and photo and conversations published.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Explain to her that long distance relationships don't usually work and that you'd hate to start a relationship with her and have it end badly. Just say that you'd like to stay friends for now.
 
Just be honest, she should understand - it's a legitimate excuse. Better not to drag the 'illusion' on any longer :/
 
Ok i told her what you guys suggested then she told me she wants to at least give it a try, so that didn't work. I now get over 30 missed calls a day from her, not over exaggerating she calls me ALL THE TIME and it's kind of weird.. cuz when I do talk to her, theres maybe 3 minutes of talking, the rest is a dead awkward silence.
 
let me get this straight, some random girl you never knew added you on facebook who lives a good distance away from you (non driving distance I'm assuming, so need to atleast fly to her - over 12 hours away atleast), randomly started talking to you. Because she's cute you started to respond back, engaging in her in conversations online, or through text. She got attracted to you and wants to now become bf and gf (dating doesn't make much sense since you can't actually go on a date...). You guys start talking on the phone and you realize that you really don't have to much to talk about. She also starts to contact you really frequently, over the point of normalcy to honestly a bit crazy/obsessive. Something sounds amiss about this girl. Shes cute (I saw the pic), so she should be able to meet people in real life unless she has something going on mentally (not that I don't feel for mentally ill people). IMO she has to have something wrong with her, with no disrespect, something that pushes her to try and connect with someone not in real life (less social barriers involved that can be frightening to some). IMO you need to break it off completely with her. I don't see anything gaining from this and shes already starting to try and build something you do not want.
 
She really should meet people in real life. Relationships that form between two people who've never meet and live to far away to meet are really quite silly if they try to become anything more than just friends. Long distance relationships make more sense if the individuals have known each other in real life, and were in a relationship prior to one of the individuals moving. If she has trouble meeting people in real life, and tries to form a relationships with that is more than friends with someone who doesn't live near her and never has met her, shes likely to seclude her self more because she'll likely end up becoming dependent on that individual. That is honestly the last thing she needs if she has a hard time making friends.
 
Cloudy is correct, just end it (not that there is really anything to end this early on). You do not want what she so clearly wants, so do not lead her on. And, over 30 missed calls per day? IMO this girl needs something that you can't provide - professional help.
 
no-one who has a life/job/family/real world has the time or energy to call someone 30 times a day. the mentality of that behaviour isn't balanced
 
Cess Sesh said:
Ok i told her what you guys suggested then she told me she wants to at least give it a try, so that didn't work. I now get over 30 missed calls a day from her, not over exaggerating she calls me ALL THE TIME and it's kind of weird.. cuz when I do talk to her, theres maybe 3 minutes of talking, the rest is a dead awkward silence.
Click to expand...

Yeaaaah...run away. She doesn't seem stable. Better to get out of it completely.
 
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